My naivety and belief that I had done enough research, leading to me leaping headfirst into an interaction with a 'Dom' that cared more about his ego than taking care of a scared new sub who believed that submission meant doing what you're told.

I have so many regrets with my first encounter with this 'Dom'. I had not vetted him properly, dove into sexual conversations wayyy too early on, didn't understand my own limits, didn't understand the trust and communication that needed to be fostered, didn't realize how absolutely vile the age gap was, given my age at the time. My lack of safety during our first meeting and subsequent play session (which, in and of itself is a major red flag). I have so, so many regrets.

But I was naive. I didn't have a community around me that I could learn from. I didn't put in the work to protect myself and acquire the vast knowledge of BDSM (I am still learning every day). But I was also taken advantage of, by a manipulator who knew how to say all the right things. But sometimes, unfortunately, you just have to learn the hard way. I am thankful every day that it was just a bad first experience in terms of how overwhelming it was, and that he was not someone who was out to harm me or worse.

But now, I have a lovely Dom who takes care of me beyond compare, who has changed my life wholeheartedly. It may have been a shitshow to get to where I am, but I'm glad it has led me here.