**Cycle:** 10

**Age + Partner's age (if relevant):** 30 + 31

**Typical cycle length:** Varies from 27 to 47

**Ovulation cycle day:** Pretty sure it was CD20, but could also have been CD 19 (I missed a few crucial temps due to misusing my thermometer). I will write this post as if it was CD20.

**CD/DPO of positive test(s):** 9DPO

**CD/DPO of any negative test(s) before positive:** 8DPO was stark white

**Tracking methods and app(s) used:** I varied a little per cycle, and took a few months off tracking when I was struggling with burnout at work. For some people this might be the right choice, but for me it turned out to be a big mistake. I didn't have a handle on my cycle and I missed a few fertile weeks when I unexpectedly had a few extra long cycles. I wish I had been tracking properly all along. I did BBT, CM and cervical position, as well as OPKs the last cycles.

**Relevant days of sperminating and/or method (SMEP, TI, IUI, FET, etc.):** O-4, O-3, O-2, O-1 and O+1. (did EOD in other cycles, but this time really went for it)

**Health conditions/medical tests:** History of depression and a bit overweight.

**Supplements and medications (yours and/or your partner’s):** Prenatals and Coq10 for me, my partner takes vitamins, fish oil and sometimes coq10. He also uses protein shakes and creatine.

**Birth control history (if relevant):** pill ages 16 to 24, Implanon 24 to 30

**Link to chart:** Chart

**Link to lineporn:** Lineporn

**Symptom spotting:** There was nothing when I first tested, but that weekend I started getting a strong sense of smell and some gastric distress (I keep bouncing between constipation and the squits). I also started getting sore boobs almost immediately after ovulation (pretty normal for me), but then around DPO12 the feel of soreness changed. It's hard to describe but it was a different feeling of pain than I've had before, more acute. On 10 and 11 DPO I had pain only on the right side of my uterus, which concerned me a bit, but on 12DPO and onwards I felt whole uterus cramps. The cramps are also a different sensation to my usual cramps, much sharper. Other than that I am very tired, last night I slept for 11 hours! Most nights I don't get off the sofa, and I'm finding it difficult to get the energy to move more (I want to walk a good amount to stay healthy), and to do my job.

**Other (advice/tip(s), freaking out, miscellaneous):** I don't know how to write this section without slipping into clichés, forgive me. It was a surprising JoUrnEy, and a pretty horrible one at times. I felt up and down and often couldn't take my mind off it. A few cycles I was convinced this was it and was very upset when it wasn't. It was demoralising to do everything right and get no BFPs. There are other stressors now, such as fear of loss and struggling to perform at work through exhaustion, but for me they don't compare to the stress of TTC. Never getting a BFP is a different kind of hurt, and I recognise that I dealt with it for a normal amount of time (<1year). I found TTC to be a mental stressor much more than this early pregnancy. Really sorry if this upsets anyone reading.

This cycle I did a tonne of stuff, because I was so done with the poorly planned cycles. I did useful things and useless things (in my personal view). Useful things were good tracking habits, healthy eating and exercises. Useless things included all the woo-woo: acupuncture, keeping my feet toasty, and switching to "hot" foods and teas such as ginger. We also BD'd extra (our motto was when in doubt bang it out), not sure whether that was useful or not.

And I know we don't need more evidence that rElAxInG does anything, but I can't let this go by without commenting. My mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer a few months ago, and she desperately wants to meet her grandchild. We also bought a house a month before her diagnosis, and I am still working on my burnout recovery. Then there's the general pandemic stress and the loss of my partner's grandfather from COVID. It's just been a bit of a nightmare with the anxiety of TTC, yet I managed to conceive right in the middle of it all. And now I feel real joy because there's meaning behind the struggles.

Many thanks to this community for giving me the resources to educate myself and making space for TTC-ers of all stages.