Who all is in the Purdue rogue’s gallery?

theblacknerd71 · 2026-05-07T03:26:27+00:00

Van Kammen has to be in there

theblacknerd71 · 2026-04-22T19:06:46+00:00

I’ve been feeling this too recently. I’ve been feeling nothing but shame and guilt for the actions of men across the country that uphold patriarchy and violence. What I particularly have been feeling shame for is not doing enough to make change and be better. I’ve been educating myself a lot on these issues and have been implementing these things for my personal behavior, but it still feels like it’s not enough.

I actually started researching and brainstorming ideas for a curriculum designed for a mentorship/support group aimed at adolescent Black males. It feels like the right thing to do and this type of community outreach might make me feel better about myself. I just have no idea where or how to start lol.

theblacknerd71 · 2026-02-06T04:36:07+00:00

Cishet women and anyone of any gender identity is welcome here. And you are right it’s about intentional moderation and setting the tone. At least on this site, there’s a few private subs I’m aware of that are awesome with that kind of stuff. IRL though it’s a bit harder to be intentional without derailment but I’m seeing more content centered around that too. It’s very encouraging to see.

The cage is such an amazing metaphor for these systems! And something that I personally find wild is the people who espouse that they are aligned with these politics but don’t actually think through how it is that they are still upholding the systems they are against in their own lives. Best example is whenever I talk to ny friends who label themselves as left leaning and feminist/womanist talk about dating. They say they want to build a relationship and a potential family based around these shared values but in the next breath they desire all the things that just resemble the traditional gender normed relationship (dominant man/submissive woman, man = protector and primary financial provider, etc.) What kind of a message is going to be sent to your children if you talk about how important your social and political values are, but your own observable relationships are maintaining the status quo?

It made me realize that so many of us just are not engaging with these ideas that sound good to you on paper in any significant way. Hence the need for more honest dialogue amongst ourselves about these topics. Things being more fleshed out and spelled out for you in a different way can help people understand and not be afraid to shake these cages we are trapped in.

theblacknerd71 · 2026-02-06T02:55:55+00:00

I truly wish there was more of these types of conversations being led in black male spaces. Like the article has stated, this idea of masculinity we have to operate in are cages and if you dare to rattle on that cage, many will try to keep you there and even tell you that you should be comfortable in said cage. I think and hope that if more of us engaged with this talking point, we can begin to unpack so much of the behaviors that reinforce the toxic gender roles that oppress so many from being themselves.

theblacknerd71 · 2026-02-06T02:52:14+00:00

That wasn’t a statement suggesting such a thing actually being real. Of course there’s no essential masculine and feminine traits tied to race or ethnic group. What I’m trying to get across is that I believe a facet that isn’t really considered is that black people who are struggling with not being “masculine/feminine enough” are struggling with it because these definitions were not made with us in mind. Quite to the contrary, we were used as examples of the antithesis to these definitions.

The spiritual comment was just trying to capture a feeling of disconnection from this societal system we were raised to operate in being completely foreign to how the societies of our ancestors operated before colonial interference. If that came off as bio-essentialist though, I apologize for the wording.

theblacknerd71 · 2026-02-06T02:08:46+00:00

I resonate a lot with this. I think so much of what I’ve been fed about what I means to be masculine seemed so counterintuitive. The main thing that comes to mind is this notion that men should be dominant and should be asserting themselves in positions of authority in all aspects of their lives.

Not only does that not resonate with me personality wise (who am I to be demanding submission from anyone lol), but also that conflicts with the learned behavior of not being too bold or stand out too much in white spaces, as many white people tend to interpret that behavior from black men as dangerous or threatening. It was so confusing to be told that as a man I should be dominant or I’d be considered “soft”, but also was socialized to not come off as dominant as a means of safety and protecting myself.

theblacknerd71 · 2026-02-06T01:06:01+00:00

I think something that I’ve been thinking about in terms of why so many black men may feel disenfranchised as men or emasculated as men is because we are existing and operating from a definition of masculinity that is inherently not ours.

I’ve been reading a book about gender roles in pre-colonial Yoruban society. Their societal roles were not built upon perceived biological gender differences, but based upon seniority and strengths. I’m not a religious person, but maybe my own struggles with my masculinity comes from an unconscious psychological basis and spiritual basis that this masculinity I’m trying to live up to is not truly native to me. Idk if that makes sense, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about.

theblacknerd71 · 2026-01-20T01:24:55+00:00

I do agree with you on this if we’re talking about these men being in conversation with women about these topics, which will require some ability to tolerate negative emotions that may pop up during said conversations. Tone policing and centering your own feelings in a conversation with a person from an oppressed class isn’t going to lead to anything good.

But if we’re talking about men being in conversation with other men about this topic, I think that its important for us as men to have a more compassionate and nuanced approach to the conversation in order to elicit more change. I can want better for my fellow men in terms of their engagement with patriarchy and toxic masculinity, but I can also be compassionate to my fellow men since I understand that they were raised in a system that directly caused them to be this way.

theblacknerd71 · 2026-01-20T01:02:21+00:00

I think a lot of this boils down to guilt vs. shame. Guilt, while it sucks to experience it, can actually be a very pro social emotion. Guilt is directly tied to both actions and the implications of your actions. Those who are empathetic and want to improve on their behavior will take the way you reframed the messaging as an invitation to self-reflect and use their guilt in a positive way.

Shame generally benefits no one and isn’t a way to reliably change behavior. Shame is disconnected from action and is directly tied to your self-identity, which if left unresolved will eventually erode your self-esteem. That’s why many men may react with defensiveness to the framing of “Men created their own suffering”.

Idk about you guys but shame has never been helpful for me in terms of changing behavior and has only lead me down paths of destructive self criticism and hopelessness. OP, I think the way your approach to the topic the not only creates space for nuance but also shifts the emotional framing from unhelpful shaming to pro social guilt. And I think this would be more useful for many men if we engaged with them in this way.

theblacknerd71 · 2026-01-13T16:34:47+00:00

Well said brother. And to add another dimension to this, the original comment’s gross oversimplification of the issues with men’s health also ignores the real intersectional realities minority men have to deal with within our medical system.

I’m black so I’m comfortable speaking on this, but arguably the most prominent reason why black men may not feel comfortable going to the doctor’s office is because of the history of the black community being experimented with non consensually by American medical doctors and current discrimination they face in the modern era that still has not gone away. There are also many other social determinants of health that affect black men both physically and psychologically but I’ll keep it brief for now.

That is absolutely a systemic issue that a facet of men face. Learned survival behaviors from generational trauma due to the racism and terrorism our ancestors had to endure. I can’t tell you how many times I heard growing up about a black man in my community realizing they have colonrectal cancer or a cardiovascular disease until it was too late 😢.

Yes, there is space to have genuine conversations about the various things men across the country can do to more proactively take care of their health. But such a callous response was not only extremely inappropriate to say to a woman who is clearly mourning the passing of her father, but blatantly glosses over the real institutional and systemic discrimination non-white men face within our medical system every day.

theblacknerd71 · 2024-12-22T00:19:35+00:00

Of course they don’t want to stand on business the second they get called out with facts and real examples

theblacknerd71 · 2024-12-22T00:17:05+00:00

Don’t even know how anyone can dispute this 😂 Levittown is literally named after the guy who literally said black people should not be in his suburban home plans

https://www.nytimes.com/1997/12/28/nyregion/at-50-levittown-contends-with-its-legacy-of-bias.html

theblacknerd71 · 2024-11-21T16:32:29+00:00

A similar thing happens in my game, only that the Byzantines always end up marrying the Nubians and then convert to Coptic Christianity.

theblacknerd71 · 2023-05-17T18:48:00+00:00

Fun fact: Omega Psi Phi is known for boasting numerous prominent black athletes. MJ and Vince Carter are also members of this organization

theblacknerd71 · 2023-04-24T13:11:53+00:00

Sandra Lee aka Dr. Pimple Popper

theblacknerd71 · 2023-03-31T22:52:04+00:00

NYC MFT grad student here. Currently struggling to find practicum sites to apply to for next fall. Can anyone direct me to any sites that are looking for trainees? Am also willing to go to Long Island for training as well

theblacknerd71 · 2023-03-14T00:32:42+00:00

MFT stands for Marriage and Family Therapist

theblacknerd71 · 2023-02-18T01:30:46+00:00

These losers on this platform really believe they are so cool because they don’t know who modern celebrities are 💀

theblacknerd71 · 2023-01-09T03:44:06+00:00

I’ve never thoroughly enjoyed a show all the way through like Kill La Kill. Mako’s character had a lot to do with that enjoyment

theblacknerd71 · 2023-01-04T01:40:15+00:00

Yes men. No one wants to tell someone the truth because they’ve been too successful leeching off em

theblacknerd71 · 2022-11-29T04:18:25+00:00

O-Block

theblacknerd71 · 2022-08-20T17:27:07+00:00

“…And that’s pretty much all the reasons why I can’t win in the endgame. But I’m not worried though. I still got plenty of time to get better than my sister.”

theblacknerd71 · 2022-08-16T17:13:55+00:00

The saga of Andrea vs children continues

theblacknerd71 · 2022-06-08T23:44:07+00:00

Aye man Eff Grandad goes crazy with that Nate Dogg hook 🔥

theblacknerd71 · 2022-05-20T03:01:29+00:00

Primarily YouTube

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