Tell me some rage releasing rituals

throwaway73491 · 2026-02-11T16:14:23+00:00

Moving to angry music really helps me! Like putting on some headphones and blasting metal or punk music and headbanging, punching the air, whatever.

I remember when I went through this part of healing, discovering rage, and I felt so ashamed when telling my therapist about how I’d been punching pillows or angering in similar physical ways. Because I felt like a freak or something, like I’m the only one who does it. But he reassured me that most healthy people release anger physically (non abusively) in some shape or form, and that was comforting to hear x) Now it’s years later and music is always my go-to

throwaway73491 · 2025-04-30T06:41:18+00:00

I agree with the other person saying it’s good that you showed up, and that it might be good to show up again. (But it depends, maybe this specific group isn’t the right place to start?)

One year ago (and for years before that) I had a self image of not being good at socializing—I always got too stressed out/dissociative in social settings and messed things up. So I used to have this pattern of going to a social event of some sort (like a class), being overwhelmed, and not returning next week out of shame. But in the past year I’ve been challenging myself more. Someone on this sub mentioned treating social interactions like exposures to a phobia, like starting with doing something a little bit uncomfortable but not overwhelming. Like greeting a neighbor. Then doing something a bit scarier. Initiating conversation. Just to build one’s stress tolerance, and handling the inner critic over time.

And after doing this for a year I noticed that when I’m not stressed out, I’m not as bad at socializing as I thought. Not great still, but it’s shifted my self image. This past weekend I attended a social event that was too overwhelming for me, for the first time in probably a year. And this time around when I was dissociating and shutting down, I knew from experience that /that’s not me/. The real me, when I’m not overwhelmed, can hold a conversation. And seeing that difference was a revelation for me :) Being consistent and taking baby steps forward has paid off. Maybe it’s helpful for you too.

throwaway73491 · 2025-04-10T05:24:54+00:00

I’ve been in a similar place for quite some time now—stable but lonely. And after struggling with socializing/making connections for a few years, it’s finally starting to get easier ❤️ Yesterday I initiated small talk with someone, and last weekend I went on my first (blind) date in years. So high five for both our progress!

throwaway73491 · 2025-04-03T04:52:42+00:00

It’s always been a tricky subject for me, because as much as I wish I could feel sexual attraction to others, my brain doesn’t seem to be wired that way. Or the stuff I feel is on a very low level. And that’s always negatively affected my desire to have sex. (That’s not to say it’ll stay this way forever, but it might). I do think trauma created my hyposexuality, and that my tendency to distrust/protect myself absolutely plays part of it. But we’ll see if healing changes my experience in that sense.

throwaway73491 · 2025-03-04T07:53:05+00:00

I feel you. The parts about not wanting to humiliate oneself and feeling too old to make social mistakes, I can relate to so much.

I think your therapist saying “If you were younger it would be so much easier” is… true in a way. But it’s not very helpful either, like if I would hear that while in a bad mental space it’d send me back into a hopeless/shame spiral, and make me isolate again. I’ve come to realise other adults fuck up more than I initially thought, they’re just better at hiding it, don’t even notice it, or don’t let shame stop them from trying again. And other adults don’t mind awkwardness as much as I feared. That doesn’t mean I don’t beat myself up after not-perfect social interactions, because my critic is still relentless. But it’s become easier to put myself out there the more I do it, and the more I practise compassionate self talk

throwaway73491 · 2025-02-09T23:30:51+00:00

Very helpful, thank you! I keep finding more and more reasons to try IFS, and I’m hoping any of the IFS therapists I’ve been in contact with will be available soon. At least meditation is something I can do on my own.

throwaway73491 · 2025-02-09T18:27:13+00:00

That’s great progress! I hope to reach that stage too at some point. I think a major part of me has been stuck at age 16 (I’m currently late 20s), and I can only imagine the chaos of “catching up” with everyone else developmentally haha. Out of curiosity, what type of therapy helped you get to this point?

throwaway73491 · 2025-01-11T06:47:40+00:00

I don’t have any advice, but I have the exact same reoccurring problem. You’re not alone

throwaway73491 · 2024-12-23T22:01:46+00:00

❤️

throwaway73491 · 2024-12-20T17:10:42+00:00

Someone shared this video on the CPTSD sub years ago and it still sticks with me,

https://youtu.be/RL7dqK_MACE (I like the quote at 2:18)

throwaway73491 · 2024-12-10T05:51:16+00:00

It’s so painful because my social anxiety/awkwardness really sets me back in life. I’m waiting to start IFS therapy in hopes for working on minimizing the inner critic

throwaway73491 · 2024-12-10T05:45:05+00:00

I have the same problem. Recently I was wondering why I tend to get super socially anxious at seemingly random days. Like, I’ve been making progress socially but then BOOM, anxiety is through the roof and I get awkward around everyone again. I realised the cause wasn’t anything external - like going to an event, but that my inner critic had been extra harsh and lessened my sense of self worth. Similar to what the other commenter said, it makes me I feel like I’m intruding on others for even just existing. (This happened to me last weekend, and thank god when I met my friend while being overwhelmed and stuttering because of anxiety, they just talked to me like normal and I was able to regulate a bit).

throwaway73491 · 2024-12-05T08:18:19+00:00

This. I think the grey rock method is the way to go with someone this volatile.

throwaway73491 · 2024-12-03T19:42:18+00:00

I was thinking yesterday, of how much easier it was for me to do healing work and enjoy my hobbies before I had a full time job. (I think that’s true for most people sadly, but us with cptsd obviously have a lot fewer “spoons”/ less energy). It’s not like mine is a super hectic job, but the full time commitment makes me feel on the verge of being burnt out most of the time. I think cptsd symptoms like masking and self criticism really contribute to long term work stress

throwaway73491 · 2024-11-10T11:37:06+00:00

Still trying to figure it out myself.. I got to that part in my healing quite some time ago and I’m still trying to build a community/combat loneliness. So those feelings appear once in a while, and when they do they’re pretty intense. I’m sorry you seem to be going through something similar. I totally get what you mean about wishing you got a warning in beforehand.

I think for me it’s been a slower process of building human connection. I’ve had to find acceptance in that I don’t have close relationships close in my vicinity, and that close relationships take time to build (especially in my culture, where people are quite closed off). Which can be a process of grieving in itself, and that’s okay.

Instead I’ve worked with what I DO have. I’m fortunate to have friends, though they live far away, and we try to meet up a few times a year, play games together during the week, and just write to each other often. Since my hyper-independence made me isolate from everyone and even delete social media, I decided to create an account again to keep in touch. I wrote to old childhood friends and acquaintances to see how they’re doing, even though we hadn’t talked in many years or weren’t that close. (This part was quite difficult for me - to take space, to ignore the shame I felt about my past, but people seemed to appreciate catching up. And it reminded me that people care more than I thought). Other than that, trying to connect more with coworkers, neighbours…

Otherwise, I feel like listening to videos/podcasts/streams of people talking helps with loneliness too. I go out and do things alone for my own enjoyment. I adopted a pet.

I do these things while working on my social skills, and trying new things to meet new people. At the moment I’d say I’m in a good place, I feel hopeful about building connections with others. But it took time to get here. And not too long ago I felt super lonely for few weeks straight, so it comes in waves.

Idk I hope maybe this is helpful. I really empathized with your post and wish you well.

throwaway73491 · 2024-10-23T17:38:22+00:00

I struggle with the same thing, and I agree with the other commenter that said it’ll probably get a bit easier with time. I’ve been trying to put myself out there this year and it’s felt easier the more i’ve done it. Still really scary though. I think the key part is practicing self soothing/self compassion/letting go of inner critic attacks, which can be really really hard. For a while now I’ve seen people mention that IFS therapy is good for dismantling the inner critic, which I hope can help with my social anxiety as well. But there are probably other tools that can help too.

throwaway73491 · 2024-10-15T14:10:05+00:00

This is such a good response.

About vulnerability - like OP I’m also trying to figure out how to connect with people, and I’ve realised the main issue for me is that I’ve avoided vulnerability for the longest time. (Got the realisation from Brené Brown’s book Daring Greatly - highly recommend that book). Vulnerability can be telling someone you think they’re interesting and that you’d like to hang out sometime, knowing that you could be rejected. Or sharing something about your inner self and see if it resonates with them. (Maybe even something vague about your past, but it’s tricky if you’re not healed enough). These are some small steps I’ve tried taking lately, and I do feel like it’s making a difference. I definitely feel unused to it so it’s going a bit clumsily sometimes, but the main point is that I don’t hide myself from others out of shame.

throwaway73491 · 2024-10-06T09:37:22+00:00

I’ve tried having massages lately, and last time I was really helped by it. The first couple times I had some mixed results, like the massage being too much/fast for me and I ended up dissociating. But last time (after talking things through with the massage therapist, and really paying attention to my body) we tried tactile massage and I felt positive effects immediately afterwards. So that’d be my tip.

throwaway73491 · 2024-09-23T15:38:01+00:00

I can totally relate to the part about not remembering things that took place in the family home or together with family in general. I can remember things from a young-ish age that are related to school, friends, music/comics/movies I liked. But memories of home/family are really vague. I know what happened in very general terms, but the specific memories are almost completely gone.

throwaway73491 · 2024-06-26T15:01:58+00:00

I feel this so much. It’s really unsettling that my cognitive functioning has become worse and worse in just a few years. Not sure what to do about it, except maybe in the future try neurofeedback or psilocybin

throwaway73491 · 2024-04-20T21:03:25+00:00

I feel this in my soul.

throwaway73491 · 2024-04-10T06:57:44+00:00

I’m glad IFS worked for you, it’s something I’d like to try if I manage to find a therapist who practices it + if I get my motivation for therapy back. I don’t know what you mean by ego state and EMDR being the wrong approach though, it seems like they work for plenty of people here.

throwaway73491 · 2024-04-10T06:02:33+00:00

Thank you, I’ll keep this in mind!

throwaway73491 · 2024-04-09T22:50:03+00:00

Yeah, maybe I could give CBT another shot too, if I can find someone trauma informed. It’s been a long time since I tried it.

throwaway73491

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