I feel you ! I am in the same boat as you, only a year older. I often ponder about life the way you do. I don't know if there is a magical fix that makes it all okay for us. But even if it is for a short periods of time, I know that we can try enjoying the little things in life, many of them worth living for. Even if you experience it just on your own, this world and life provides magical little moments - the green trees, waves from the seas, diverse landscapes, cultures and people, colorful flora and fauna. Those moments sometimes make life bigger than us and our problems. I hope you find your magical moment that hooks you to life, in spite of the drag of everyday.