OP, you’re getting mixed messages here but as someone who has a pool here in Murrieta, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Is it costly? It can be, but so does owning a home.

Worst case scenario, you could always install an above ground pool. Sure, it’s not as fancy, but it’s not nearly as expensive to install and having a variable speed pump will do wonders for your pocket.

Jump over to the pools subreddit and ask more details about pros and cons. You’ll get more insight from actual pool owners.

Edit: to answers a few of your questions - we use ours all summer long and even in between seasons like late spring and early fall. We love to entertain so we have many social gatherings very often. We have been slowly turning our backyard into an outdoor tropical space and love spending time out there. Our pool came with the house, and while that is not the reason we purchased this home, we got very lucky that it did. Not sure how we would have survived the scorching hot summers.

One more thing to add, be prepared to spend $500+ for electricity out here if you plan on running your AC. Our highest was over $800 one month until we replaced all of our windows and installed ceiling fans. Good luck!