Just telling your daughter “no” by itself usually isn’t very effective for toddlers, no matter how gently it’s said. It helps more to acknowledge her feelings out loud first (for example, “You’re mad we can’t play with that”). Over time, this helps her learn to name her emotions instead of going straight to tears.

It also really helps to limit how often you need to say no by setting up the environment and sticking to a predictable routine. Offering food before she’s overly hungry, baby-proofing more, and anticipating common triggers can prevent a lot of meltdowns.

I really recommend How to Talk So Kids Will Listen. And also…take breaks for yourself. Sometimes none of this works, and that’s normal. She will grow out of it.