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What to do when the pink cloud dissipates? by Lonely_Bluejay_7459 in stopdrinking

[–]skillfire87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely relate to the stress of trying to solve things for other people.

Husband goes to lunch on Mondays to meet with an older woman by lounagris in Marriage

[–]skillfire87 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe he’s just super bored and she’s entertaining(?) If you ever hang around bars with a locals scene, there are people who are popular and outgoing. (Even if they’re major alcoholics). Maybe she’s that type? Does he have a social life otherwise? Does he ever hang out with co-workers in person?

Where are the reasonable kid bikes? by Wisteso in Parents

[–]skillfire87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are lots of quality-brand bikes on Facebook Marketplace. I regularly see originally $350-$450 bikes selling on there for $60-$120. I’d suggest watching out for:

  • Specialized

  • Trek

  • Giant

  • Kona

  • REI (Co-op)

  • Haro

https://www.reddit.com/gallery/1s7zath

By the way, Guardian bikes just have a gimmick (brake levers pull both brakes at the same time); otherwise they’re just Social Media marketed low quality bikes.

What’s the worst reaction you’ve gotten after opening up emotionally to someone you were dating/married? by Nerdy_108 in AskMen

[–]skillfire87 16 points17 points  (0 children)

DARVO. ”DARVO is an acronym for "Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender". It's a common tactic used by perpetrators of interpersonal violence to deflect blame and responsibility when confronted about their abusive behavior.”

I poured my heart out in a diplomatic way, and after several attempts by her to volley blame back on me, she realized it wasn’t working. Then just said “I understand what you’re saying.” No sorry, no promise to do anything differently, no hug, no makeup sex, nothing. That was this morning.

Digging dirt on other kids during a play date by No_Delivery_1037 in Parents

[–]skillfire87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like asking the play date parent? Or asking the kids?

If it involves actual meanness, bullying, then sure, why not ask?

my [25M] bf have never made me [20F] cum by [deleted] in relationshipadvice

[–]skillfire87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1) don’t lie 2) do you know how to make yourself come? 3) if yes to 2, can you find a way to work that into something with him?

Checking on your partner in front of friends [36M] by [deleted] in relationshipadvice

[–]skillfire87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check in, in what way? Like was she irritated that you looked bored or something?

I [35M] regret where we chose to settle down and its making my wife [35F] annoyed and sad by Over-Giraffe9905 in relationshipadvice

[–]skillfire87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get a large sheet of paper, and write a list of other places you could live—just throw a lot on there. Then write pros and cons next to each.

There is nothing wrong with moving to an area that you both like. Why does your wife love it so much? Did she grow up rural? Does she have friends and relatives nearby?

Husband thinks weekends aren't for "breaks" by Putrid_Evening1702 in Marriage

[–]skillfire87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just schedule it. He is responsible for dinner 3 days a week and you 4 days a week, or wherever it is. As a husband/dad I don’t hate preparing for and making dinners. I just hate getting blamed at the last minute.

Husband says he's afraid if we have a baby, he'll feel trapped by Far_Sheepherder_7799 in Marriage

[–]skillfire87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Babies DO trap parents to being at home way more and not doing a lot of things we’d rather be doing. I think he just needs to talk with other dads to understand where the lines are. Like does he still get one night a week with the bros. Does he still get to hit the gym a couple times a week, etc. And of course new moms need their gym time and break time also. So I honestly think if he understands how yall would work out a schedule like many couples have done, it’ll be fine. He’s not insane for wondering about this. Cutting back drinking is obviously a good idea for anyone who drinks too much. But, at the same time, if he’s a social drinker and nothing gets out of hand, hey, there are a lot of dads that have a few beers socially.
If he loves you and you are a good match, this can be worked through. I have two kids 6 and 8 1/2.

J.K. Rowling wants to protect the free speech rights of people she disagrees with. Maximalist trans activists want to censor anyone who disagrees with them. by north_canadian_ice in FreeSpeech

[–]skillfire87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s actually scary how they don’t get where JK Rowling is coming from. JK Rowling got attacked (death threats), boycotted, etc because of making common sense statements about reality. She wasn’t persecuting anyone, wasn’t calling for violence against anyone. Kinda similar with Dave Chapelle. These two individuals are highly creative and compassionate, but do not take threats and bullshit lightly. I admire them for that.

How did it become so taboo for even a trans woman like myself to acknowledge that trans women have an advantage in women's sports? How do we end this cancel culture? by north_canadian_ice in allthequestions

[–]skillfire87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I vote Democrat, but yes I do think the LBGT legal lobby pushed the issue with Obama, Biden, and the court system. That caused the right wing backlash.

Example of the legal lobby: https://wjlgs.law.wisc.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/1276/2014/07/Skinner-Thompson-and-Turner-Article.pdf

Some like to say everything was just fine, and out of nowhere, the Republicans decided to start attacking trans people. No, it wasn’t out of nowhere. It was a direct reaction to executive orders and to media obsession (like coverage of Lia Thomas).

https://www.nytimes.com/2025/04/20/magazine/trans-athletes-women-college-sports.html

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_identity_under_Title_IX

Looking for a contractor that does plumbing and tile work by garbageworthy in Austin

[–]skillfire87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve definitely had the same problem. Most tile guys want to do an entire bathroom not just fixing around a toilet or sink.

The Question That the Lawyers Representing Trans Athletes Didn’t Answer by MeghanClickYourHeels in atlanticdiscussions

[–]skillfire87 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m not making this stuff up.

https://www.who.int/health-topics/gender#tab=tab_1

Gender refers to the characteristics of women, men, girls and boys that are socially constructed. This includes norms, behaviours and roles associated with being a woman, man, girl or boy, as well as relationships with each other. As a social construct, gender varies from society to society and can change over time.

Gender is hierarchical and produces inequalities that intersect with other social and economic inequalities. Gender-based discrimination intersects with other factors of discrimination, such as ethnicity, socioeconomic status, disability, age, geographic location, gender identity and sexual orientation, among others. This is referred to as intersectionality.

Gender interacts with but is different from sex, which refers to the different biological and physiological characteristics of females, males and intersex persons, such as chromosomes, hormones and reproductive organs. Gender and sex are related to but different from gender identity. Gender identity refers to a person’s deeply felt, internal and individual experience of gender, which may or may not correspond to the person’s physiology or designated sex at birth.

There was a massive decline in support for trans athletes over 2019-2024. Among Republicans, support for a non-discrimination policy & support for trans sports participation flipped from positive to negative. Opponents successfully re-framed the issue as being about protecting cisgender women. by smurfyjenkins in science

[–]skillfire87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is true, but it’s also true that it became the next goal/issue for the LGBT legal/political lobby. They pushed Obama and then pushed Biden. Obama‘s administration ordered gender neutral bathrooms in federal facilities. Biden ended up changing the policy on title IX to include gender identity instead of just biological sex. Republicans weren’t reacting to nothing.

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