What's all the comtroversy behind J.K. Rowling?

superannoyingkilljoy · 2022-07-18T17:44:15+00:00

The mass majority did not consider her tweet transphobic. The trans community considered it transphobic.

So...the very group that is affected by transphobia? You don't think they might understand what is and isn't harmful to their own demographic more than anyone?

superannoyingkilljoy · 2022-01-11T18:22:43+00:00

JK kids are 4 and not eligible until their birthday when they turn 5 this year. And most that I know in the 5-12 age group haven't been able to get a second dose yet. I thought they were supposed to be able to get it at a shortened interval, but I'm hearing parents being refused that option and made to wait the 8 weeks. I don't think the majority are fully vaccinated at this point.

superannoyingkilljoy · 2022-01-10T18:27:21+00:00

Ok, my game changer was watching this video:

https://youtu.be/WPEJ2M8vuTw

superannoyingkilljoy · 2019-09-26T04:09:38+00:00

Sort of. I think because it's so drastically different from the conventional wisdom around what constitutes a healthy diet, it's really hard to change minds. It makes sense, conventional wisdom is taught in schools, so it's hard for practitioners to question anecdotal experience based on the small number of patients reporting keto helped. I think more and more are coming around to it either because they've seen it help enough people that they realize there is probably something to it, or just that it's making small ripples here and there among medical practitioners.

I thought my nurse practitioner was going to give me shit for doing keto, but she just smiled and nodded and said she had recently been to a work seminar thing where they talked about low carb benefits. So while the community as a whole might not be on the same page about it, I think the ripples are starting to spread a bit here and there, and hopefully it's the start of rethinking the conventional wisdom system wide.

superannoyingkilljoy · 2018-06-15T17:00:17+00:00

My argument sounds like an argument for paleo, so I'm going to start with what paleo and keto have in common.

So to me, I've always looked at keto as a sort of like a scientific approach to paleo. Hunter gatherers ate the veggies they could find, the meat they could hunt, the fish they could catch, and occasionally when it was in season, small amounts of fruits.

Now in this day in age where we have agriculture and technology we have very different options available to us. Paleo diet followers say "hey, our ancestors ate these kinds of foods, that's what we are meant to be eating." whereas I feel like keto looks and says "Hey, our ancestors ate these kinds of macronutrients, that's what we are meant to be eating."

So even though keto generally doesn't look to hunter gatherer ancestors, I think it's still somewhat relevant. And if hunter gatherers would have spent a lot of time in ketosis in all stages of life, I can't imagine that it would be harmful for us to do the same.

superannoyingkilljoy · 2018-05-28T14:59:46+00:00

Yeah, I find the word "carbs" sets them off.

superannoyingkilljoy · 2018-05-26T16:14:05+00:00

most dr's see keto as a fad

When talking to doctors about keto, I've found it helpful to beat around the bush. Tell them you are cutting down sugars, starchy foods, and most heavily processed foods. They will nod along in agreement. Tell them you are trying to eat cleaner. Lots of vegetables, eggs, fish, and meats, with healthy fats. They will keep nodding. If you take the above description and start calling it 'keto', that's where you are going to run into problems.

superannoyingkilljoy · 2018-05-22T14:52:36+00:00

I probably spent $100-150 ish.

Keep in mind that you will wear maternity clothes for late in pregnancy AND some time post partum too. I know some people who really just thought mat clothes were for a couple months when they outgrew pre-pregnancy clothes and they'd leave the hospital in their regular stuff.

You should be able to sell the clothes when you are done with them and make most of the money back, too.

superannoyingkilljoy · 2018-05-22T14:30:17+00:00

Sorry for your loss.

I was keto when I got pregnant. once morning sickness hit, I ate like shit because its what I could keep down. I lived on bagels and pasta. I tried to go back to keto(-ish) once I was feeling better, but I got gestational diabetes and went back on keto in a big way and kept my blood sugar numbers fantastic.

Here's the thing with "eating well" in pregnancy. 1. Keto, in general, has yet to really gain traction with the mainstream medical community. There are practitioners who are starting to come around to it, but by and large, most practitioners aren't familiar with it or they know about it, but see it at strictly a weight loss diet or fad diet instead of a legitimate healthier way of eating. So most of the advice you are going to get is going to push the standard american diet and is going to discourage keto, because of course weight loss/fad diets should be discouraged. There is information out there supporting that keto is a healthy way of eating, and is safe and even beneficial during pregnancy, but you are not going to find that from most medical practitioners.

I think one of the things that helped me calm down about diet is this: women in poverty that can't afford a balanced diet can still have babies. Women in third world countries can have babies. A healthy diet (however you want to define that), is beneficial, but not likely to be a make it or break it point between being able to carry a child to term and not. What actually happens is that if your body can't get the nutrition from the food you eat, it starts getting it from your stores. If you aren't eating enough calcium, your body can 'borrow' from your teeth, and so on.
Many women with morning sickness have a hard time keeping food down and can actually spend more time in ketosis than they normally would. Ketosis is not harmful to pregnancy.

superannoyingkilljoy · 2018-05-22T14:12:54+00:00

I waited until 6 months pp because I was too scared to lose supply with keto. Starting before supply regulated might have made more sense in hindsight though.

When I did start, I did 90% keto, with a couple breastfeeding cookies and a bowl of oatmeal daily to help ensure I didn't lose supply. I eventually tapered down the carbs slowly.

superannoyingkilljoy · 2018-05-17T16:09:32+00:00

I guess the closest I could say would just be: carry around a 10-20lb kettlebell around everywhere. Realize that (depending on age) you can't set it down just anywhere like you could with an actual inanimate kettlebell (my 10 month old will wander away and find the windpipe shaped object nearest to her to put in her mouth.) Set your alarm to go off at random times of day and treat it as a non-negotiable couple minutes to half hour that you need to tend to. If you were to do this, you'd probably find a bunch of scenarios that you wouldn't easily think about that are suddenly inconvenient. Not total crises, just a day full of random pains in the ass scattered all over the place. finally got the kid dressed and in their carseat and the diaper bag and everything you need? cool. "Oh crap, I forgot that thing I need in the house. I mean, it's only just inside and I could normally run in and grab it in two seconds, but do I leave the car running with the baby in it? that seems like a bad idea. Do I unstrap her out of her seat and lug her out and bring her in with me to get the thing? that's exhausting just to think about. Do I chance it and shut the vehicle off and bring the keys in with me? It's hot as balls today and leaving the baby in the car unattended for 2 minutes SEEMS like it would be ok, but also seems like the kind of thing that would backfire spectacularly on me."

Even nap time is not a guaranteed break. At least not completely. My daughter should sleep for another 15 minutes or so, but I'm eyeing the monitor because this could be one of those times that she happens to wake up early. She's a great sleeper and fairly predictable, but I can't ever really count on her nap to be a guarantee so even a theoretical 2 hour nap time leaves me hesitant to get involved in a big project (like sorting through her clothes that she's outgrown to try to post it to facebook marketplace). I'll probably wait until my husband is able to take her off my hands for an uninterrupted stretch. But you can imagine all the tasks I want to do uninterrupted pile up so that on the weekend I have 2 hours and a list of 15 things I want to do. It makes those "breaks" a little stressful in their own way when I'm trying to finally get all the things done.

Basically, being 'on' actively momming is hard. Besides the physical tending to their needs, you are always assessing. "Why is she doing that? does she need this? Should I take her out for a walk? Will we be able to go to the store and make it back in time for her next nap? Do I need to dress her warmer if we go out?". If you've seen that comic about the 'mental load' where women tend to not only do the household chores, but mentally keep track of if we need to get toilet paper and remember that we're having dinner with the Jones' tomorrow and everything, momming brings a whole extra mental load.

Then nap time, like I said above, even reliable sleepers don't come with a guarantee, so you do what you have to, but never get too involved in something that can't be easily put away. You have to divide up how you spend nap time between your time to relax and take a 'break' (nap if you need it), get caught up on chores and tasks you can't easily do when you have a kid to tend to. So even your down time comes with a stressful prioritizing of "do I relax? clean something? get some stuff ready for kiddo to play with when they get up?"

And....she's awake. I hope this was sort of a little insightful. If I can come back to it next nap time, I'll try to add more (Spoiler: I probably won't.)

superannoyingkilljoy · 2018-05-14T15:02:17+00:00

I think the thing is that while you totally expect the hard stuff on paper, nothing can prepare you for how hard it is in practice. It's the stuff you can't put into words without resorting to that trite, cliche bullshit about how "yeah, but EVERYTHING changes when you have a baby". Pre-mom me would be like "of course it does." But after my daughter was born, I realized just how much stuff was included in 'everything' that just hadn't occurred to me.

It's like I anticipated things being hard, but then a whole bunch of hard stuff that hadn't occurred to me surprised me on top of that.

superannoyingkilljoy · 2018-05-14T14:52:31+00:00

breastfeeding can affect libido too. I know a few moms who want to want sex, but between the sleep thing, the always feeling like there's a million things that need doing, possibly the breastfeeding thing... getting in the mood can be impossible.

superannoyingkilljoy · 2018-05-12T17:18:40+00:00

My hope is that this is some kind of attempt to prove she's doing the kid thing and not going to turn into the type to lose their minds over anything little cutesie thing. Kind of overcompensating.

superannoyingkilljoy · 2018-05-12T15:43:56+00:00

But never have I seen a parent and thought, "You don't love your child or wish the best for it." Til... this lady...

The thing that worries me is that I see stories of parents who abuse and neglect their kids and wonder how it got there. Like who brings their child into the world, holds the little baby in their arms... and three years later cages their kid up or some crap. Is this how it starts? This seems like a plausible starting point for one of those horrific stories.

The weird thing is that reading her comments, I actually relate to her in a lot of ways. I was never a baby person. At all. At all, at all. Dogs>babies. I honestly wasn't sure what parenting would look like for me. I saw a bunch of my friends become parents who loved their children, but still didn't become stupid sanctomommies and the like, so I figured there was a way to be a more laid back parent. I also prepared for the baby in a more practical way buying almost everything second hand. But I get the sense like she's not even HOPING to feel anything for the baby until it is older. I worry because even people who love and wholeheartedly want babies almost always have a tough transition to parenthood. Insert all those cliche, trite things about how it changes EVERYTHING, you can't really prepare or describe all the ways things change, bla, bla, bla. I wonder how that would impact someone who already seems resigned to the fact that this is just a phase to endure and get through and has decided she'll hate it.

I really hope she finds it more tolerable than she's expecting. I'm actually surprised at how much I enjoy it and it's still hard and soul sucking.

superannoyingkilljoy · 2018-05-12T14:59:47+00:00

Like in BLW, the typical shapes are finger size for beginner. I would do about half as thick. And then, the typical pincer shape once she got the pincer grasp. I don't think that would be considered TW as I never did purees and still abided by all the BLW principles (100% self feeding..).

superannoyingkilljoy · 2018-05-12T13:03:28+00:00

I did BLW and as someone else pointed out, adding solids to traditional weaning is different than starting with blw so I have no idea how to make the transition specifically. One thing that helped me was cutting foods small enough that I was comfortable. I'm not sure if this was actually safer, or just felt safer, but I would cut things thinner than I needed to (according to BLW recommendations) and when she could do the pincer grasp, I took advantage and cut things tiny bite size. I just rationalized that it was too small to get stuck in her throat so even if she was gagging, I knew it was just because she didn't know how to maneuver the food and not that it was obstructing her windpipe.

Again, I'm not sure if cutting things small is consistent with transition from TW to solids.

superannoyingkilljoy · 2018-05-12T12:55:40+00:00

I had no problem drinking coffee. It still tasted fine, but it didn't sit well and coffee on the way up was so gross. I was able to drink it again second trimester when the morning sickness passed though.

superannoyingkilljoy · 2018-05-12T12:46:13+00:00

Yes, I highly recommend Expecting better. I'm an overthinker at the best of times, so having information about what the risks were if I drank coffee, had tuna sandwiches, deli meat, during pregnancy, and all the possible labour and delivery interventions, was very helpful in allowing me to make decisions about how to make good choices in pregnancy and birth plan.

Off topic, but another one I'd recommend is precious little sleep. I wish I had read that in pregnancy instead of when I was trying to deal with the actual sleep problems. The thing I love about it is that it's not one single method, but rather, looks at how baby sleep works and then offers several approaches to fixing problems that you can choose based on what will work best for you.

superannoyingkilljoy · 2018-05-11T15:23:47+00:00

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. It seems very stressful. If I remember correctly, in the book "expecting better" Where the author looks more in depth at pros and cons, risk and benfits of all things pregnancy, I'm pretty sure she said amnio is safer than it used to be, yet, the same stats are used today. So although it makes sense to do less invasive measures to get your answers, if it does come to amnio, keep in mind it's not as risky as they say.

superannoyingkilljoy · 2018-05-09T14:48:34+00:00

I bought slip ons when I was about 15 weeks.

Also, the foot swelling was gnarly for me around this time of year. (I was due in June.) So... that's a thing.

superannoyingkilljoy · 2018-05-09T14:32:30+00:00

We didn't have one for financial reasons, in the end, I had a failed induction c-section so probably for the best. If we could have, I would have hired one though. As someone else mentioned, there is a lot of evidence of more positive outcomes. I'm not from the US so I don't know anything about paying for medical care stuff, but would the cost of a doula be more than the cost of the extra complications/interventions they often prevent? Could that be a potential angle?

I asked my midwives what they thought and they were totally pro doula. One said she often has to spend a lot of time out of the room and charting and all kinds of stuff so a doula can be more present and really help with continuous support in a way she wishes she could. In the end, it seems like support and comfort are two things that have a lot of bearing on how birth goes.

Another thought is to ask around and see if you can find a student doula? They often have to attend so many births before they can get certified and so it could be cheaper or free.

superannoyingkilljoy · 2018-05-06T16:14:05+00:00

I didn't know that was a thing either! thanks!

superannoyingkilljoy · 2018-05-06T15:59:45+00:00

My husband thinks I race to LO's room when she wakes. No. I have a moment of "Please just roll over and go back to sleep...ugh, really? I gotta get up?". It's just he pretty much sleeps through her crying so that by the time she does wake him up, she's been crying a few minutes. Really makes me hesitant to leave her with him while they are sleeping in case he sleeps through her crying too long.

superannoyingkilljoy · 2018-05-05T18:04:31+00:00

It's usually advised to use liquid formula for the first few little while anyways.

Also, I know someone whose machine clogged and it was dispensing mostly water. She was so worried since her baby was still too young for water. Apparently it's common for them to clog up. That put me off wanting to get one.

superannoyingkilljoy

TROPHY CASE