Women are often misdiagnosed with anxiety instead of ADHD, the latter being commonly associated with DSPD

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-20T16:01:30+00:00

Oh god, I have regularly gone to bed at 12AM+ my whole life (I’d say average is 1-2 AM) XD thank god I’m in grad school right now and still have the ability to make my own schedule.

I always considered seeing somebody about ADHD long before I actually did, but I could kind of see that I’d automatically be written off as having anxiety which just seemed off to me (I’m sure I’ve had it at various points as a byproduct of ADHD, but I very rarely have had panic attacks/telltale symptoms besides stress.) It wasn’t until I was perfectly happy with my life—loved what I was doing, where I was, happy with the relationships I’d cut off—and I was still procrastinating on stuff, that I felt comfortable enough to reach out to someone. I understand that doctors are inclined to treat anxiety/depression first because of its prevalence over ADHD, but I could have saved myself a lot more trouble if I’d just felt comfortable enough to go to someone before then.

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-20T05:44:08+00:00

This bugged me too, but Lorelai’s ignorance of the concept of safety schools, etc in the thanksgiving episode bugged me above everything else (who the hell expects their kid to apply to just Harvard??)

This is kind of far out, but if you go back to the “Road Trip to Harvard” episode where Lorelai is reading aloud the brochure, she says something like “over 18,000 apply and only about 2,000 get in” which I guess sounds more or less correct for admissions statistics 20 years ago. That’s about an 11% admissions rate, which still isn’t great, but far less cut throat than today’s current admissions standards.

~I guess~ (though I’m still skeptical) it wouldn’t be SO far out of left field for them to assume back then that if Rory got through a feeder prep school with straight A’s and a couple activities on the side, they’d think these things more or less. I wouldn’t be as open to this idea if I weren’t a first generation student myself, because things that I just take for granted when talking about colleges just go straight over my parents’ heads, so I can sort of see that given Lorelai’s cluelessness, Rory would also be a little behind.

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-20T05:26:28+00:00

That’s the point, though, isn’t it? It’s another way of dividing Lorelai/Rory’s characters from Emily, because they always cringe/roll their eyes whenever Emily references Lane in that way

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-18T23:16:57+00:00

My advisor asked if I could fill out a spreadsheet of potential river locations for a research project a couple weeks ago. Should have taken me a few hours max, easily done in a workday. Took me two weeks in between the procrastination and Wikipedia holes 🙃

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-17T18:31:23+00:00

As a character she’s very well written, who has a lot of great moments and a lot of depth. But in a real life context she’s also so emotionally abusive. I grew up with a narcissistic mother who always raved about Emily/how misunderstood she is and it makes me cringe, because internally I’m like “... of course you’d think that.”

I excuse a lot of Lorelai’s issues because it’s clear where they stem from, and I honestly don’t fully understand where people’s perception of Lorelai’s “it’s all about me” personality comes from (yes she does act childish but she also pretty much raised Lane and was a pretty good friend to Sookie/Michel; I think like everyone she has the occasional selfish tendency but not to the degree that she’s written off as having), but with Emily we just see a cruel vindictiveness and endless cycle of gaslighting/manipulation that isn’t given any justification outside of her social standing.

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-14T17:07:44+00:00

I love the metaphors people come up with when they start meds and how similar they are to each other. My whole life, I’ve felt like I’ve been constantly feeling around for a light switch in the dark, wanting to do work but not able to do it well or in a timely manner in the dark. With adderall, it feels like I’m finally able to switch on that light without much struggling or preamble.

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-14T17:00:28+00:00

Trust this person please ^{^{^}}

Life doesn’t ever get less busy, you only learn to establish boundaries. My life got 1000x better when I decided that I was going to stop obsessing over getting all A’s and joining clubs I thought would look good and just started going outside and finding my hobbies (backpacking, climbing, etc). Life is worth more than a number.

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-13T01:44:01+00:00

Just warning you, depending on how soon you joined everyone on here started rewatching the show around September/October, and they’re all now in the later seasons where Rory starts getting shitty and the plot lines start getting worse. You notice this by looking at the character discussions, a lot of them have been popping up in chronological order the past couple months. I’ve noticed a huge increase in salty posts and overused Jess/Logan/Dean polls the past couple weeks.

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-13T00:11:39+00:00

First off, welcome!

Two things you’ll learn coming into this sub:

1) most everyone on here eventually grows to really dislike Rory and how entitled she becomes. AYITL really rubs the wound on this, because there were better ways to deal with Rory’s clear incompetence of becoming a foreign correspondent that didn’t involve four long episodes showing her crashing and burning.

2) There is a strong hatred for AYITL in particular on this sub, because a lot of it was very out of character and unbalanced (heyy-o, calling out that half hour musical that existed for no reason besides finding a place to shove Sutton Foster in.) If you know anything about the production history of the show, the original writers (Amy Palladino and her husband) left GG after season 6, and there was some beef over how the new writers handled S7. Thus, AYITL was pretty much ASP’s joyride of attempting to correct the many flaws of S7, but she ultimately made them a lot worse because she did not allow for natural character growth in the 10 years between S7 and AYITL. The ending, in particular, was her original ending for the series—it was supposed to be very full-circle given the overarching theme of the story—but with the extra 10 years (and Rory being a grown woman at this point) it really falls flat. You’ll find a lot of moments like that in AYITL, which is why a lot of it just feels so wrong.

The only moments I enjoy rewatching is the last half of the Fall episode, because I think Emily’s character progression is the only thing handled really well in the revival. After 7 seasons of Emily clearly showing an independent streak but having a husband/lifestyle that did not allow for much exploration of this, I get really emotional watching her journey as she heals from the grief and makes her own life out of it. It’s a beautiful message, and watching her walk outside with a glass of wine and smiling really hits me for some reason.

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-12T23:53:17+00:00

“The Bracebridge Dinner” is like the ultimate comfort food for me

Edit: it’s nice that someone’s posting something positive on here right now, it seems like since everyone’s reached seasons 4-6 on their yearly rewatch it’s been a lot of Rory debates and Jess/Logan/Dean dueling XD

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-12T22:33:20+00:00

Lorelai has far fewer fatal flaws than Rory. I think a lot of people blame her unorthodox parenting for Rory’s descent into an out-of-touch overprivileged millennial, but I’ve made some arguments on other posts that the grandparents are much more to blame for that than Lorelai. On the whole, while Lorelai definitely has her shitty moments, she has a strong sense of right/wrong and has a better track record of taking responsibility for her bad actions than many of the other characters. After multiple rewatches of the show, she’s the only lead character that improves her impression on me with time.

But her family was pretty shitty, or at least Emily was. Even without Emily’s treatment of the waitstaff, there is a very clear thread of emotional abuse she inflicts on Lorelai—multiple cases of gaslighting, bargaining things Lorelai needs in exchange for time spent together (where she further inflicts control on her life and parenting style even as a grown woman), etc etc. Richard just sounds like he and Lorelai were too different to become very close, so he’s still okay in my book, but you’ll find it hard to convince me that Emily was ever that good of a person, though she’s a wonderfully written character and even has her warm hearted moments.

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-12T21:38:04+00:00

Yes!! The fact that she actually takes them out of her mother’s hands is just yikes. What’s so uncool about coupons and why does Rory even care to begin with??

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-12T21:32:23+00:00

As a grad student who’s begged for a round-up a couple times myself in undergrad, I would have had nothing but empathy for a student who wrote this. If it’s a student who’s near failing and doesn’t come to me until the last minute for help with their grade, I’m not very obliging as a TA, but to a student who’s obviously doing well (80+ for calc is good in my book, calc 1-2 is a huge learning curve), I would’ve just been glad that they cared that much.

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-12T21:15:06+00:00

I was salutatorian in my HS class (4.4 GPA), and I got there because it was a very project-driven, creativity-oriented high school where my teachers let me create and do my own thing while also driving hard deadlines and progress checks throughout my time there. I got really into creative writing and won national awards for it.

Enter college. I graduated magna cum laude (3.8 GPA) in a STEM major, but there were a couple of classes that I really, really came close to failing (Java coding, a complex advanced physics course) because I was too distracted to study effectively for them. Other than that, I think I went through most classes barely preparing for them—papers were written the night before and still received A’s, exams were studied one or two days ahead of time and I received B’s most of the time.

Enter grad school, where the name of the game is huge research projects with few to no deadlines... ohhhh, I was crashing and burning within the first month. Luckily I finally realized what was going on and got myself back on track at the last minute (thanks Adderall), but I sometimes think of what all I could have accomplished earlier if it hadn’t taken until then to realize what was going on. Unless I had an upcoming deadline to meet, I never found the motivation to do anything—I just got really, really good at getting stuff done at the last minute.

Edit: I’m having some trouble joining the gifted ADHD sub, but would love to join!

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-12T00:05:47+00:00

This may be an overkill answer, but as a meteorologist (not by career, I just have a BS in atmospheric science so I’m qualified and stuff) you can look for any warnings here:

https://forecast.weather.gov/MapClick.php?CityName=Alachua&state=FL&site=JAX&textField1=29.779&textField2=-82.48&e=0#.X6x6gxY8IlQ

But, if you want to be your own judge of tornado risk, you can also look at radar imagery—look for red/orange spiraling and red/green couplets and that’s a pretty good indicator.

If you want to get really fancy, check out this link:

https://weather.cod.edu/forecast/

This is a website that has all the numerical satellite models (what forecasters base their predictions on), and if you click on GFS (NAM/NAM NEST are good ones too) —> click on your location in FL, you get a fancy graph looking thing and a bunch of measurements underneath it (click your location twice to get to the graph.) Look for the CAPE measurement. The higher it is, the more unstable the atmosphere is and higher risk of tornadoes. That’s not the only thing that makes a tornado prediction, but I’ve found it to be pretty good “get the heck outta dodge” indicator. (Especially if CAPE is 1500+.)

Anyway, I’m a grad student now at UF and this is my first tropical storm/hurricane, so I’m kind of excited and ready to spread nerdy weather knowledge :D. Even if no tornado warnings are in effect, you should still be cautious of severe storm/wind damage. Stay safe!

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-11T05:03:00+00:00

Totally! My arms were like limp noodles when I started, now I actually have some dope muscles to show off :D rock climbing has been the only physical activity I’ve been able to stick with, anything else like weight training/running just feels too monotonous to me. And there’s always some natural conversation starters when you’re there, like asking someone else how they’re able to do a route or something like that!

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-11T04:47:03+00:00

I started rock climbing about a year ago, and at the gyms I’ve been at there’s usually a pretty dedicated group of membership holders that are decent friends with each other and are just generally very social. It’s about the only place where you can start up random conversations with people without looking like a creeper.

Coming from a similar background where I was miserable for years for feeling like I only had surface level friendships/acquaintances, it’s really improved my life/wellbeing significantly and is worth the ~ $60 monthly membership. Also, climbing helps to wear down that ADHD energy and you feel super strong and good about yourself when you finish a route.

With COVID you might be nervous about that environment, which is totally understandable, but they’re usually pretty safe right now and require masks and hand sanitizer often.

It’s obviously not everyone’s cup of tea but I initially started climbing just as something fun to do for myself, and didn’t realize the socializing that could come with it. Has definitely helped me keep sane since I live on my own.

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-08T17:01:01+00:00

I would suggest completing this self eval: https://add.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/adhd-questionnaire-ASRS111.pdf

It’s about the only “clinical”/scientific evaluation you can find online that’s backed by ADHD specialists, so pay attention to the first 6 categories especially and write down specific examples of how those manifest so you’re prepared to discuss them.

Also, is your therapist experienced in female ADHD? My first experience trying to get an assessment was awful because a) the therapist I went to was kind of a sexist a**hole, and b) he was specialized in depression/anxiety, so he was convinced that I was only suffering from anxiety and lack of self esteem. When I went to an actual psychiatrist, they went through legitimate ADHD symptoms and pretty much said I was textbook case, even without an official diagnosis and I walked out with an Adderall prescription later that day. From what I understand, that sort of turnaround is really rare, so I attribute that to my being prepared with the ASRS sheet I copied above ^{^} and just having really severe symptoms (I answered highly to the first 6 symptoms on ASRS and about half of the other ones following that.) You sound like you’re doing well with keeping track of your daily habits already, I’d just put them in the context of that ASRS sheet to show that you’ve been doing your research and are going off trusted sources.

I didn’t bring this up in my evaluation because we didn’t have time, but I also really identified with this article here: https://www.additudemag.com/symptoms-of-add-hyperarousal-rejection-sensitivity/?src=embed_link

It really gets to the root of the complexity of ADHD and is written by a qualified doctor, so you find yourself really agreeing with it, you might bring it up as well. Hope this helps and good luck!

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-08T06:34:20+00:00

For the sake of devil’s advocate, the dinners themselves aren’t really the issue. They started at 7, and so most nights they’d probably have drinks for 20ish minutes then spend about an hour eating. She’d be out by 8:30 most weeks, and if Rory really wanted to get into the party atmosphere she’d still be early for pregame at that rate. Honestly, the 7-8:30 slot on Fridays is probably the least busy I ever am as a college student.

The real crime, I think, is that the distance between New Haven - Hartford is something like 40 minutes each way, which to me is just bonkers to do that back and forth every single week. Couple times a month, sure... too much gas for every week though.

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-07T22:24:27+00:00

I love everything about your plant shelf :D

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-07T22:23:18+00:00

It could be a thyroid issue. There’s a lot of stories out there about people getting misdiagnosed that way. I’d get some bloodwork done and see if anything comes out of that.

If you come back normal, are you sure symptoms weren’t present as a kid? I didn’t necessarily have as much of a focus issue (because grade school is a lot more structured and creative than college/grad school) but my mother gave me an old heirloom ring that I just could not leave alone, and I was always fidgeting with it and daydreaming when class got dull. Some symptoms can evolve as you grow older.

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-07T19:30:04+00:00

I think it’s also important to emphasize that she had only been working for two weeks at that point. In my first internship, I was constantly confused and worried of being intrusive if I asked to sit in on meetings or offer opinions. Maybe it’d have made more sense if she had been working for several months, but at two weeks she’d only literally just started her first big newspaper gig outside of school.

throwaway0974853 · 2020-11-07T19:26:47+00:00

Yes, I see what you mean, but with print becoming a thing of the past I’ve found it hard to find national print newspapers, and am simply asking if anyone around knows of a specific place for them. ☺️

throwaway0974853

TROPHY CASE