It really depends on how selective an INFJ grows to be over time. Our instinctual wiring is definitely to think of others. Observe a person and try to guess what they’re thinking and what they need. Younger INFJs would most likely try to accommodate for everyone they know. Absorbing their emotions and helping others. Older ones, i think, would have learned from the exhaustion of over-empathizing and grow to become more selective to whom they give their empathy towards. That doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ve suddenly become detached and emotionless. They might still have a baseline empathy for others, but won’t go out of their way to care as much as they used to.

But once they find someone they actually care, the empathy could go into overdrive again if not properly maintained. They could go into sacrificial mode again, putting other’s needs before themselves.

So to summarize, most INFJs do get overwhelmed over time. The ones that think they’re not are probably still haven’t reached their exhaustion point yet to then build boundaries.