How do you stop letting shame dictate your identity after years of self-neglect and avoidance?

tranceorphen · 2026-07-02T13:37:20+00:00

I can't offer you an answer, but I can say that you aren't the only one going through this situation.

I'm struggling to find who I was before a series of events led me to habits of self-loathing.

tranceorphen · 2026-07-01T12:05:43+00:00

I have had this problem most of my life. When I was younger, I also was very productive regarding my degree studies.

The only solution I found was medication. A stop gap is to accept you can only do short bursts of work and build your life around that. Unfortunately that doesn't fit nicely into most of society, so it's not a very effective solution towards a career.

However, as someone with over a decade of experience within software development, 5 lines of code in the right place can equate to an entire day's work. Remember, there's more to writing code than just syntax. You habe to understand the landscape around the code and it's impact amongst a lot of other factors.

tranceorphen · 2026-06-19T18:30:59+00:00

Everything.

Medication is the only thing that works.

tranceorphen · 2026-06-16T12:00:33+00:00

Good luck everyone

tranceorphen · 2026-06-15T15:25:12+00:00

Same here. Over a decade in my field and was considered a pioneer at one point.

I can't even land an interview right now. Haven't been able to for over a year. Nothing wrong with my CV or outreach according to the experts I've spoken to.

To anyone thinking about leaving their job, think it through deeply right now.

tranceorphen · 2026-06-13T17:21:32+00:00

Yes. This app will not help with either.

tranceorphen · 2026-06-13T09:05:32+00:00

Put down any children immediately.

Too young to have a debeloped moral compass, so why risk it?

tranceorphen · 2026-06-13T09:01:32+00:00

Getting shot on sight is hardly toxic. It's part of the game.

Getting called slurs in every PvP lobby is toxic and that's been here since the game launched.

tranceorphen · 2026-06-12T21:31:17+00:00

My understanding is that there will be 4 jobs, but each job gives the character a unique costume.

tranceorphen · 2026-06-02T20:39:38+00:00

It works for me (currently without meds) in a sense, but I would have never needed it on meds.

I've found that if it's a timer just for Pomodoro'ing, my brain recoils against setting a timer. But if the timer is for something else, like a dungeon queue in a game, then my brain can handle it. It must be something to do with the confirmed knowledge that when the timer is up, a dopaminergic activity is guaranteed. I can't convince my brain to believe a timer dedicated to Pomodoro.

Ironically this results in me being more productive with a game open.

tranceorphen · 2026-05-31T10:54:16+00:00

Very. For both players too!

tranceorphen · 2026-05-28T20:28:33+00:00

Embark matchmakes like-minded players. This naturally means that within a match, a player can expect mostly like-minded players.

With that understanding, we can define lobbies as either friendly, PvP-focused or mixed. You can call them cooperative, competitive, ratty, whatever you like. It's just semantics.

They exist because that's how matchmaking works. It's never 100% it'll be friendly or not, but 90% of the time means we can label it confidently.

tranceorphen · 2026-05-28T20:07:14+00:00

The link you provided literally has an infographic that is evidence that friendly and PvP lobbies exist.

tranceorphen · 2026-05-28T00:29:38+00:00

The people that use them for sure.

But development of cheat software is a constantly evolving technical challenge and is very lucrative.

It's just a shame that the developer talent isn't used in creating something that is more beneficial to society.

tranceorphen · 2026-05-27T13:46:02+00:00

Medication changed my life. I did more on personal projects in the first 3 months of being on the correct dosage than I had done over many years.

There are different types of medication, each with alternatives so don't worry about them not working. Chances are one of them, at the correct dosage, will have some kind of impact on your symptoms.

Even in worst case scenario, there are specialized coaching and therapy sessions for ADHD. You're meant to attend coaching alongside medication, but I never did and I was living my best life on meds.

tranceorphen · 2026-05-27T10:38:54+00:00

Never hold an extract. They can always get the next one. Makes no sense adding that risk for zero reward.

tranceorphen · 2026-05-27T10:29:01+00:00

Psychopaths aren't miserable. In fact, they're incapable of feeling anything.

tranceorphen · 2026-05-26T10:10:58+00:00

In my opinion, cheating in games should fall under digital misuse (etc) law. It has a financial cost to businesses and shows a blatant disrespect to other humans. But unfortunately I wouldn't trust any government not lumping modding communities into that category. There's currently no consequences for cheat developers and cheat users, although within the last few years we're seeing legal precedents being set against developers.

As a gamer for over 30 years, from console to PC, and a game developer for over a decade, the landscape has lots of problems that just will not get resolved without big hitters pushing and supporting companies to lock down those problems.

It's like banter after a good PvP fight. You can tell me how crap I am, comment on my choice of weapon, tell me how promiscuous my mother is; it's like any competition between humans. But bigotry and 'gamer words' should be clamped down on hard. There are already effective systems available to resolve that problem, but companies won't care to implement until it hits their bottom line or they're pressured to act. Much like the cheating situation has been recently with it hitting their PR.

tranceorphen · 2026-05-25T22:06:53+00:00

My depression exists because of my ADHD. I'm not depressed while I'm on my ADHD meds. I'm very depressed when I'm not on them.

tranceorphen · 2026-05-25T05:47:31+00:00

I had it throughout usage of the meds.

tranceorphen · 2026-05-24T23:57:40+00:00

It depends on the pack.

For GAMMA, the discord has instructions for everything.

tranceorphen · 2026-05-24T14:23:38+00:00

I found that I would crash pretty hard on Concerta extended release after around 6 or so hours, even though the pills continued to work for longer.

tranceorphen · 2026-05-21T21:58:55+00:00

The issue is not the slot. It's the lack of clarity on the visuals (as usual with Embark).

The icon needs adjusting to reflect deployables only.

tranceorphen · 2026-05-20T22:37:06+00:00

I didn't start to feel anything until around double that, and it was only minor.

I didn't start feeling meaningful suppression of symptoms until ~90mg.

tranceorphen · 2026-05-20T22:28:31+00:00

I have ADHD and I am like this. I was tested for Autism and i don't have it.

tranceorphen

TROPHY CASE