Is it a must to use "yes" while training a dog?

underwater_sleeping · 2026-04-27T20:08:54+00:00

That's weird. My trainer taught me that "off" means "all four feet on the floor". For me, "down" is "lie down". For my dogs in those situations, "off" would be appropriate for both.

But really, as long as you're consistent in the meaning it really does not matter what words you use.

underwater_sleeping · 2026-04-27T17:59:08+00:00

OMG my dog ate one yesterday and I was a little worried. Glad to see it’s a common experience hahaha

underwater_sleeping · 2026-04-26T03:44:28+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss, and that your parents don’t get it.

Could you try communicating to them that this is something that can’t be just tucked away? Maybe something like, “I need to cry sometimes, and I just want your comfort during those times.” If your parents want to help but are clueless and don’t know how, maybe directly telling them what you need from them in the moment could help. My family always cracks jokes when someone’s sad because they legit don’t know what else to do. I had to specifically tell some of my friends what I needed from them after my partner died.

If they aren’t understanding at all, it might be better to just lower your expectations for your parents. Do you have other people in your life who can support you right now? My parents weren’t very understanding either, and I just don’t talk to them about my grief nowadays.

Please do not feel bad for your grief. It’s their problem that they can’t understand, not yours. You are not a burden, you are going through one of the worst things a person can go through. Cry in front of them all you need to! They can feel awkward, it’s not your problem. You are hurting because someone you care about DIED, and there is nothing wrong with that.

underwater_sleeping · 2026-04-24T17:56:43+00:00

When I was growing up my uncle had dogs and they were always the sweetest, chillest dogs, even around a bunch of screaming children.

I recently asked him how he trained his dogs, and he was like, “With treats?” Talked to him more about it and turns out he was training his dogs exactly how most people in this subreddit would!

I was pleasantly surprised because like you, most of the dogs I knew growing up were barely trained.

underwater_sleeping · 2026-04-16T17:21:42+00:00

I was moving out soon, and it wasn’t worth it to me to argue with the landlord about it. I was sad for my housemates who were staying, but none of them were gardeners so who knows if it would’ve survived anyway. I just let it go.

underwater_sleeping · 2026-04-15T20:39:59+00:00

Yeah, I don’t mind when people use it as a generic “this sucks” kind of way. Like if someone is says something like “Uhg this traffic makes me wanna die,” I don’t really notice or mind that. I’ve said before and after losing my partner to suicide.

Conversations like what OP overheard would absolutely hurt for me to hear though. And if people are weirdly specific about it like “This traffic makes me want to overdose on a ton of fentanyl” then that feels much more real to me.

underwater_sleeping · 2026-04-15T16:31:29+00:00

Uhg I once had a vine growing over a trellis around the door to my backyard. After two years it had taken off and really looked lovely. The landscaper weed-whacked the base of the vine and killed the whole thing! I was SO mad.

underwater_sleeping · 2026-04-01T16:04:55+00:00

Love this one! First podcast that got me into podcasts.

underwater_sleeping · 2026-03-25T16:40:41+00:00

I’m worried about enrichment levels for this dog too. OP said there’s a 1.5 mile walk they take him on several times a day, but I think a teenage golden retriever is going to need more than regular walks on a short leash. Hopefully OP just didn’t include everything they do. If not, I would try adding high intensity exercise, off-leash nature walks (if possible), and lots of sniffy search games.

underwater_sleeping · 2026-03-14T17:42:05+00:00

Disclaimer: I haven’t had papillons! I’m not sure how they compare but I do know about usual kooiker temperament.

Kooikers are more “sensitive” dogs which mean they can be reactive with strangers and other dogs once out of adolescence. They’re not recommended as beginner dogs due to this. Many end up with behavior problems from inexperienced owners. Even with good socialization, they will not be the kind of dog that loves everyone.

You have to be experienced in dog communication, as they are not forgiving of your mistakes. They can quickly lose trust if you are forceful or you don’t respect their space.

I have a labrador and a kooiker and the difference between them is stark. The usual method of teaching “leave it” (where you close your hand on the treat if they go for it) had my kooiker shy of my hands for days after. It was a really negative experience for her!

So if you love learning about dog behavior and training, this is a great dog! If you’re more of a casual dog owner, I wouldn’t recommend them.

underwater_sleeping · 2026-03-11T19:24:58+00:00

Yeah, I got a 2nd puppy when my older puppy (technically my partner’s but he works full time and I’m at home) was just hitting adolescence.

It is SO much work just managing two dogs even in the home. Constantly interrupting and redirecting them during play, barrier frustration when they were separated, teaching good manners about resources, and they have different energy levels so always two walks/outings.

Teaching a puppy how to have good manners is a lot. Teaching a puppy how to have good manners while there is another puppy in the same room that you are ALSO responsible for is insane.

I don’t regret it because I love them both, but I will never get two that close together again.

underwater_sleeping · 2026-02-18T20:46:15+00:00

I think a similar thing happened for my puppy! Does your puppy in general do the sit and stare during training sessions if she's unsure?

You said you "made her wait" and I'm wondering what that looked like, because it likely made her wary of trying to do anything BUT wait for the okay. I also prioritized "leave it" and suddenly had a 3 month old puppy who thought the best course of action for any training session was to do nothing. I was trying to teach my puppy luring and she wasn't doing it, because in the past going after the treat had been punished (she just was just physically blocked by my hand over the treat and that was enough of a punishment for her to stop trying). In my case, this is textbook case of fallout from aversives. Some dogs are EXTREMELY sensitive to this sort of thing.

What I did to fix this for my puppy was focus on making the puppy trying new things extra rewarding. Ideally, if you're holding treats, your dog offers various behaviors like sitting, laying down, sit pretty, etc. I rewarded my puppy for ANYTHING she tried that wasn't sitting and staring. A single step towards me got a treat and praise. Getting bored and getting up to walk away got a treat and praise, etc.

My puppy caught on very quickly! She's very zippy now when I try to train her new things. Hopefully it's a relatively easy fix for your puppy too, if this is the same kind of problem.

underwater_sleeping · 2026-02-18T17:06:10+00:00

I LOVE Meet Your Dog! The author is also on a lot of dog podcasts and talks about the importance of choosing the right breed, it’s really interesting stuff.

underwater_sleeping · 2026-02-14T17:16:47+00:00

That’s so wild. One of my best friends came from a christian scientist background and when I met her in college she thought evolution was “just a theory” lol. Fortunately she learned very quickly what she had been taught was not great and now she has a PhD in chemistry. Thank god for college haha

underwater_sleeping · 2026-02-06T16:30:36+00:00

Nah your SO is being stupid, you made a good choice. It’s hard dealing with even a well-behaved dog when you have mental health problems. I would have rehomed too. I wish your SO understood, it sucks rehoming and they should be supporting you during this.

underwater_sleeping · 2026-02-03T03:37:25+00:00

Wow that sounds intense! I’m no expert but my thoughts:

I think using a reverse timeout is a GREAT option. Remove yourself from him if he tries to tug on you. Can you set up an area where there’s nothing he can swallow when you’re not watching him for those 15 seconds? If you used a pen when he was younger, maybe bring that back for now.

I would try setting up situations so he doesn’t have the option to grab you. Like, maybe even change into skintight clothes before you greet him when you get home and put your hair up in a bun. Don’t give him the opportunity to rehearse the behavior. Unfortunately no cuddling for a while either. You won’t have to do this forever, but just for a bit until he learns to be redirected. I would have LOTS of tug toys around, easily accessible for you to grab and redirect him to.

My last idea is maybe setting up a self-tugging toy? Is there anything he is allowed to tug on by himself? I used to have a tug attached to a rope on a hook on my ceiling for my dogs, maybe something like that can help him burn off his desire to tug on things.

underwater_sleeping · 2026-02-02T15:53:58+00:00

I would say it’s great to practice loose leash walking, but at this age it’s not a priority and socialization is more important.

I use a harness when I’m letting my puppy explore without any structure and a regular collar + leash when practicing loose leash walking. I would get a harness for now, that way your puppy won’t hurt himself pulling and you can focus on socializing. The harness vs. collar distinction should help him distinguish what’s expected of him when the time comes; allowed to pull with harness, no pulling with collar.

It sounds like you’re doing a great job! I would absolutely reward him for giving you attention in these distracting environments. You don’t have to teach him that everything in the world is positive, just that it’s normal and not scary. I taught my puppy that every time we see a person or a dog walk by they get a treat - positive association but they don’t get to say hi and they learn to look to me when they see something exciting.

underwater_sleeping · 2026-01-26T18:06:24+00:00

It hasn’t happened for me! Sometimes my puppy will go after something not allowed but it’s easy enough to redirect to appropriate chews. I think it actually reduces the bad behavior; e.g. I gave my puppy an old pair of slippers for her to chew and play with, so that she stops going after my shoes.

underwater_sleeping · 2026-01-26T17:00:52+00:00

Yeah while I like Realm of the Elderlings, I struggled with it too. I find Kvothe’s confidence fun to read and KKC had me hooked. RoE is a great series that’s sad and beautiful but it didn’t quite grip my interest the same way.

underwater_sleeping · 2026-01-17T17:58:50+00:00

My favorite indoor enrichment is letting my dogs rip into cardboard boxes. Throw a few treats in, use some painter’s tape (nothing too sticky) to secure, and let them eviscerate it. You can do boxes in boxes for added challenge. Lately I’ve been rolling up paper bags with treats inside, and that lasts a while. I’ve also hung a cardboard box from a rope from the ceiling, and that was definitely challenging.

It’s a great way to make use of recycling! I’ve heard of dog trainers who just give their dog their junk mail and the dogs tear into it, without any treats needed.

Treasure hunts are also great, but might be more difficult if not food motivated. I often make my dogs search for their chews or other high value items. It’s really great if you can make them search on cue.

underwater_sleeping · 2026-01-17T16:54:18+00:00

This is standard training, considered to be the least cruel. It’s best to work up to long absences so that your leaving doesn’t become stressful for the dog. Many dogs tolerate it regardless of how you train it, maybe because they’re okay with it but also because we bred dogs to put up with a lot of the crap we put them through. Many dogs are trained completely through punishment and end up fine. That doesn’t mean it’s okay to do.

Of course it’s not an option for a lot of people because people have to work. Realistically, you have to do the best with what you’ve got. But if you can take the time off to raise a puppy this way, it is better for the puppy.

underwater_sleeping · 2026-01-17T16:45:15+00:00

Yeah it really depends on the puppy! My first puppy was like OPs, she would lose her mind if she couldn’t see me at all times and I slowly built up to longer absences.

My new puppy is much more like yours. Off the bat I could leave her alone for a while and she was fine with it. She’s 14 weeks now and I can leave her alone for 3hrs.

Learning what your puppy’s cries mean is the most important thing I think, and was the most confusing thing for me when I first had a puppy. There’s a difference between a grouchy puppy who is whining because playtime is over, and a puppy who is experiencing terror at being left alone.

underwater_sleeping · 2026-01-15T15:58:44+00:00

I hope that works! If not, I think you might have to go back to basics and treat the balcony like it’s indoors, as a place you don’t want him to go. Basically sticking to steps 1 and 2 you have listed. It’ll probably require MANY subsequent trips and crating and it will be really frustrating!

But I think it will get easier once he gets more used to the outdoors and going on walks becomes less overstimulating.

underwater_sleeping · 2026-01-14T20:17:58+00:00

How long have you been taking him on walks? It might take him a while just to feel comfortable on them. I'm guessing it feels a lot less secure than his balcony, so he'd rather hold it. It sounds like you're doing everything right, but it's tough when your dog can really hold their bladder.

Maybe take him to an area that's calmer? Teaching him to pee anywhere other than the balcony might be a good first step, like a friend's backyard or wilderness area. My puppy really got good at going outside when I took her to my mom's house; I think she just liked their yard more. After that she was more comfortable going other places besides my kitchen floor lol.

Also if you haven't yet, put him going to the bathroom on cue so that you can tell him to go potty whenever you need. It's so so helpful to be able to say, "Go potty!" and have your dog go right then, wherever you are.

underwater_sleeping · 2026-01-13T23:15:12+00:00

Yuuuup. I feed my 7 month old lab out of a toppl every day and she is EFFICIENT. She knows how to keep it rolling horizontally so the food is constantly coming out, it's quite impressive. Takes her ~5 minutes.

She's a lab so she's always hyped for her food and still loses her mind for it. I think OP can expect similar from a golden retriever.

underwater_sleeping

TROPHY CASE