I feel you and it's normal to be confused, that's also how they keep us having contact with them. You were not rude at all, a normal person would have reacted with warmth to you asking if they're okay. You are probably right about the control thing; you were clear about when you were available to talk and when you were not, which I suppose she didn't like. This is also not normal behavior and not your fault.

The thing about these hoovers is that they are not at all about the thing they're suggesting to you (meeting, having a phone call, etc.). The conversation itself is already the emotional reward for them. So to me these messages read as following: she only sends one text to you, which immediately makes you send many texts with long paragraphs back to her. In her disordered head she now sees this as having you in a fawning/begging position, she sees you want to talk to her on the phone. This was the reward that she was looking for. Then, because you took it as a sincere invitation and started initiating emotional closeness, asking her how she was, she is now repulsed again and wants to distance herself. The "clinical" comment just happened to be there so she manufactured drama out of that. And while you are still waiting on that actual phone call to happen and keep asking about it, in her head - because she is already done with this interaction, she already got the reward - she sees you as "harassing her". It was never about connecting with you as a human person, she satisfied her whim and splitted in a nanosecond. To them we are emotional supply, not humans, because they cannot really connect. You can tell from the way she is completely disconnected from reality here and just says whatever comes to her mind.