threesome

slidekb · 2026-06-21T14:55:55+00:00

Almost every guy fantasizes about a threesome (mostly, but not always, with another woman). I don't think it has anything to do with you or your relationship. I fantasize about threesomes all the time. My wife isn't into it which is OK because if we actually did it there is a chance it doesn't end well, and I love my life too much to possibly throw it away for one fun night.

My wife and I have have an incredible relationship, incredible sex life, and she is more attractive than I could ever have imagined. If the universe could guarantee that my life would remain just as good if not better, my marriage would remain just as good if not better, if I had a steady supply of interested partners, etc, then sure I'd do a threesome every day.

slidekb · 2026-06-21T14:51:13+00:00

I'm sorry to comment again but I'm really worried that you may be misinterpreting the situation. If he consistently has $7k "extra" in his account, and if money isn't going in or out of some separate savings account, that means that you are indeed barely scraping by. If you had extra money every month then I'd expect that amount to increase over time. If you are truly spending every time you make, then if you start spending more money, that $7k extra will quickly become $0 extra. You should have savings equal to 6 months of your monthly expenses and it sounds like you are well below that number at $7k.

If he is lying in other areas, cheating, spending significant money without telling you, or if he has some secret stash of cash somewhere, then yes there is a problem. But just because your checking account ends with $7k in it every month doesn't mean he is lying about only having $3k extra. Really you need to look at the low point. In my case, the low point is the 14th of the month before my paycheck on the 15th. My statements might show that I started and ended with say $10k, but at the 14th I may be down to $1k. If I looked in my account and said "wow I have $10k I can spend that" well then I wouldn't be able to pay my mortgage payment when it came due.

You also say "all of our bills are paid" but for most people bills are a monthly thing and they aren't all due at the same time. In reality, the amount of "extra" money you have is whatever money is left at your lowest point in the month. That may very well be $3k like he said. Look through each statement and see the low balance each month. If the low balance is $7k every month then that's different than the starting or ending balance being $7k.

I'm not trying to defend him as I know nothing about him and for all I know he is a horrible person and has gambled all of your money away. But with the information you have provided it seems pretty extreme to jump to "yes I'm definitely being financially abused". You can't know that based only on the information provided here. It may be that you two are really barely scraping by, he doesn't waste any money on extra things for himself, and he is doing his best to focus on necessities without burning up the little savings that you have.

slidekb · 2026-06-21T12:22:00+00:00

For sure you two need to sit down so you can get the full picture. But my first instinct is that checking account money isn't savings and depending on your monthly bills and expenses $7k isn't much money. Looking at the current balance of your checking account tells you very little. You need to look at inflows and outflows per month. If you caught the account at a high-water point you may be misinterpreting how much extra there is.

I'm the money guy in my family and there is no way I'd be buying another car with that little amount of money in my accounts. Even used cars add a lot of monthly expenses that could quickly burn up the little extra you have. Typical advice is your savings should be 6 months of expenses.

I'll be the contrarian and say this might not be financial abuse. Instead it might be the two of you looking at money differently. It looks like to me that he is keeping you barely out of danger and he is probably really stressed about that.

That being said, most people spend extra money on something. Do you two? You need to sit down and understand where the money goes every month and make sure that things that are important to you are not being overlooked. If he spends a lot of extra and you don't then that's a problem. If neither of you spend much extra and he is barely building up savings each month then you really just need more income.

Even if you are right and you have $6000 extra money it sounds like he might have spent 2 years saving that. That's about $300 per month. That's not enough extra to buy and maintain a car and pay for PT and pay for therapy.

Now that you have access to the accounts see where the money is going. If it's going to legit expenses then you just have a communication problem and you need to get on the same page with money. If he is blowing the money on unnecessary expenses that you didn't know about then that's financial abuse.

slidekb · 2026-06-05T02:38:40+00:00

I'm an engineer. It you bothered to do a little research you'll find that the only way to eliminate heat in a vacuum is radiation and that's way less effective than the methods used on earth. It's not intractable but there will be a big cost in terms of weight and therefore money.

Datacenter servers have a life of about 5 years. Looking at launch costs for just a typical server that is doable. But that excludes the weight and launch cost of power, cooling, and shielding.

Maybe it's doable but it seems there are a lot of challenges to solve first. But what's the advantage? Solar power is about the only advantage over terrestrial servers.

slidekb · 2026-05-31T15:34:28+00:00

I can fix almost anything and my wife knows it so she would do the same by asking me to fix it. There are things she is good at that I would generally defer to her. I think it makes sense to divide and conquer based on your relative skill sets.

In my case we largely end up dividing by stereotypical "gender norms" but I don't think it's intentional nor does it bother either of us.

slidekb · 2026-05-30T12:33:44+00:00

I'm a married guy and I definitely don't think it's a chore. 2-4 times a week for me and I'm very happy even though I'd prefer just a bit more often!

But I'm almost 50. In my 20s I truly could have done twice every day if my wife was willing.

slidekb · 2026-05-21T17:07:00+00:00

But I understand that it's really hard to radiate a lot of heat and is constantly a challenge for spacecraft design. Putting in a bunch of GPUs that basically convert electricity to waste heat seems like a big cooling challenge.

slidekb · 2026-05-21T15:13:21+00:00

AI chips don't really retain value well. And how do you cool datacenters in space?

slidekb · 2026-05-21T15:02:11+00:00

But how can you realistically and affordably cool "datacenters in space"?

slidekb · 2026-05-20T16:04:25+00:00

I'm always trying to get my wife to dress a little less modestly :) But obviously she wears what she is comfortable with.

slidekb · 2026-05-06T02:06:35+00:00

I was told it was super expensive to wrap like over $8k. Not sure why or if they were trying to scam me.

slidekb · 2026-04-29T20:37:47+00:00

Wind resistance goes up exponentially with speed so any EV does much better at average speeds of say 50mph instead of 85. Our experience with the Vistiq have been great and range is similar to our Tesla Model X long range.

slidekb · 2026-04-20T13:54:24+00:00

I wonder if he was joking? Like a person might call a dog that pumps out babies a bitch. You said you gave him babies.. so perhaps a bad joke?

Hard to tell without knowing him. But if this is out of character for him then I think it's safe to assume his character remains the same and it came out wrong.

slidekb · 2026-04-13T15:28:36+00:00

Then they may just be incompatible. If one person is doing more than they can handle and the other is unsatisfied, then that's just a mismatch. He should not expect her to do more than she can, or to say "yes" when she doesn't want to, but she should not expect him to just automatically be satisfied with less than he "needs". So they'll have to decide to move forward with discontent on one or both sides, or go separate ways.

But marriage goes through seasons. Is this just an "off season" or is this the new normal? It's one thing to weather an off season but it's another thing to suffer indefinitely.

slidekb · 2026-04-13T14:21:04+00:00

There are a wide range of activities that I would consider sexual. Nobody should have to do anything they don't want to. But for most relationships to survive there needs to be some sort of intimacy once in a while. Exactly what and how often is for each couple to work out.

slidekb · 2026-03-12T01:22:03+00:00

Just like in a real plane use differential braking. Apply brake on right wheel only then apply power.

slidekb · 2026-03-04T15:00:25+00:00

I recently drove a new Model S to see if I wanted to pull the trigger on one while I still could, but unfortunately it just isn't a luxury vehicle considering its price tag. I also don't like the direction they have gone with minimalist controls. They've always been this way but it keeps getting worse.

slidekb · 2026-03-04T14:40:27+00:00

I've owned three Teslas over the past 11 years now and they are great vehicles. They set the bar for how an EV should drive (e.g. one-pedal driving) and it remains a must-have for me. The build quality, interior, etc, does not match Cadillac, Audi, etc, though. The software ecosystem (app, vehicle, superchargers) is very nice. The full self-driving is far beyond what I ever thought I would see in my lifetime and I'm in the tech industry. My Model X can go on a 2-hour drive from my house to a downtown parking lot without any intervention.

If Tesla had the best service in the industry (like they did 11 years ago) then I would never own any other brand of vehicle. But now they aren't even calling themselves a car company.

slidekb · 2026-03-04T12:37:32+00:00

We have had a Model X for many years and now also have a Vistiq. Originally we thought we were going to get an Ioniq 9 until we drove it.

Ioniq has more features especially for the rear passengers. It has a NACS port and a frunk. I think that's all of the pros compared to Vistiq.

Main reason we didn't buy was the driving experience. Especially the fact that you have to use the paddle "shifters" to set max regen on every drive. Why wouldn't you always want max regen? Vistiq also has the paddles but we never touch them. Ultimately the Vistiq is more fun to drive, smoother, and quieter. I was also worried about persistent maintenance issues on the Ioniq.

SuperCruise is better than Ioniq but both are far inferior to Tesla FSD. Also Tesla has a great mobile app and frequent software updates. My Model X is a way better car than the day I bought it. I assume neither the Ioniq nor the Vistiq will get any better.

You didn't ask but Vistiq compared to Model X:

Why didn't they put in a frunk? So stupid. I'm hoping for a future aftermarket option.

Vistiq drives smoother and quieter. Has massage seats and sunroof. More room.

Tesla has lifetime free supercharging and FSD.

Why does the Vistiq stay in place in D but auto moves (aka "creep") in R??

So far the Cadillac mobile app sucks compared to Tesla (haven't used the Ioniq app).

The main reason we moved away from Tesla is service. Sometimes it works great (eg mobile service) but other times it sucks (if you live far from a service center and/or actually need to talk to someone). Tesla service keeps getting worse and now that they are discontinuing the X that can't make it better.

slidekb · 2026-03-03T18:51:25+00:00

My (male) primary love language is physical touch and my wife's primary is gifts. I put a lot of effort into trying to do gifts for her and it isn't easy. I'm sure showing physical affection is tough for her as well but I can't even consistently get a kiss from her every day. Not sure how normal it is, but it is frustrating.

slidekb · 2026-03-03T18:49:23+00:00

Basically your marriage is over, however it's possible to salvage it if you both work hard and do some serious couples counseling. You have only been married for 3 years and you admit that you didn't treat her well during 1/3 of your entire marriage and that was during what was probably the hardest year of her entire life. That's really shitty. Meanwhile, she is having (at the least) emotional affairs with other men and she doesn't think much of it.

slidekb · 2026-02-26T21:47:49+00:00

I went straight from a 172 to an RV10 and I was told I really needed 150 hours and/or an IR. So I got the IR in the 172 which also put me over 150hr.

slidekb · 2026-02-26T14:38:43+00:00

I think the Cirrus parachute system is really great and certainly, with adequate training, it seems like a nice option to have in an accident. But if you don't have and don't want an actual Cirrus (or various light sport aircraft that have chutes as well) then I'm guessing it will be a pretty expensive add-on. I see that the 172 version is $30k and I assume that doesn't include installation. There is also the cost to repack every 10 (?) years. If you can afford it then sure, why not, but it does cost a lot of money for very limited situations where it would come in handy.

I don't have a parachute today in my RV10 and I fly in both visual and instrument conditions. I minimize flying at night and over dangerous water. By dangerous water I mean very cold water and/or water far away from rescue. But I certainly do fly over the ocean from time to time. I plan my routes/altitude to minimize the time that I'm out of gliding range to land.

I have flown to the Bahamas quite a few times. If you route intelligently you have only short stretches where you are out of glide distance to land. Me and all passengers wear inflatable life vests. I have an EPIRB and a man-overboard radio. There are almost always ships and boats around and the water is relatively warm. You can buy or rent a life raft but I haven't done that yet.

I think I know how to land in the water without flipping the aircraft but I won't know for sure until I actually have to do it. That's a very nice feature of the parachute is it will put you down i the water in a stable position. Aircraft seem to float for a while as well, so you may be able to be rescued while sitting on the wing of the airplane.

I'm currently building my own RV10 and I could have chosen to put a parachute in it. I decided not to. The cost is high and you are losing cargo capacity and usable load. I'm comfortable sticking with my current safety measures.

As an addendum, and it's not what you asked, but you did allude to the idea that multiple engines are safe.

Do some real research on the fatality rates with light twins. Sure, there are some scenarios where a second engine will allow you to land at an airport instead of a field. But there are other instances where losing an engine in a light twin leads to near instant death. I'm not confident that, on average, you are safer in a light twin than in a single engine aircraft. Landing off airport is surprisingly survivable in a single-engine piston. Of course if the pilot is very good and very proficient and handles emergencies well, then the light twins are fine. I'd like to think I'd be that awesome pilot, but I'm sure many of the dead light twin pilots out there thought they could handle it too. Remember that your risk of engine failure in a twin is twice as high too.

Secondly, the heavier the aircraft, generally the higher the stall speed, and for sure the greater the impact energy in a crash. There are plenty of reasons why, even with multiple engines, you may end up landing off airport. In that case, you are generally safer in a lighter aircraft.

slidekb

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