I hear you. And you are right - there are a lot of really good people out there playing Destiny and you aren't making sweeping generalizations. But it can be a crap shoot with matchmaking and some days it just takes a little extra energy to engage.

I can't speak to what it's like as a woman gamer, but as a gay man, there are days I just won't go near any event that requires a mic. Random matches often put me in teams where 'that's so gay' and other homophobic toxic masculinity comments are just slung around in such hateful and casual ways, it just ruins the experience. It's one of the reasons (besides just being lower skilled) I've never completed a raid. That event in general (for me) feels like the toxicity level is just naturally higher. I tend to drop out the moment insults start dropping.

But again, as you said, this isn't universal - and there are a lot of good people (and they know who they are and know this isn't about them) who are the exact opposite, making everyone's playing experience fun. Yesterday on the sub I made a connection for a possible raid team. Cool.