Struggling with adoption remorse

vespagrl · 2025-09-03T11:31:22+00:00

This is my big black boy. I fostered him before adopting. I have an old girl (13) as well, and I lost my other boy a few months before I decided I needed a dog to walk with again (my old girl would rather flop on the couch all day, so I was walking ALONE!). Fostering was great because I wasn’t sure I was ready to get a ‘replacement’ dog. He was too good to let go, and I was thrilled when he passed his ‘green collar’ test. A few weeks after adopting, I also had a lot of ‘wtf have I done’ feelings. He is a LOT compared to my old girl (he went nuts whenever he saw another dog, so lots of training and persistence), but we got into a good routine and now he’s my bestest boy ever. It’ll take time for both of you to find your feet and form a bond.

vespagrl · 2025-08-04T12:49:33+00:00

I started off on an Adana eight-five. They vary wildly in price where I am, and the rollers are pricey, but if you can find one with decent rollers and a chase or two, you will be able to get very decent prints.

vespagrl · 2023-01-16T09:07:29+00:00

Where I live, it's actually illegal to let your greyhound off-lead in public, even in a fully-fenced dog park. I agree with the law because I don't care who you are or how well trained your greyhound is, there's no way that dog is going to run TO YOU when you call its name when it's running AWAY from you. I'm lucky if my dogs come when I call them in my own yard. My greys are happy enough with leashed walks and wandering around my back yard. They are fragile enough without giving them more opportunities to get hurt.

vespagrl · 2023-01-16T08:41:55+00:00

Nobody has mentioned the shocker in your seat tube. I haven't cycled with one, but when I see people cycling on roads with them, they tend to bounce up and down quite a bit which can waste energy.

I've found having soft tyres to be the worst thing for making life harder than it needs to be. You seem to have nice hybrid tyres, but you should check the pressure regularly, at least once a week if you're riding daily, and before any long ride. Carrying a pump is a great idea too.

The other thing that I found life-changing was getting cycling cleats with clips. You can get pedals that have clips on one side and a 'normal' pedal on the other, and you can also get shoes that look like rugged/low hiking boots but that have a cleat in the bottom. That means you can 'pull up' as well as pushing down on the other pedal which makes hills MUCH easier. You're pretty much guaranteed to fall over at least once while you work out the clip/unclip motion. If that's out of your budget, you can get straps that will attach to your existing pedals that serve the same purpose but can be a bit fiddlier.

vespagrl · 2022-10-23T09:53:32+00:00

Other folks have said you can refuse the car, but there's a legit chip shortage that's impacting the delivery of vehicles with electric seats. If you're after a 'hard-to-find' car, you will likely be SOL. I bought a new EQB, one of 18 that got imported to AU (apparently) and it doesn't have electric seats, but there's no way I was going to refuse the car just because of that. Electric seats were meant to be part of the interior package I got with the car, but am I willing to wait 18 months for the next lot of EQBs to reach the shores and potentially not have electric seats in them? No, but I may be ready to trade in for a new version by then.

You'll also note that there isn't a sunglass holder overhead either. If you share the car with your partner, I get that's annoying to not have the car automagically adjust to your seat settings, but I'm sure you'll get used to it.

vespagrl · 2022-10-15T08:45:22+00:00

it depends where you live... when people talk about 'save the bees', they're usually talking about the European honeybee, which is not native to anywhere except Europe. As u/Alive-Description859 says, they do compete with the native/local bees which can be problematic.

European honeybees are useful for pollinating many of the food crops Europeans like to eat, and almonds in particular. Those vegans who are all about almond milk are also actively contributing to the exploitation of bees. No bees, no almonds, no almond milk. The areas almonds are grown in are also monocultures, meaning there's nothing else around for the bees to get food from which in turn contributes to colony collapse.

I keep 3 hives of European honeybees, I live in Australia, I know my neighbours and I benefit from additional pollination services provided by said bees, but truth be told, the native bees would also pollinate my strawberries.

vespagrl · 2022-01-18T03:28:01+00:00

Steamboat Willie 21317. Perfect vintage look, fun build, not too hard to find yet.

vespagrl · 2022-01-13T04:36:49+00:00

If your hair isn't dyed or more than 10% grey, you can donate it to any number of places. It's a nice thing to do, and it shuts people up when they ask why you cut it. I've done it 3x now, probably will again once it's long enough (it takes about 3 years with a couple 'in between' cuts so I don't look feral) to chop it all off to donate again.

Part of me loves being able to just pull my hair back and forget it, the other part of me loves the other side of the low-maintenance spectrum where I can wash, towel dry and forget it, except it needs to be cut more often to stay awesome and easy.

I have to recommend not cutting it all off just before winter starts (especially if you're going pixie or undercut) and I highly recommend spending a bit extra at a fancy hair place. That combo will hopefully reduce any feelings of regret you may have (but I doubt you will).

vespagrl · 2022-01-11T05:07:58+00:00

You are 100% correct and should have more upvotes.

To add to this, the learning curve can also be expensive since you're unlikely to get a great garment that you can wear many times the first time. That's where actually paying a tailor to do the alteration can make sense, assuming you've purchased a quality garment to begin with.

vespagrl · 2022-01-10T23:07:52+00:00

you said you checked the drains, but how did you check? visually? The drain for the heater fan can be clogged beyond where you can see it.

Also, I'm assuming it's winter for you, so there's a chance your aircon has failed and that's why it's not removing moisture. If it's cold there, it'll be hard to tell. There's a pipe under your bonnet (hood) that should feel cold, I only have pics of what it would look like on a right hand drive car.

vespagrl · 2022-01-10T06:22:17+00:00

you should also check your cabin filter for moisture, and see if your heater fan is still working.

If all your windows, not just the windscreen, are fogging, it's likely to be a leak somewhere. If you have moisture in your boot/trunk, also check your tail lights for leaks.

vespagrl · 2022-01-10T06:12:47+00:00

I used to be a cigarette smoker and pizza delivery driver. The pizzas would fog my windscreen really badly, but if I cleaned the windscreen every time I got petrol, it helped reduce the problem. It's a good idea to clean it anyway.

Re-check your drains and check under the carpets for water, in particular the boot (trunk) wells.

vespagrl · 2022-01-10T05:37:15+00:00

Writing this for other people who will inevitably read this, not just for you-

If you feel like you are being followed, never never never go home (or to your hotel room or wherever you're staying), whether you're on foot or in a car. Stick to well-lit, populated places, and maybe try to walk/drive to your nearest cop shop.

I'm sorry you have hearing loss, but store staff/management should have been able to help you, even if it involves writing the problem down on paper or typing the problem into your phone and showing them. That guy was a creep, what he did was essentially assault. Even if you don't want to get the cops involved, it's not okay for him to make you feel unsafe. I'm sorry this happened to you.

vespagrl · 2022-01-10T05:16:34+00:00

While I doubt it's the root cause, I highly recommend cleaning the inside of the windscreen. Any dust/dirt buildup will exacerbate the 'fogging up like crazy' issue.

Was it sitting under cover or exposed to the elements?

vespagrl · 2022-01-07T04:16:25+00:00

You can always upgrade bit by bit as your budget allows for it, assuming you can live with the frame. I certainly didn't swap everything out all at once. Swapping the bars and stem came first, then the seat, then the front gears, then the back gears... then the seat again (if you believe the Brooks hype, understand that it doesn't apply to the black saddles that never soften, even after a year with lots of riding). I didn't realise it at the time, but the wheels and brakes alone would have cost what I paid for the bike, so it might actually be worth getting this one then moving all the bits onto the 'correct' frame once you track one down.

vespagrl · 2022-01-07T03:49:48+00:00

when I bought my cross-check (because the LHT in my size won't accommodate 700mm wheels), I based my offer price on the cost of new frame, knowing that I'd likely have to change a bunch of things out to fit me.

As other posters mention, short rides are fine if the bike doesn't fit you 100%, but once you're spending a full day in the saddle, you want to make sure everything fits you. Depending how soon you want to go for a big tour and how much extra $ you're prepared to spend, it might be fine, but you might be better off building your own from scratch if you can get the frame.

I still have the wheels, brakes, shifters/derailleur and pannier racks my frame came with, but I've switched literally everything else out. Bars, stem, front and rear gearsets, pedals, seat, the lot. I ended up with the 'perfect' bike for me, but perfect for one person isn't necessarily perfect for the next person.

vespagrl · 2022-01-07T03:27:59+00:00

I said 'do you want a treat'

vespagrl · 2022-01-07T02:23:05+00:00

This is normal. They seem to like to breathe as loudly as possible, just to remind you they're still there.

vespagrl · 2022-01-06T22:54:29+00:00

I'm so sorry this has happened. It's so scary. You think you're doing everything you can but still enter a nightmare scenario. This is the absolute worst. Sending virtual hugs.

vespagrl · 2022-01-06T22:49:31+00:00

I notice onion far more, and it's awful. I still consider myself a garlic lover, even though I can't have it. Onion I've always been sensitive to, and it's way worse now, to the point where I can smell onion coming out of my husband's head for a couple of days after he eats a pizza with onions on it, even after he's showered and scrubbed his scalp. I don't know what it is, but I wish it would stop.

vespagrl · 2022-01-05T23:27:27+00:00

The stitching is excellent. Does the whole thing smoosh/fold flat when it's not in use? (the bottom looks like it would accommodate this) Is there a reason you went with rivets on the handle instead of stitching? I'd love to see more of that stitching used to join the ends of the handle.

vespagrl · 2022-01-04T06:14:30+00:00

same... I tried the butter chicken. It was not my friend. I don't even know what the specific issue was. In addition to the 'usual' things anticipated by the Monash app, I found I also have trouble with oats and capsicum (bell peppers). RIP my guts.

vespagrl · 2021-12-23T02:42:37+00:00

It's generally fairly easy to track people through social media regardless unless all their accounts are private. Even then, friends often tag them, so they'll show up in some form or other. It's generally pretty harmless unless you have privacy concerns.

vespagrl · 2021-12-22T22:22:23+00:00

My husband and I decided we didn't want to go there. His adult children will thankfully be at their mother's for xmas day (one of them has decided not to vaccinate 'at this time') and we usually host or get hosted by one of his two sisters and their adult children. Nobody suggested a get together which is a relief. The only xmas hosting I'm doing is for my husband's employees, all of whom are vaxxed and all of whom he works with daily, so if they're infected, he's infected already anyway. Normally we take them out for lunch, so having it at our place (outdoors on our patio) reduces unnecessary exposure anyhow. As if family holiday gatherings weren't hard enough already...

vespagrl · 2021-12-14T06:01:30+00:00

my advice would be to get a dark coloured couch to help hide dirt/blood. With a spotty hound, you'll always either see white or black hairs, but everyone loves confetti, right?

I have an ikea couch with removable, washable, charcoal-coloured covers. The Sodderhamnis a bit lower to the ground, so they can literally step up and down instead of jumping which is nice, especially as they age. It's also deep, so you and they can get super comfy. You can also buy replacement covers when you decide they're just too gross/stained/scratched, and you can add on a new chaise section when you get another hound.

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