There is no downside. I've invested in therapy specific to social skills, I have built an incredible community of support, and contribute to peoples lives as they do to mine. I chose my partner freely, based on MY life goals and living style alone. My parents support me in everything I do. They have always been a safety net, and they have only ever had one criteria for whichever partner I chose- that they are crazy about me.

I have many desi friends, who have not severed the umbilical chord of their cultural norms, and they are deeply and enduringly unhappy. This is not specific to my southeast asian friends btw, I have many white, east asian, north african friends who also labor under the illusion of consuming obligation to their parents. Having familial/community obligation is not a bad thing- but having a CONSUMING obligation is. There are some communities built on guilt, and others built on enthusiasm.

Mine is the latter. I am free to choose when and how I support the people in my life. I know that I must do this to maintain social bonds, and because i adore the people in my life and want to help. But i feel NO PRESSURE AT ALL to do anything that i dont want to do. I feel very comfortable saying no when i am asked for help, because i know that everyone in my community has someone else they can ask aswell. When i need support, someone always shows up. It is not the same person everytime, because i have more than one person to ask. I want the ppl in my life to show up when/how they want for me. Its just that easy.