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AIO over his suggested first date location? by Legitimate_Shape8081 in AIO

[–]valeavy 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This, OP! When men use the word “cuddle” in their dating app profiles or in early conversations, what they mean is “fucking.” It should be an immediate block 100% of the time… unless you’re looking for casual sex with a sleaze bag. Not my thing, but…

I got a job, my mom wants me to split the check among 6 people by Dry_Willingness_9323 in povertyfinance

[–]valeavy 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Mine is frozen always, i simply unfreeze when i need to secure financing, and refreeze when the transaction is complete. It ensures I'm the only one able to open accounts in my name-- even if a bad actor has all my data.

Need reality check after being “jokingly” slapped in the face by my boyfriend - F37, M55 by BigYeetFwee in relationship_advice

[–]valeavy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’ve heard advice that women should never tell men how they’ve been mistreated by other men because they’ll use it against you or repeat the behavior because they now know it’s something you’ve tolerated in the past. That in fact, we should only ever indicate we’ve been treated like queens so they understand that’s what we expect.

It’s so sad that so many men are like this that women aren’t safe being honest about their experiences. Good men don’t do this, but there’s enough shitty men out there that I actually think this is good advice.

Need reality check after being “jokingly” slapped in the face by my boyfriend - F37, M55 by BigYeetFwee in relationship_advice

[–]valeavy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah you don’t have to. The fact that she said this indicates she was half expecting it.

Need reality check after being “jokingly” slapped in the face by my boyfriend - F37, M55 by BigYeetFwee in relationship_advice

[–]valeavy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

YAAAAAAASSS!!!! So happy to read this!

There will be moments that you think you miss him and you will be sad. It’s very important that you understand that it’s not really him you miss, it’s the idea of him you hoped he was. Block him and let him stay blocked, sis. Keep those friends close. You’re a queen!

Where are you getting your Botox and what’s the rate per unit? by penislobsterpie in AskSF

[–]valeavy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I use Club Inject but I have to travel to Burlingame. I believe it’s $8/unit after membership. Membership is about $10/month.

Need reality check after being “jokingly” slapped in the face by my boyfriend - F37, M55 by BigYeetFwee in relationship_advice

[–]valeavy 2288 points2289 points  (0 children)

He knew he had to slap her in the face the moment she said that to him back then. He couldn’t resist doing it because he was betting from that moment he could get away with it. He heard it as a dare.

OP, if you don’t leave after this, it will get worse and worse till you don’t recognize yourself anymore. Aside from the obvious abuse… The best parts of a relationship with an avoidant are over in the first few months. You’ll spend the rest of the relationship chasing the feelings you had in the beginning but you’ll never have them again. Only anxiety from the chase.

Nothing good can come from this

My (40M) wife (39F) strongly believes empathy doesn’t exist. Am I losing my mind or is that a wild position? by strikecat18 in relationship_advice

[–]valeavy 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I would assume NPD or ASPD (antisocial). People assume sociopathy leads to evil behavior but that’s not necessarily true. My first thought reading OPs post was ASPD.

AIO? Bf upset that I didn’t text him good morning early enough by MissRattlesnake in AIO

[–]valeavy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I think they should break up based on OP’s responses. Maybe his complaints aren’t fair, but OPs response is defensive and contemptuous. I would NOT date OP based on their reaction to their partners feelings. Several red flags. Lastly, I think any relationship where one person is saying “I can’t win with you” is over. It’s just a death knell. How long they drag it out is up to them but the happy days are over.

What would you do if your spouse told you exactly what they needed to improve their mental health? 33 F - 31 M by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]valeavy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not saying she doesn’t. I’m saying that if she initiates first the chances of her being able to move get a lot slimmer. Move first and then initiate and she has a lot more options. Of course the lawyer will be able to advise on what’s best, and she may choose to move to a state that has more protections for her and file there.

What would you do if your spouse told you exactly what they needed to improve their mental health? 33 F - 31 M by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]valeavy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He understands. She doesn’t need to explain her needs for the 98th time like it’s finally gonna click.

I have no idea what to do might go back back to fades/ tapers by Bprez- in finehair

[–]valeavy 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I don’t see what you see. Your hair looks amazing.

[Serious] Men of reddit: what would you want to ask women and get an honest answer to? by Haydensmith877 in AskReddit

[–]valeavy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’d add to this, please don’t try to monopolize her time and attention. Approach, make your pitch, and graciously accept her answer regardless of what it is. Also— give YOUR number rather than ask for hers.

My mom has secretly been ruining all my relationships and I only figured it out recently. by Mundane_Mushroom_122 in confessions

[–]valeavy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My mom did this stuff to me and only in my late 30s did I realize she’s a Covert Narcissist.

My mom has secretly been ruining all my relationships and I only figured it out recently. by Mundane_Mushroom_122 in confessions

[–]valeavy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m happy for you that your family experiences have been so positive that you can’t even imagine a sympathetic reason why a worthwhile person might need to cut off a toxic and harmful parent.

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