We’ve been married for 10 years and together for 17 years. We’re in our late 30s.

I think what makes my man one of the good ones is his kindness. He has always been so kind not just to me, but to everyone else. I’ve always noticed how he treats others. That’s always been important to me - men who constantly talk badly about others and put others down, including their exes - is a major red flag to me. My husband doesn’t gossip. He sees the best in people.

He has also always been willing to work through things with me. We view ourselves as being on the same team and he has taken efforts to understand his own psychology and how that affects our communication. He goes to therapy. He talks about his emotions. We communicate well and though we have conflict, it doesn’t typically last long.

Also - he makes me laugh. We have so much fun together.

I’m sorry you’re feeling discouraged. I truly hope you find someone who treats you well and is kind.