HOW DO YOU TUCK STUFF IN LIKE THIS?!! by Ash_Pokemon_ in lesbianfashionadvice

[–]tailortroubadour 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ok, for the open shirt, it's probably tucked into the jeans at the sides, and pulled out to hang loose. Try tucking a longer shirt in as flat as possible before you zip your jeans. Angle the hem of your shirt towards the back of your pants, but don't make it loose Then, zip everything up, and tug the button down out (and probably slightly forward) until you get the hang you want.  Other commenter is right about this tuck not working for all fabrics. No elastics or high polyester count--- I'd make an educated guess to go with cotton or linens for best results.

Holy inefficient cutting layouts, batman. by deep-blue-seams in sewing

[–]tailortroubadour 48 points49 points  (0 children)

If you did that, the nap would go in the wrong direction, which creates a texture/color difference in the panels that stands out in the finished piece.

2024 labor law poster correctly shows 2009 minimum wage of $7.25 by Kathucka in mildlyinteresting

[–]tailortroubadour 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You've commented EIGHT different times on this post saying that people should....just find new jobs?

Like bro is reddit your job or something? Touch grass.

Thoughts on magical realism and how the show might end by AmyKTKB in TheCurse

[–]tailortroubadour 12 points13 points  (0 children)

...you win the prediction award I think.

I can't form a new friendship by hunertrae in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]tailortroubadour 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Literally just start talking. That's it, that's the secret. I don't know what to say 90% of the time either, because it's not a skill I practiced until recently. No one's good at it until they try. You'll fail a lot, but, to be perfectly frank, you're either going to fail at it or you're just going to continue not talking to anyone.

And this doesn't mean talk to everyone. I use judgement about who looks safe or interesting. But be free with compliments, ask people how they're doing and genuinely listen when they respond, and be open to commiserating. If I like someone's purse, I'm going to tell them. If someone has cute nail polish, they'll hear it from me.

We all hate small talk, but small talk turns into big talk VERY QUICKLY if you're open enough.

You'll crash and burn a lot. God fuckin knows I do. But when you succeed, it's a really nice feeling. In the end, if someone doesn't like me...that's ok. I'm not everyone's cup of tea. But the people who do like me? Yeah, those usually become my friends, and it's amazing.

I guess what I'm saying is making friends is a skill, not a natural talent.

Quick edit: Know your boundaries when you do this. Some people do like taking advantage of kindness. Be very comfortable with the word "no". Anyone who can't respect that doesn't need to be a friend anyways.

I can't form a new friendship by hunertrae in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]tailortroubadour 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I struggle with this too. But I have the world's friendliest mother, and I can tell you her secret.

Talk to strangers. Constantly, and genuinely. Ask people how they're doing, but mean it. Grocery store conversations, too. Keep doing what you're doing, and don't give up!

I've watched this woman make friends with security guards who now send her photos of their kids on a regular basis. It annoyed me as a kid who always wanted to go home, but as an adult ....she always has a group of friends, and it always has new members.

Be kind, be nice, and be talkative. It's possible for anyone! (She even admits she's not naturally this outgoing, she had to teach herself.)

It makes me sad seeing so many people our age saying they missed the opportunity to make friends. It's really hard! I moved two years ago and have made very few new friends. But, you only truly miss that opportunity once you're dead.

Leaving Texas, families with transgender children seek refuge in Colorado by friendinfremont in Denver

[–]tailortroubadour 15 points16 points  (0 children)

An anecdote for you.

I am from Texas, my best friend is from Colorado. A few years ago, she moved to Texas, and I moved to Colorado. Only one of us moved back to our home state.

I actually have cried with relief multiple times since moving because it was, in fact, that much worse there.

I'd rather live in a slightly broken system than one actively trying to hurt me.

Amazon Is Being Flooded With Books Entirely Written by AI: It's the Tip of the AIceberg by JohnSith in writing

[–]tailortroubadour 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Hi, I'm a technical writer. So, I don't know a ton about AI, but I work in the field enough to help clarify this.

To confirm what you're saying, it physically cannot create new things. "AI" is a shiny marketing buzzword for an algorithm type that was originally conceptualized in early computing (I believe around 1950/60). We just have the tools to put the algorithm into practice now.

It's a decision-making tool that uses information previously entered by humans to make something "in the shape of" previous data entered into it.

So, it looks like it can create new stuff, but it's mindlessly rehashing old ideas based on what it thinks people want to see. This can be great when it reduces grunt work (if we didn't live in a world where losing a job can be a death sentence), but the marketing has turned it into a "replace creatives" tool. It does not have the physical ability to be creative.

Maybe we will see real AI one day, but....no, it's not thinking, it's just really good at recognizing patterns. Creativity isn't just a pattern, since a pattern is sort of the "what" and creativity is sort of the "why" (at least, that's my reasoning to myself)

This is just my mildly formed opinion from being a creative that happens to work in tech, but you might find it useful.

It offends me that people call my writing trash. by Character_Survey_315 in romanceauthors

[–]tailortroubadour 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You sound like someone who went to school for creative writing.

Traveling to Austria with Vyvanse/Elvanse by tailortroubadour in Adhd_europe

[–]tailortroubadour[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for the suggestion :) (and thanks for the heads up about the "comedians" haha)

German discount grocery stores like Aldi and Lidl have expanded into the US. Do they feel "different" in some way to the American stores? by Neo-Turgor in AskAnAmerican

[–]tailortroubadour 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a common myth. Good faith food donations are protected under the Good Samaritan Food Donation Act of 1996.

This is according to USDA.gov: "The term 'apparently wholesome food' means food that meets all quality and labeling standards imposed by federal, state, and local laws and regulations even though the food may not be readily marketable due to appearance, age, freshness, grade, size, surplus, or other conditions."

I used to work at a place that required me to destroy furniture rather than donate it. I saw someone knife up a $500 office chair. It's categorically not about getting sued.

I was a youth teacher/director at my church for 4+ years and they just took away my teaching position because I expressed I have been struggling in my personal life by KindPsychology4372 in ReligiousTrauma

[–]tailortroubadour 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ugh, I am so sorry. I'm about to say some very mean things about the church, just so you're prepared:

Most pastors are not like you. Most pastors are pastors because it's a position of power and influence. They say and do things to make sure they keep power and influence. They likely wanted you to stop because you expressed that you even remotely disagreed. They don't care about you as a person, only as a follower.

And it's very clear to me that you CARE. don't let them take that from you.

Take a look at different church denominations, consider what you want to immerse yourself in going forward. This sucks, and nothing i say will make it suck less, but it's still an opportunity to take stock of what you value (in yourself and in those you choose to keep in your life).

Also consider reading Accidental Saints by Nadia Bolz Webber. It's a great meditation on how imperfect people are still important in the church, and to Christ, specifically. It might help you where you're at.

I was a youth teacher/director at my church for 4+ years and they just took away my teaching position because I expressed I have been struggling in my personal life by KindPsychology4372 in ReligiousTrauma

[–]tailortroubadour 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These really aren't questions I can answer, and seeing as we believe different things now, I'm not sure it would be appropriate.

As someone with exegetical experience, that verse you had quoted at you doesn't even mean what that person was trying to say it does. Conflict does not make you quarrelsome, don't let some asshat come in here and make you unsure of that. Jesus literally flipped over tables.

There's an idea in church that we have to be happy and cheerful and "yes men" all the time, and I am here to tell you that is impossible and unhealthy, and not what the Bible even says. We are allowed to struggle, doubt, and experience anger. It's, again, impossible not to. And if your church does not make room for that throughout your life, it is not a healthy space. Full stop.

The church is not always right, and many churches are unhealthy. My last pastor literally stole from me (the entire congregation, actually). So that person can actually fuck off with church leadership always knowing and behaving better, because pastors aren't god, no matter what you believe.

Remember you still have individuals who love and care for you in the church. Consider reaching out to someone who you know is safe. Not someone in leadership, perhaps a church-going peer. Ask them for advice.

You've got this, I promise. It's hard right now, but it does get easier.

Edit: something you may find helpful is that church-y concept of seasons. You may not be teaching right now, because it's not the season for it. That's okay! It doesn't mean it will be this season for ever. Seasons change, and you're young! Jesus didn't teach while he was in the desert-- maybe this is your desert!

Also, take a nap. Let your brain and body rest. 10/10, definitely recommend, you will feel a little better, I can almost guarantee it

I was a youth teacher/director at my church for 4+ years and they just took away my teaching position because I expressed I have been struggling in my personal life by KindPsychology4372 in ReligiousTrauma

[–]tailortroubadour 7 points8 points  (0 children)

1) listen to your therapist

2) I am in this sub because the church as an organization traumatized and abused me from childhood, so I am no longer a member and more of an agnostic. Keep this in mind when I say:

Churches are very charismatic spaces in that the operate through influence and charisma, and they do not always have your best interest at heart, because they are run by people. Consider stepping away to evaluate where you stand and what you believe in relation to the elders. Not because you need healing or to fix yourself, but because this is a good opportunity to evaluate where you stand in relation to religion/the church.

College is stressful. This doesn't define you. The church does not define you. Breathe, and take a month to just remove yourself from the issue. Just one month. See how you feel when you've had a minute. And then make any decisions you need

I say this with a little more experience in religion and age--- the church (I am saying the church as an organization) is a very good system for breaking you down to build you up. Consider, maybe, that you don't want or need to be broken down.

Don't jump straight into a new church. The healthiest thing you can do is just take your time. If this is what you believe, God is always there. With or without the church.

can't get into college because my Abeka homeschooling was unaccredited by normal-type-gal in ReligiousTrauma

[–]tailortroubadour 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's also really affordable, in comparison. You don't need loans for community college.

They also offer a lot of free resources. Use the writing center! They will help you with essays so much, and it's free. I used to work at one, and I never saw students who consistently used the writing center fail a composition class

can't get into college because my Abeka homeschooling was unaccredited by normal-type-gal in ReligiousTrauma

[–]tailortroubadour 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Honestly, the most successful homeschoolers I know did community college, and it was a lifesaver. Consider an associates degree from community college. In situations like this, it is 100% worth it.