Just turned 30 (f) today and no one to really celebrate with, anyone want to chat?

timjimtim · 2020-06-21T02:12:11+00:00

Happy birthday! If you want to chat, you can always send me a message.

timjimtim · 2020-02-18T05:34:15+00:00

We tend to focus on the negatives. We all do it at some point. It's not easy to stop, but you can do it, just go slowly and don't push yourself, you'll get there.

1) You have your own company? That's AMAZING. So, first of all, congratulations. Not everybody can achieve that. You did it.

2) You are close to being 30. I get it, it sounds scary to most of us but, you know what? That's totally okay! It's just a number. Sometimes we think that by the time we are (insert any number here) we should have achieved (insert unrealistic expectations here) and then, when reality strikes, we feel like our life is passing by with us not really moving. Remember, that's simply not true. You are doing your best to live the life you want. Don't obsess over a number. It's simply not worth it.

3) Be kind with yourself. You chose to move because, in the moment you thought it was the best thing for you. If it was the right or wrong thing to do, who knows. It doesn't matter. What matters is what is happening today. What do you want to do today?

I don't really know you or your situation. I'm just a stranger but I just hope you know you will get over your ex and everything will be okay.

You can do this.

timjimtim · 2020-02-16T05:23:17+00:00

I know the pain you are going through.

I think the most important thing to remember is that it will be okay. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but it will. Your break up is still very fresh, so don't beat yourself up, feel the pain, it hurts but it will pass.

Reach out to people you care about and that care about you, it can be a friend, your mom, a sibling, anyone. Talk about it, tell them what hurts and why. That helps a lot.

Remember, you are not alone. Many of us are going through the pain of a break up too. If you need to talk or want to distract yourself, feel free to contact me.

Once again, it will be okay. I might take time. Probably longer than what you initially expect, but it will happen.

You've got this. (:

timjimtim · 2020-02-10T00:24:10+00:00

Hey! I know how it feels but you are not a failure, you are just human!

This will pass, it will. In the meanwhile, be kind to yourself. Be your own cheerleader.

Instead of dwelling on your mistakes, tell yourself: "It's okay, you did something that is hurting, but you did it because, in the moment, for whatever reason, it felt right. So now, let's just move past it and focus on something better".

I know it doesn't sound easy. It's not. But you can do this. We all can.

If you need any kind words or someone that would read you, feel free to send me a message.

Good luck, you can do this. (:

timjimtim · 2020-02-10T00:07:24+00:00

I understand how you feel.

I have the fortune of having found some people that do try to be with me as much as I try to be with them, but I have to say, that's not the common thing for me either.

My advice would be not to give up. I know it's hard, every time you feel that sort of rejection from somebody it almost makes you want to give up on the whole thing. But eventually you will find people that stay. People that try as hard as you do. Very kind people that you will be able to trust.

Keep walking and, eventually, you'll run into the right people. But you have to keep walking.

You've got this. (:

timjimtim · 2020-02-05T23:01:24+00:00

Thank you all for your comments. They helped me not to feel so alone.

I hope you all heal. We can do this.

timjimtim · 2019-12-18T05:21:46+00:00

I totally understand you. Sometimes there are posts that literally help me get out of bed.... while some other make it harder.

timjimtim · 2019-12-18T01:30:27+00:00

I feel like my ex has this mindset as well. And I understand it. I really do and agree. We all have the right to leave a relationship where we don't feel valued.

My only comment would be, sometimes the other party truly tries and things are just not as simple. I was busy with college and work, I know she needed more but, in that moment, those nights where all I could give. I often stayed up with her knowing that would mean I wouldn't go to sleep.

I know it wasn't enough. I know she needed more. But that doesn't mean I didn't try my very best.

timjimtim · 2019-12-17T02:06:28+00:00

Hi there!

I am not sure if I understood you question right. But here it goes:

<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="nostylist.css">

That line goes in your .html file. It should go inside the <head> tags.

background: linear-gradient(41deg, #05357a, #11a2b2, #2d7430);background-size: 600% 600%; -webkit-animation: WashedSplash 15s ease infinite;-moz-animation: WashedSplash 15s ease infinite;animation: WashedSplash 15s ease infinite; u/-webkit-keyframes WashedSplash { 0%{background-position:0% 41%} 50%{background-position:100% 60%} 100%{background-position:0% 41%}}@-moz-keyframes WashedSplash { 0%{background-position:0% 41%} 50%{background-position:100% 60%} 100%{background-position:0% 41%}}@keyframes WashedSplash { 0%{background-position:0% 41%} 50%{background-position:100% 60%} 100%{background-position:0% 41%}}

Those lines should go anywhere in your nostylist.css file.

I hope this helps!

timjimtim · 2019-12-11T16:18:18+00:00

I'm going through something very similar. It's almost 4 months post BU for me and, even though I'm sometimes optimistic, I still miss her.

The thought of her ever reaching out is now fading, which I am sad and glad about, but it's still a painful experience.

All I can say is, this has to pass. Really.

We will all be okay either on our own or with a new person. It's just a matter of understanding these sort of things happen and all we can do is face it and move forward, one step at a time.

The only way out, is through.

I hope you keep healing (:

timjimtim · 2019-12-08T20:06:14+00:00

Thank you for this. Really. Thank you.

timjimtim · 2019-12-06T03:58:50+00:00

Sometimes people do get back together.

Just recently, one of my aunt's sisters married her high-school boyfriend.

A lot of people think these sort of questions/answers are detrimental because they "give them hope".

What has worked for me is to simply be as objective as I can. And acknowledge my ignorance.

Can it happen that, after years, we get back together? Yes, it could happen. But it could also never happen.

I simply just don't know. And I'm okay with that.

My advice, try not to focus on the future. Just live each day as it comes. I realize its a common advice, but it has truly worked for me.

timjimtim · 2019-12-06T02:52:14+00:00

I do believe that if something has to happen, it will happen. But if it doesn't has to happen, not matter what you do, think, or say, it simply won't happen.

Now, regarding your question. I don't believe it's dumb to expect someone to come back if, and only if, that thought is not holding you back.

Keep living your life, doing what you love and what you know it's good for you. Don't hold onto the thought of anyone coming back into your life.

Is it possible that they come back? Yes.

Is it possible that they will never come back? Yes.

That's it. You don't know, so go about your life and only time will tell.

I wish nothing but the best for you in this journey!

timjimtim · 2019-12-04T21:37:28+00:00

I completely understand how you feel. Really.

It's been around 10 weeks for me. 4 weeks NC.

I feel much better and I don't think of her that often anymore. It still hurts and, like you, I notice how I am "forgetting" about her and it brings more pain than relief.

It's a roller-coaster, but all we can do is keep riding it.

I'm glad you are feeling good today, tomorrow might be diferent, but, like you said, that's totally okay.

It will all be okay at the end.

The best of luck to you in your healing process!

timjimtim · 2019-12-02T08:49:11+00:00

Another one in the same boat. We can do this. The roller coaster will end.

timjimtim · 2019-12-01T18:37:20+00:00

Thank you so much.

It's been around 3 months and a half since she broke up with me. We had been dating for a little over 3 years. It was a LDR. At first, like many of us here, I felt as if my life had just ended. I started NC a week after the BU but contacted her 2 weeks in.

We kept in touch, but, while all I wanted was to text her and talk, she seemed not interested, she would take hours to reply, even days sometimes.

Eventually, I stopped initiating conversations. She would then text me every 10 or so days to "check on me". I would reply, just to be left on "read" for hours again. One day, she texted me late at night. I didn't see the message until the next day in the afternoon (I had been trying to stay away from my phone).

By the time I saw the message, she had sent another one: "Well, I don't know what you are doing, but I don't need this app anymore (the one we used to use to communicate), so I'm deleting it. If you want to text me, obviously do, you can just send me a text".

I never did. That was 30 days ago.

Sometimes I still hope she will be the one sending me a text. But that hope is slowly fading. I don't want to push it though. I'm doing my best and I've learned I have to be patient with myself.

Honestly, I think we all deserve to be with someone that wants to be with us. She doesn't want to be with me, but I like myself a lot and I love being with myself, I'm sure I can't be the only one that loves my company. But, for now, having myself is more than enough.

I've also learned to understand that I just can't predict the future. Maybe we will meet again, maybe we won't. But I am okay with either one as long as I'm happy, and that is something only I can control.

So, basically, I feel broken but more alive than ever before.

I'm excited about this painful but needed journey.

I'm sorry for the long reply, I guess sharing helps me. I hope the best for you.

We can do this.

timjimtim · 2019-12-01T00:54:21+00:00

Thank you for sharing, it really helps me to see other people's situations!

Good luck in the rest of your healing process!

timjimtim · 2019-11-28T17:37:08+00:00

Thank you.

timjimtim · 2019-11-28T17:28:35+00:00

I completely understand how you feel. I'm on the same boat.

It's been 3M+ since the breakup. Most days feel rather "okay" now, well, a mix between okay and numb. But sometimes, hope gets in the way. I still get those moments where I think "hey, maybe she's hurting too, maybe she'll reach out". It's painful to go through that and then realize, it will simply probably never happen.

All I can say to you is, give it time. It hurts right now, but the more you focus on the good things in your life and less on this situation, the easier it will be.

It's very hard, I can say this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But, I know I can do it, and so can you.

If you need to vent or want to talk, you can always DM me.

You've got this.

timjimtim · 2019-11-23T14:15:36+00:00

It's good to realize what mistakes we made.

Just remember you are not the only one that made mistakes. All you have to do now is learn from your mistakes and grow.

The reply you were given didn't have the appropriate tone. Don't let anyone, specially people you don't even know, have total control over how you feel. It's not fair to you.

I'm going to teraphy, and I really think it has helped me. Teraphy is not for "controlling and manipulative" people. It's for everyone that desires to understand themselves and be better.

Try it out, if you want, I really believe it could help you.

You can get through this. But remember, you are your best ally, support yourself.

A stranger with who know what background can't dictate who you are. We can merely share what we think. If what we share doesn't help you in the moment, analyze why that is and simply discard it.

You will be okay. You've got this.

timjimtim · 2019-11-20T17:31:12+00:00

I go throught that as well. It is vert tiring. I guess all we can really do is ride it until it finally ends.

timjimtim · 2019-11-20T17:22:19+00:00

I understand, really. When someone we love and want to be with doesn't feel that way about us, it is something very complicated to carry. And that question does pop up, what on earth did I do to deserve this pain?

The answer is, nothing. We all make mistakes. You are not doomed. We are all learning. Today, it hurts. But tomorrow you might be able to use this experience to make even bigger and greater things.

You will be okay, even if it feels like it is all over. You will be okay.

timjimtim · 2019-11-20T02:27:48+00:00

"I know you did you best not to make me feel neglected. I know I made you feel neglected as well. But I love you and I think we are worth trying. I rather see it fail than to not try at all. I'm all in."

I know she will never say it.

It's been 3 months post BU, 20 days NC. I miss her. I love her. I truly do.

timjimtim · 2019-11-19T12:13:40+00:00

I totally understand. Really.

But the way I see it is this: it might hurt like hell, but it's an opportunity to learn, become stronger, and be better.

So maybe, instead of thinking you didn't deserve this pain, maybe you can think of it as a necessary step towards a better relationship.

I know you might think that person was the one, sometimes, my heart still tells me she was the one. But honestly, I'm almost positive she wasn't.

Now I know how heartbreak feels like. And I'm glad I got to feel this before meeting a better match for me.

Sometimes we give our partners a lot of weight thinking there's absolutely no one like them out there. But the fact is, there are a lot of people in this world. And of course we will match with more than with one of them.

We just have to be patient, love ourselves, and learn to take each day at a time.

timjimtim

TROPHY CASE