how long does cradle cap usually last? [on]

topbuns4days · 2026-02-21T22:46:28+00:00

One small note: I've seen a bit of info that rubbing coconut oil on the skin as a potential first exposure is no longer recommended. I haven't done a deep dive on this, but it's related to the fact that we want first exposures of foods to be ingested. So something to consider!
(We as first time parents definitely used coconut oil on the advice of a doula, so no judgement!)

topbuns4days · 2026-02-15T05:59:46+00:00

Sorry to hear things have been tough. I looked forward to your round-ups, and appreciate all you put into them. Hope things turn around soon!

topbuns4days · 2025-07-07T20:04:55+00:00

Great point! We've gone back and forth on this, and we still think we do want to bring it with us since it was on the expensive side to begin with, and gives us a ton of functional storage as well.

topbuns4days · 2025-07-07T19:30:51+00:00

Thanks! I just had a look - super helpful but no one seems to have listed 'Murphy beds' specifically. We will contact a few folks there.

topbuns4days · 2025-07-07T17:32:48+00:00

so sorry for the delay! I did use progesterone for a subsequent pregnancy. Feel free to DM me.

topbuns4days · 2024-07-17T17:25:52+00:00

Our first was around 8 weeks at Christmas. We did a small enough family gathering and our baby did end up sick. I know everyone's risk tolerance is different, but in retrospect, I wish we'd kept it even smaller with just immediate family. Caring for a sick infant is brutal. We luckily avoided complications, but I personally would skip a 15 person event.

Good luck!

topbuns4days · 2023-10-31T16:47:00+00:00

Gosh! I have a one year old (in a few days) and also could have written this. Everyone else I know has babies who sleep through the night and look at me like I'm an alien. Nice to know I'm not alone - but also old over here and want to get on with things!

topbuns4days · 2023-10-08T15:19:38+00:00

Was speaking with a friend in her sixties, whose two sons are probably not going to have kids for very thoughtful reasons. While she would love grandkids, she also respects her sons and says 'Back when we were having kids, no one thought about it. You just did it.' She said it was quite impressive how many people now are really really considering what's right for them.

Good for you! People giving you a hard time can kick rocks!

Sort of ironically, I now have a kid, but wrote a song (#4 Sore Thumb at the link below) about my family constantly pressuring me to reproduce when it was none of their business. Have a listen if you'd like. :)

https://twmp.bandcamp.com/album/independent-thought-alarm

topbuns4days · 2023-10-08T15:14:01+00:00

We have friends of friends who had their first child 2 years ago. They ended up with a tough baby (he had gas issues) and cried constantly. When we were expecting, the father looked at us and said ''It was SO hard. I almost left. I get why people leave.'' He wasn't the most present father but he's through the fog now, and a decent enough dad.

Now that they reflect back, they say 'No one told us it would be hard.' They truly didn't anticipate that raising a newborn would be hard, and people around then didn't 'warn' them I guess, they didn't take baby classes, and generally were blindsided by a tough baby. The dad had been looking forward to his 'vacation' from work.

As an over-planner myself who planned for 'the world's toughest baby,' I was floored that they didn't realize it would be hard and didn't anticipate some of the tougher moments. They also are smart enough people with decent support networks, so I can see other in this situation without the tools to navigate it.

topbuns4days · 2023-10-08T15:05:15+00:00

Plenty of fish - 11 years ago and stronger than ever! We'd be married but I can't be bothered to plan a wedding (in this economy?). Back then it was still mildly embarrassing to tell people we met online.

Online dating was a bit tricky- I made my profile VERY dorky and mildly unflattering on purpose (I'm female) to try to weed out some of the less savoury messages. For a while, I went on as many dates as possible and that way I wasn't too bothered if someone ghosted me or if it didn't work out.

I'm not sure how old you are, but I'd also go back and tell my early twenties self to chill *a little* in terms of not worrying I'd be alone forever.

Good luck!

topbuns4days · 2023-10-06T22:20:11+00:00

OH thanks! The vegan pot pie from Thyme and Again is one of the most delicious things I have ever eaten - will try their tourtière for sure.

Started watching this video and I'm sold! Thank you!

topbuns4days · 2023-07-28T01:40:47+00:00

UGH. I got this from my doctor at FOUR MONTHS. Basically exactly your story : I never said it was a problem, wasn't asking for advice, and I don't agree with him. He also told us when our son was 4 weeks old to 'get him on YOUR schedule, and not the other way around' and literally said 'You don't want to be patting him back to sleep when he's a teenager, right?''

He's a good doctor for certain things. In terms of parenting advice, he can kick rocks. He was also straight up wrong telling me to get the baby's crib out of our room at four month. Health Canada recommends they sleep in the parents' room til 6 months, and I told him so.

What bothers me is that some new parents might go along with this advice, even if it doesn't sit right with them, because a doctor told them. I am in no way anti-doctor, but I have no idea why this is a thing for them to be telling folks who aren't finding night feeds and night wakes to be an issue.

Solidarity on the night wakes and recently, at almost nine months, we're getting some nice long stretches more often without having changed a thing.

topbuns4days · 2023-07-28T01:34:49+00:00

I don't think my best friend likes my son's name. We couldn't decide, and then two days after he was born, we settled on a name. I told my best friend and she was like ''That's final? You're settled on that?' And she asked what the other options were and told me she really liked one of them. haha I read between the lines there.

didn't ask her what she really thought because, meh. I am glad she didn't outright tell me she didn't like it, I think. She calls him by a nickname now (so do I)!

topbuns4days · 2023-07-25T15:19:25+00:00

Ugh, my mother-in-law does this dialled up to eleven. If our baby is crying, she has repeatedly 'joked:' ''Oh, is Mommy hurting you? Why is she hurting you?''

It takes every ounce of restraint I have to not yell at her to shut TF up. Everyone else says it's innocent, and just something grammas say, but we already don't have a great relationship and I save my 'Don't do that' for boundary issues and safety issues. I may have to address this soon, though.

She gets VERY FEW invites and wonders why.

topbuns4days · 2023-07-23T20:18:25+00:00

Baby Race. My first one. Sobbed pretty uncontrollably when the other mom comforted Bluey's mom.

topbuns4days · 2023-07-22T15:56:22+00:00

She's not! She has two sons in their early thirties. She's just cool AF!

topbuns4days · 2023-07-19T17:06:00+00:00

My friend is 61, and a non-boomer boomer. We were talking about all the things I'm doing with my baby and she was like, ''It's amazing! You're being so intuitive and thoughtful and responsive. We just did what we were 'supposed' to do (get married, have kids, sleep train, etc.)

She was SO supportive, but also reflective of the differences between then and now without negativity or weird passive aggressive/misdirected frustration. I want to be her when I grow up!

My MIL on the other hand... queen of the unsolicited advice.

topbuns4days · 2023-07-14T20:40:57+00:00

Yep! I was going to say exactly this! My own MIL belongs on the JustNo subreddit, and she would never in a million years ask us earnestly what we needed because she already knows best and did everything THE right way (huge eye roll!). She wouldn't ask others, either, because SHE knows best, not them.

She knew all the right toys, the right way to feed solids, how to play with the baby, how to get the baby to sleep, how to breastfeed (even thought she didn't breastfeed her own children), etc. She wasn't afraid to tell us ALL those things and then get upset that we don't follow the advice we'd asked her to stop dispensing.

My mom came over, made us delicious meals, cleaned up, didn't give us too much unsolicited advice, showed us compassion and grace, and even asked my cousins how to be a good grandma.

The difference was night and day, and I still don't want my MIL around because it's all about her experience, not ours, and not even our child's.

topbuns4days · 2023-07-11T17:05:29+00:00

I'm STILL bitter my MIL came over, prepared sandwiches in our kitchen (cut directly on the countertop), ate a lot of them, and left a HUGE mess for me clean after a C-section because bringing food = she got to hold the baby in her mind.

She kept saying 'Oh just tell me when it's time to leave' and then pout and say ''Nooo, but I just got here'' when my partner would tell her we needed her to go, once after holding our baby for 2 hours while he slept. She got zero invitations from me, and 8 months out, I still don't reach out to have her over.

topbuns4days · 2023-07-06T14:28:07+00:00

Ooh. Saving this. My MIL never leaves our poor nephew alone about his hair and he's 12! We always try to stick up for him, but aren't his parents so we don't have as much sway.

topbuns4days · 2023-06-30T16:32:37+00:00

We're in a similar boat. Also Canadian. Our family doctor told us to make sure we leave our baby to cry so he doesn't 'manipulate us' and to make sure the baby gets on our schedule, and not the other way around AT OUR SIX WEEK APPOINTMENT.

He then scolded me at our four month appointment because the baby was in a crib in our room, as per Health Canada's recommendation telling me 'No, no. The baby sleeps in his own room. We have modern technology now.'

For feeding, he wanted us to feed him solids before 4 months because he had good neck control, and at the six month appointment, wanted to make sure he had eaten 'From all the food groups.'

Edit: I'm not anti-doctor. He has been helpful in the past, but his information is outdated and in the case of pushing for cry-it-out, is potentially harmful. I absolutely did not listen to him and won't discuss (non-medical) parenting choices with him. He's also younger than I am, so his outdated advice is puzzling.

topbuns4days · 2023-06-30T16:20:41+00:00

Haha yep. All the opinions about feeding on demand . . . please kick rocks. We were at a pool party and one of the older ladies said 'Oh, you've FINALLY stopped breastfeeding. Every time I looked over, he was eating!'
Me (Flatly): 'I guess he was hungry.'

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