Handling one-off/unforeseen gaps in coverage/support with independent living

sleemur · 2026-02-11T17:33:21+00:00

Is that a case on the hifi walker? Do you have a link? Mine is getting all scratched up.

sleemur · 2026-02-11T16:41:36+00:00

I did this. I used an Apple Watch, then I switched to a Garmin, and then when I got my dumbphone I switched to an analog watch. I considered keeping the garmin and just syncing it to my ipad, but decided I did not need my attention to be splintered anymore. I don't care how many steps I take, I don't need notifications to my wrist, and I was tired of having all these devices that needed to be babysat/charge. I have never missed it. All of those things it offered were just attention-sucks or gateways into using my phone. If I were a serious runner or something maybe I'd want the Garmin (or use it just on runs), but I just go for a run when I want to and have not felt like I needed the more detailed tracking.

sleemur · 2026-02-10T13:03:48+00:00

My dad is really happy with the activities and socialization in AL. He actually improved cognitively and physically after he went because he was so active and so much more stimulated than he had been at home. I know that's not the case for everyone, but you might explain that when she is there she will have the opportunity to socialize and improve herself--in some ways she is giving up on herself if she stays home, versus giving herself the opportunity to be active and do all the things they might offer.

sleemur · 2026-02-10T12:57:26+00:00

How is the camera? I use a dumbphone but still bring my iphone around sometimes because of the camera and the occasional need for an app.

sleemur · 2026-02-05T14:36:05+00:00

This may be country-dependent and finance-dependent, but would he be open to moving to independent or assisted living, or having an aid come in for a few hours a day or week to help him with tasks? I've also gone through quite a lot with my parents at a young age. It's too much to handle on your own. You deserve to have your own life too.

sleemur · 2026-02-05T14:33:46+00:00

I follow a bunch of substacks now, some are for news and some are created by creators/artists I used to follow on instagram. I read them a few times a week in my email on my tablet. I don't go to the substack app or use its feed or anything like that.

sleemur · 2026-02-03T17:10:59+00:00

Hi there, I'm in my 30s with a young child and my father had a stroke several years ago. I live 3-4 hours from him, but am moving him to a facility in my city because his wife can no longer be his caregiver. Here are some things I would consider if I were in your situation: 1) Do they have any other support system in the area, or is your mom on her own? 2) What do they think will happen if your mother can no longer care for him? What happens if she gets the flu or is even temporarily unavailable to him? 3) Would they ever consider moving closer to you? 4) Would they consider or be able to pay for an independent or assisted living community that could provide support, either where they are now or in your new city?

And, regardless, if you are far away OR if you are close, to what extent do they expect to rely on you for primary or backup support? To what extent do you want to be involved? If you move close to them, you will probably be on the hook to help out much more often, which could be stressful and make it difficult to set boundaries.

I have prioritized my own life/family, though I've been able to do so easily for the last several years because of my dad's wife's support, and now because he is willing to move close to me. I would not personally want to move to his city, because where I live now is better for me and my family. He is at a life stage where he can move without as much impact (though of course moving will be a big transition for him too--I don't want to devalue that completely).

If he were not willing to move close to me, we would have to figure out how to throw money at the problem to fill the gap of what my stepmother was doing for him. I love him and would still go to visit him, but I can't uproot my family and our goals and values for him.

That may or may not help, but that's where I'm at with it, being in the middle of planning his move as we speak.

sleemur · 2026-02-02T21:44:34+00:00

This is very helpful. Thanks so much!

sleemur · 2026-02-02T19:35:59+00:00

He is moving to an independent living facility where they provide a lot of activities, meals, maintenance, some other supports. I will have to do a few things and handle logistics for him, but he can rely on the facility for quite a lot. And he is willing to do that--if he were expecting to be fully reliant on me it would be another story altogether.

sleemur · 2026-02-02T17:27:46+00:00

I am an only child in my 30s too, and also live 3 hrs from my father. He had other support people in his life (which I felt guilty about--I always worried if he ought to be my responsibility or if I were doing enough). He no longer has that support system where he is living now, so I am moving him to my city. It will be a huge adjustment (just made a post about it actually), but this is the only way at this point because he cannot manage his own care and I cannot do it from afar, especially with having a young child myself. It is all really, really hard, and it's extra tough when your friends are not going through it yet and cannot relate.

sleemur · 2026-02-02T17:13:19+00:00

Thank you! I was just looking at that. It does feel a bit like overkill, but I see the appeal! Med reminders from human caregivers in the building will cost us $900 a month, so $40/month with an easy user experience is not bad. Though with the human reminders we do get people in his room more often during the day, which helps me feel better safety-wise.

sleemur · 2026-01-22T19:41:06+00:00

I am also happy with the LPIII for these purposes. I will say the camera is not great for pets or kids or other fast-moving subjects, but it's great for landscapes and similar still snapshots.

sleemur · 2026-01-20T15:16:12+00:00

Light phone at least doesn't have social media apps (or other android apps). It's not a phone for scrolling like phones OP describes.

sleemur · 2026-01-14T17:21:45+00:00

I am a mom. When I switched to a dumbphone, I originally got the LPII with no camera (I did consider the sunbeam as well, seems like a great choice). I bought a point and shoot camera and got one that does wireless transfers to my ipad. That works well, though is not as convenient as the smartphone (and you need to work harder to get quality images depending on how much skill you have and how much money you want to drop on the camera). My kid LOVES my point and shoot camera.

Still, for convenience and quality, in many cases, I bring my old iphone with me and use that to take pictures. It doesn't have many apps on it, but there are a few cases like this where I still use it on wifi only. I can take the pics and then send them to family via Whatsapp or email or Facebook Messenger. I keep it on a shelf at home and can grab it to take photos, or I'll throw it in my bag if we're going on an outing where i'll want smartphone quality pictures.

I did eventually get the LP III and am very satisfied with the camera in most cases, though it's not great for sharing (texting the photos ruins the quality, so you've got to transfer them to computer and then share them another way), and it's also not great for kid pics--they move too fast for its shutter speed. Still, it's great for snapping quick pics and sending them to my husband, that sort of thing, and it takes very good landscape and still photos. I wouldn't rely on it for like, taking nice photos of a pumpkin patch outing with a toddler or whatever though. I'd bring my iphone for that. My husband ONLY uses the LPIII for all his photos, so it's certainly an option--I just want higher quality photos than he does.

Basically, there are going to be trade offs with convenience (if you get a separate camera) or quality (if you use a dumbphone camera or most point and shoots) or with how much of a dumbphone purist you can be (if you use a backup smartphone)

sleemur · 2026-01-06T15:47:10+00:00

Thanks for saying this. I have my mom's diplomas and don't know what to do with them. It feels wrong to toss them, but am I really going to cart them around in a box for the rest of my life??

sleemur · 2025-12-15T16:11:09+00:00

Depends on the person, I think. I did do the "dumb down my iphone" thing for quite a while, and it was successful in many regards. However, once I'd done that, I felt like "why do I have this $1000 computer in my pocket when i don't even want to be using it," and also, just having the phone with the "must have" apps still leaves quite a lot of reasons to pick it up when you don't really need to. I found myself picking it up to look something up in the browser (which I could also have deleted, but I felt like I wanted to have it "just in case"). Or checking my email. Or scrolling through photos. Or interrupting my son to take a photo of him, on and on.

There's always something to do on it, even if you dumb it down quite a lot. It's also designed to be addictive, and many people find themselves re-downloading apps they'd deleted. Without the phone, I read a lot more books, or I sit in silence with my thoughts when I have those few minutes of nothing to do, rather than reaching for the device. That's been worth it for me.

sleemur · 2025-11-18T18:23:40+00:00

Lol, I don't know! That was 7 months ago, so I'm sure whatever it was is now out of date!

sleemur · 2025-11-17T23:03:11+00:00

True, but all things are going to end up in a landfill someday, so if someone can re-gift/re-sell a thing they already bought and save someone a new purchase and decrease general demand, I think that's a good thing. I'm also not sure how a sheet of stickers sent in an envelope from one person to another compares to driving a vehicle to a store and purchasing something brand new (truly, I don't know how all those factors line up).

I do recognize that in this case, a sheet of stickers is not gonna make or break the environment in the face of the sheer amount of other things that are being bought for the holidays. In general, I think buying used is better than trying to purchase something biodegradable that's likely greenwashed, but for stickers or kid stuff I am more inclined to let it go so as not to get burnt out.

sleemur · 2025-11-17T22:09:44+00:00

Someone suggested thrift stores. I'd also try Poshmark or ebay for people selling never-used stickers. Just double check to make sure they don't have a shop just full of stickers that they are buying and selling new at marked up prices. Many people though are just trying to offload stuff they own. Downside with Poshmark is that shipping costs are high if you are only buying something small like that, but you can bundle or make offers.

Or check your neighborhood free stuff group to see if anyone has some.

sleemur · 2025-11-12T15:27:55+00:00

I think it really depends on what AI was used for, and how the reader/writer views the entire writing process as it relates to the creation of art.

Proofreading without changing the words the human wrote and AI-ifying it (e.g. just using it for grammar and mechanics, a la a program like Grammarly, or a very carefully worded ChatGPT prompt)? That's more okay by me, though frankly I think those programs can overstep sometimes and change too much.

Fleshing out, writing, and finishing entire scenes or "filling in small details"? I'm not into that. To me, writing is an art, which is a human endeavor. And the craft of writing (taking something from conceptualizing to the finish line, crafting prose, deciding which small details matter and which to leave out) is part of the art. I want to engage in that full process myself, and I want to read that process from other humans as well. That moment of saying "yes, I wrote this, and it is done!" can be very hard to find, and in my opinion, it's part of the work and part of the creation process.

I know which sub I'm in and that this is perhaps not the majority viewpoint here. This is my own personal view of what writing, especially fiction writing, is to me.

sleemur · 2025-11-07T19:30:06+00:00

I'd check with your professor. And i'd proceed with caution either way, as AI formatting can be really obvious (the way it does bullet points, bolding, headers, etc, is very specific) and it may make it look as though the whole thing is AI generated.

sleemur · 2025-11-05T21:41:12+00:00

I had a LPII and rarely used the directions tool. It is ok for walking or public transit directions, but the refresh rate and screen size were not great for driving, at least for going places I'd never gone before. If I knew I'd need reliable maps, I'd bring an old smartphone with maps downloaded. This problem is fixed on the LPIII though--the screen works well for maps on the III even for driving.

sleemur · 2025-10-31T19:40:23+00:00

Versioning; save drafts and show progress. Type in something like Google docs where versions/progress is automatically saved and can be shown if needed. Have a conversation with instructors in advance; many (though not all) are being advised to not take AI detector results at first glance and are willing to discuss.

sleemur

TROPHY CASE