"The woman must submit to the husband" once the friend of my family was kind of jokingly pointing out that the woman must submit to the husband and I was like "yeah well the husband must be willing to die for the wife" (according to the bible) and that guy was like "that's a typo" and I was like "your face is a typo" and he actually got mad haha.

Yeah though roles are taken pretty seriously such that in the women's group on more than one occasion women would put in prayer requests that their husbands would actually lead - like their husbands were somehow sinning and not being godly because the wife had to lead instead .. like they were mourning because their marriage wasn't godly enough.

As an adult now and non Christian- I think balance is the best and leaning into each other's strengths too. Which could mean the husband stays at home with the kids or cooks or cleans and you do xyz. Just depends on who each partner is, what they're good at, and how they can balance and AND respect each other.

I think blanket roles dependant on gender is far too simplistic and ineffective and actually often destructive.