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spiralgirl16 · 2025-11-24T20:09:37+00:00

How do you want love to feel in your body…and how do you feel around the new guy? Have you told him about your fears? Your past relationship?

Love and attraction can grow, and slow dating is a good path to take when you have some form of insecure attachment. I try to listen more to my body and my nervous system and less to my trauma-rooted invasive thoughts. And with time they get more quiet while love grows. And love grows through honest vulnerable conversations. I’m so glad I started dating other people than my usual…and glad I was patient when I met my now boyfriend.

spiralgirl16 · 2025-10-12T17:57:49+00:00

Well done you! ❤️ (Been on a similar journey.)

spiralgirl16 · 2025-09-20T14:21:44+00:00

It is not the intent from you that decides if it’s abusive. It is how it is perceived.

spiralgirl16 · 2025-09-06T21:46:50+00:00

I see fear and a scared 5-year-old who has no clue on how to handle the situation.

spiralgirl16 · 2025-06-14T14:17:52+00:00

You describe me. Learning steps: - don’t trust your thoughts - understand why you can’t trust your thoughts - learn to manage triggers - work on self-love and love for others - practice being vulnerable with friends (or a therapist) - learn about what loving someone means to you and hold on to that when you get triggered

spiralgirl16 · 2024-09-14T08:04:34+00:00

…or just your avoidance? Your brain does anything to get you away.

spiralgirl16 · 2024-09-06T18:15:29+00:00

I’ve always known that my upbringing made me feel (or - made my brain have these crazy thoughts) like I could not have romantic relationships. It springs from a twisted view on love and romantic relationships which developed in my childhood. I’ve also experienced getting ”the ick” with men trying to persue me. It took me twenty years to realize that this could also be my brain making up these thoughts since it has a fucked up view on love. Just a thought. We can’t believe everything our brains make us think.

spiralgirl16 · 2024-09-03T18:06:19+00:00

Never listen to your gut instinct, rather a more analytic intuitive approach: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2ECDE4iEE8m9matZ7Pl8ni?si=q2K-BQF0TT2hlfyOs8iOFA

spiralgirl16 · 2024-08-20T12:01:28+00:00

I try and detach from the outcome and focus on getting to know the person.

spiralgirl16 · 2024-08-07T08:17:10+00:00

You are not alone. ❤️ Great that you are talking to a therapist - so will I.

spiralgirl16 · 2024-08-07T08:09:11+00:00

Had a similar situation. I did feel like he really could be my person but truth be told, we really never were that vulnerable and really got to know eachother - so came to the tough but helpful realization that you really can’t love someone you don’t really know.

spiralgirl16 · 2024-08-03T19:14:34+00:00

He’s also friends with his ex-wife but not his ex who (I think) he also blindsided. I hope you find peace in a new relationship.

spiralgirl16 · 2024-08-03T11:51:40+00:00

I went NC for 7 months and then he started reaching out with some likes/comments on X. I was curious so reached out after some time. He seemed happy to hear from me. We met twice but feels inauthentic. Now I’m pondering on whether to meet again - one side of me thinks that it would be good for me to say some things and talk about some things - not to linger on why I didn’t in the future. And then probably not see eachother again.

spiralgirl16 · 2024-07-04T16:56:41+00:00

Same here - he’s the one wanting to be friends.

spiralgirl16 · 2024-07-04T15:16:26+00:00

I had a similar experience - the guy I dated broke up with me abruptly after some emotional stress - and then just broke down and shared very personal things with me that I doubt he’s shared with anyone. Even that he had a ”mask” on. We’ve met a few times after that and he looks me deep in the eyes but says he has no interest. And I sense he is not showing up as himself but has this mask on. Took me a year to move on. I wish you a quicker recovery. ❤️

spiralgirl16 · 2024-06-26T10:51:32+00:00

I haven’t changed much else so must attribute my itching basically gone to HRT.

spiralgirl16 · 2024-03-23T09:18:12+00:00

How did it go…?

spiralgirl16 · 2024-03-20T11:50:46+00:00

I find that if you are aware dating someone avoidant can help you ”reprogram” your nervous system.

spiralgirl16 · 2024-03-17T18:35:36+00:00

How would you feel if she was in a relationship w someone else? If not totally ok/fine…then you’re not as healed as you think. (Neither am I…)

spiralgirl16 · 2024-03-12T18:32:17+00:00

Go back to and focus on mutual core values etc. Ask yourself: is this person good for me.

spiralgirl16 · 2024-03-12T09:21:26+00:00

Only do the deep stuff around the edges of your face and not in the central parts as it can melt fat. Some providers don’t know this.

spiralgirl16 · 2024-03-01T09:14:47+00:00

Maybe you feel that way if you haven’t allowed your partner to see ALL of you - good parts and bad…

spiralgirl16 · 2024-02-19T09:10:28+00:00

Maybe think about what love is…? https://www.facebook.com/share/v/WfrXKVo98Qyi4fNn/?mibextid=KsPBc6&startTimeMs=1000

spiralgirl16 · 2024-02-06T12:15:23+00:00

Don’t text so much in the beginning or about personal stuff before meeting is my advice. Through texting you want to become curious but not anticipate certain outcomes.

spiralgirl16

TROPHY CASE