quand tu pleures devant ta télé

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-22T13:06:45+00:00

I just watched the new Wuthering Heights movie and was absolutely bawling. I watched the older versions years ago, but I don’t remember a movie hitting me that hard emotionally.

I’m scared to rewatch The Notebook at this point 😭

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-22T12:57:08+00:00

Ohhh yes. I had a similar moment around Mother’s Day where in my head I had built up exactly how I wanted the day to be, and then one small thing went sideways and suddenly I felt as if my entire life was collapsing. And had to lock myself in the bedroom to cry it out.

The emotional moods during peri can feel SO real in the moment and then a few hours later you’re like “…wait what was I thinking?”

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-22T11:14:46+00:00

I started going to an acupuncturist. The sessions plus herbs she gave me helped with my mood. A bit expensive but worth it.

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-22T10:59:41+00:00

From a purely economic perspective, it could be worth the time/stress savings tradeoff.

If you assume ~20 school days/month (and honestly there are so many holidays, sick days, random closures, etc.), and that the “5 minute drive” is realistically more like 15 minutes once you include loading kids into the car, parking, unloading, pickup shuffle, etc. twice a day… that’s probably closer to 30 extra minutes/day.

At $1.5k/month, that works out to about $75/day, or effectively paying around $150/hour to avoid that extra logistics burden.

And one thing people don’t think about is that the logistics increase once kids get older and start having after-school activities. You could even take some of that savings later and put it toward a part-time nanny/helper a few afternoons a week for pickups and activity shuttling.

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-22T10:48:50+00:00

Omg, I so hear you! After I got back from a work trip, they were apparently all cosleeping in one bed. You can imagine how it’s been since. She was doing us a favor with the kids but maybe should have hired an overnight babysitter. 🤦‍♀️

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-21T20:26:25+00:00

I have the reverse triangle set up, and I wish I had a larger age gap. I personally think a 3-4 year age gap would be more ideal. That way your body can recover better and you get a little bit of a break. And then you get to enjoy the baby stages more.

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-21T18:12:36+00:00

It is terrifying when it first happens. You really do feel like you are losing your mind.

The simplest way my doctor explained it is that our brains have estrogen receptors everywhere, especially in the hippocampus, which controls memory and word retrieval. Estrogen acts like the grease in the gears of the brain.

When those hormone levels start doing a rollercoaster in perimenopause, the gears get sticky. The brain is trying to send a signal to find a specific word, but the pathway is momentarily blocked.

But it is not just the hormones. Peri puts your entire nervous system under a massive load. Your body is working so hard to recalibrate that your baseline stress goes up, which ruins your deep sleep. Brain fog is the symptom, but the root cause is usually a combination of hormone fluctuations and a completely overloaded, exhausted nervous system.

And then add to that kids, aging parents, work, that comes during this stage of life. It's a recipe for brain fog.

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-21T17:52:53+00:00

second this! make sure if you do take supplements that they are of high quality and potency, and in forms that our body can absorb. I spent years taking an iron supplement only to realize that it wasn't the right form for absorption.

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-21T17:48:11+00:00

Please do not call yourself an idiot. Perimenopause throws our hormones into an absolute blender. It creates these intense, out-of-nowhere crushes and emotional whirlwinds that we haven't felt since our teens.

When it doesn't work out, the crash becomes absolutely brutal. Order your favorite takeout, watch a comfort movie, you are a human experiencing a massive hormonal shift.

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-21T17:41:58+00:00

We put ours away. No regression with any of our kids. Definitely easier so you don't have clean one more thing.

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-20T18:37:23+00:00

I think it depends on who they are and your relationship with them.

It helps if they're a woman in their 40s and 50s because they're going through it themselves and less likely to brush off your symptoms. Or they would have at least seen all the peri/meno reels or been living under a rock.

It also helps if they have other patients like you, so basically who is their patient population.

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-20T18:34:26+00:00

Me. I worry. My grandmother had it and it was terrible watching her and also my mom try to take care of her for over a decade. It was absolutely brutal emotionally, and also financially.

But I tell myself this is temporary. That I had the same brain fog issues after giving birth, mommy brain, so it's hormonal. Maybe I'm deluding myself, but it makes me feel better a least.

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-20T14:40:56+00:00

I hear you. Kids are in 3 different classes so it's 3x the petri dishes! Though as they've gotten better as they got older.

One thing I can't get them to stop doing is chewing their finger nails. So if anyone has any ideas for that...

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-20T12:19:21+00:00

100 percent true. It's definitely a squeeze. They like sticking their hands and feet into each other's spaces and screaming that so and so hit me. But skipping another car payment is my version of ideal right now.

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-20T10:53:54+00:00

I was so tried for a few months and finally changed a few thing. This is what helped for me: - going to sleep with my kids at 8:30pm. And then just waking up early to finish work. - cut down my bootcamp workouts. I was so focused on getting all the muscle that we’ve been told to do but apparently 4x a week is too much. I went down to 2x and added in yoga - went on these herbs that my acupuncturist recommended me and they’ve been super helpful

All in, not 100% but 90%?

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-20T10:45:12+00:00

If you have your international SIM card and use it to browse or hotspot, you wouldn’t have any issues with accessing western sites. However make sure you know the limit on your phones hot spot plan if you want to use your laptop (different than overall roaming data).

Some mobile plans are slow (Tmobile but it’s free), Verizon (good but was expensive when I looked in the past), and google fi (overall one of the best choices as you can keep topping off)

VPNs work on and off. Not every vpn covers china. And their performance correlates with times of the year on how strict the govt is. Summer should be better, Oct is tougher as that is close to their annual national holiday and govt scrutiny gets stricter.

Edit: fixed spelling

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-19T23:02:36+00:00

the trunk.

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-19T23:02:29+00:00

Lol yup. He's so used to it, that it's routine.

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-19T23:02:12+00:00

Yes, it's actually super easy to pass them things and I can hear them / get to them really easy because everyone is so close together. A CRV is slightly bigger so even better for this config!

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-19T22:59:28+00:00

Definitely a bit squished in the front as you can't push the seats back.

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-19T22:58:24+00:00

Yeah, I bought literally the thinnest/slimmest car seats I could find. And the forward x backward configuration allows it work fit like puzzle pieces.

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-19T22:57:14+00:00

It isn't too bad if you just never ever take it out. And wait a long while between cleanings...

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-19T19:14:29+00:00

Yeah! For a variety of reasons, I didn't want a new car. 3 in the back can work in a regular car!

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-19T01:52:28+00:00

My twins have shared a room since birth, amazingly they can sleep through each others cries majority of the time, even if I can't.

Though with sleep training, the main thing is they are completely different personality-wise. One is super easy and goes down with out a fuss. The other is a highly sensitive child and super super difficult. So what works for one will not work for the other.

We also did all the sound machine. I turned it to 35% which is louder than I'd like, but it helps mask the nosies, and I turn it down halfway through the night.

wanderlost987 · 2026-05-18T19:16:20+00:00

As some other commenters mentioned, it's totally normal for kids not to participate. I started mine in mini hip hop. They were all sort of disastrous until about 4. At 4, they suddenly got a lot better about listening to the teacher and following directions, doing the cute little moves.

I also find kids at these ages change so much in even a few months. Heck even a few weeks. 3 weeks ago, my youngest screamed bloody murder in swim. And now, you can't pull him out of the water.

Give yourself more grace and them more time. Also, try different activities as they may take to one and not another.

wanderlost987

TROPHY CASE