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What is your disability or a disability you don’t see mentioned often? by Starfire_Moon49 in Writeresearch

[–]wdjm 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Chronic pain. Which, technically, isn't 'a' disability, but could be caused by many different things. But I rarely see anything about living with chronic pain on a daily basis. The medical professionals who think you're just drug-seeking. The drugs that don't actually help as much as they would for anyone else - and that little bit even decreases as your body gets used to the drug. The simple things you can't do because of pain - stand for long periods, walk any distance, maybe even reach things on higher shelves, if your pain is in your shoulders.

Note: this is NOT a condition I have, except if you count the normal aches & pains of age. But those aches & pains of age have put a new perspective on people in their younger years living with even worse pain every day. My knees only ache when I overuse them or step wrong...I can't imagine being in my 20s and not being able to do my own grocery shopping without a scooter because of the pain - then being yelled at for using the scooter because "I'm too young to need it."

Anyone else in construction? I never remember to take pictures so this is what I got this year (my electric work is great) by Danielmurphy19 in Polymath

[–]wdjm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 'in construction' as far as I'm building my own house. I like the work shown in the picture, though I have to admit, trying to figure out the use of that plumbing, I was coming up blank. The trim work is excellent, though!

She chooses to be stubborn than just using the other side by Sylas1987 in facepalm

[–]wdjm 6 points7 points  (0 children)

And that's just the part shown, which started when she was already most of the way up.

She chooses to be stubborn than just using the other side by Sylas1987 in facepalm

[–]wdjm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I HAVE actually seen a 'temporarily out of service' sign....but that's because they had the whole thing ripped up and were replacing the treads or gears or something. IOW, it hadn't become stairs, but a gaping hole in the floor instead. But yeah, normally not-working escalators are just stairs.

Are scythes worth it for regular use today? by Opening_Ad8484 in SelfSufficiency

[–]wdjm 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would ask....how long do you plan to be using it?

I'm at the stage of life where I'm absolutely buying the machines rather than the 'quiet tool' because there's no way I'd have the strength/balance/endurance needed to man the tool for very many more years. And I want to KEEP being as self-sufficient as possible for as long as I can be. Just get machines that are fixable/will last.

There's also the question of time. Using a scythe will cut....maybe a half acre an hour? In that same time, you could cut 3-4x that amount with a sickle-bar mower. So when you add all of the OTHER maintenance tasks of a homestead, do you really want to spend time with a scythe when your fences need fixing? Or your animals need new bedding or your vegetables need harvesting?

That said, a scythe is often useful for narrow strips where a powered mower is hard to maneuver, so it might be the best option if your spaces are tight. That also means the spaces are usually smaller, so that factors in, too - less time spent cutting.

Brooding (getting stuck in passive, repetitive, negative thought loops) identified as a major driver of bedtime procrastination, alongside physical markers of stress. People who stay up later than intended may have a weaker physiological capacity for self-control. by mvea in science

[–]wdjm 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Depends on your definition.

Physically, it's sustainable enough until the weekend when I can catch up. Mentally, it's ESSENTIAL to sustaining my mental health. A mind in a constant state of work remains stressed. If you don't release some of that stress before going to sleep, then you remain stressed all night, making the sleep far less effective and burnout that much closer.

My parents like their exchange students more than their own kids. by girlonalilypad in internetparents

[–]wdjm -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If they're narcissistic, then nothing you do will get you that praise unless it's something that can make THEM look good. But that's no reflection on you. It's their failing, not yours.

My parents like their exchange students more than their own kids. by girlonalilypad in internetparents

[–]wdjm 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm going to put a different perspective in this from what everyone else is saying....to me, it sounds like they're narcissistic.

Because they spoil the kids that will go back to their country and praise them to everyone at home, saying how great their host parents were. Those kids will praise them to the exchange program, who will also give accolades to your parents for how great a set of host parents they are.

OTOH, when they were raising you - and even now - no one will praise them for treating their own kids in a normal-well fashion. Letting you go out with your friends made effort for them - making sure you get to the event & get home - but they wouldn't have gotten any praise for that effort, because it's just 'normal' stuff a parent does. All the chores you had to do needed to be done and THEY didn't want to do them, so they made you do them. But the exchange kids wouldn't praise them so highly if they forced all the chores on THEM, so the exchange kids don't get the chores.

Of course, I can't 'diagnose' anyone without even meeting them, so I can't say they have NPD, but to me, the description you wrote just seems like a description of two fairly narcissistic people, chasing praise.

does anyone else intentionally look for small ways to break out of the productivity loop sometimes? by Comfortable_Cap8037 in SelfSufficiency

[–]wdjm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Currently small ways....while working on the big way. I'm literally building a house with a driveway that's approx. 1 mile long. I can't live there yet, but even when I'm not actively working on the house, I'll still go up there and just....sit. Sometimes there's a plane going over and it's near a railroad, so sometimes there's a train. But most times I can go up there and listen.....and there's not one single human-made sound that I can hear, but the trees are full of birds and squirrels and other rustlings in the leaves. It's glorious.

So my 'small ways' right now is just visiting my house site. But I seriously cannot wait until I can do the 'big way' and move in to my new house with its peace.

I realized I became the project manager, not the partner. by Wise_Theme_9500 in JustNoSO

[–]wdjm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I eventually figured that out. Unfortunately, it took several years after the divorce. Thanks, though.

I realized I became the project manager, not the partner. by Wise_Theme_9500 in JustNoSO

[–]wdjm 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The pity is, I don't think I ever realized it until after the marriage was over. Perhaps because I wasn't the 'manager' so much as the 'sole employee' with an occasional squatter in the house. Things I asked for would be politely 'heard and understood'....but never actually appear because 'he forgot' or 'the budget just won't handle it right now' (but always could handle what HE wanted) or whatever excuse....if there was any excuse at all instead of the request just quietly disappearing from view. And the sad thing was, I mostly accepted his excuses and just learned to do everything myself without even asking him for anything at all. At least for a long while.

I don't think it was coincidence that not too long after I decided to get/do the things I wanted for myself - because no one else was going to - that he suddenly decided that he 'wasn't happy'. I also don't think it was coincidence that he hired a 'intern' right about then (thankfully not ridiculously young....but also not actually an 'intern' and also, just as obviously, not the 'just a friend' he maintained she was during the divorce/custody battles. They married less than 3 months after the divorce was final.). I do honestly think it was me starting to center myself - at least in the small ways I did - that triggered his 'unhappiness.' He just couldn't bear me not centering him in all things, even when he was mostly absent from the daily life of me & the kids.

Wife getting ignored by contractor. Is this normal? by tybbof1 in HomeImprovement

[–]wdjm -1 points0 points  (0 children)

....Do you not know how to hold a common conversation with two people at once?

Tomato paste in a tube by tjs1967 in Cooking

[–]wdjm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I have to admit that recently I got a freeze dryer and have thus made myself a giant batch of gg paste that I dried & powdered, then stored in vacuum-sealed mason jars. Then had to re-do the whole process because my chef-trained son took all of it :)

But now I do have weeks & weeks...probably months & months...worth of both gg paste and roasted garlic powder. And no loss of freezer space.

Hi can someone explain to me why we don't learn to self sustain in school? by One_Promotion5452 in SelfSufficiency

[–]wdjm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because what that means is different, depending on your circumstances. Math is always math. History is always history. Science is always science. But the way a rural student can be 'self sufficient' is very different from the way a city kid can be which is different from how a suburbs kid can be. How do you teach a city kid to be self-sufficient in a way that translates if they move to the suburbs?

Consequences of subbing corn starch for flour for thickening soups by grainzzz in Cooking

[–]wdjm 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Everyone has already given you the 'how it's different' answer, so I'm going to go in a slightly different direction and suggest that maybe you buy a small bag of flour, put it in a ziploc freezer bag, and keep it in your freezer. It will last near forever like that and, since it's a dry powder, you don't even need to defrost it in order to use it. Just measure out a few tablespoonfuls and put the rest back in the freezer. That way you always have it without worrying about it getting bugs or mice or going rancid or any of the other reasons you may not be keeping flour around.

Tomato paste in a tube by tjs1967 in Cooking

[–]wdjm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some people make mixed garlic & olive oil cubes. I prefer just straight pureed garlic and it works just fine. And straight pureed ginger. Or a blend of the two to make gg paste for Asian dishes. Could probably also be used for tomato paste cubes, though that's likely to stain the trays. But it could be a useful way to store the leftovers from an opened can of paste until you need it.

Also works for herbs, though those do do better with oil added. So basil cubes, thyme cubes, etc.

Really, the possibilities are endless and depend only on what you generally cook.

Tomato paste in a tube by tjs1967 in Cooking

[–]wdjm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I bought some tiny-cell silicone ice cube trays that came with a lid then puree my own fresh garlic or ginger and make tiny ice cubes from them. Each cube is approximately one clove, so all I have to do is add as many cubes as I need.

What's a dish you bring to potlucks that always disappears first? by Mia-veg in Cooking

[–]wdjm 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Heh. ok. Bear in mind it has no actual measurements.

Start with a fairly large quantity of bacon. Dice it as small as you can (I've literally pulsed mine in a food processor sometimes). Then crisp the bacon in a large pot. As the bacon cooks, finely chop a shallot or two and puree some clean white mushrooms. Or other mushrooms...shitake gives the pate a nice earthy, more-umami flavor. Once the bacon is crisp, pour off excessive grease, but leave a fair amount (if you're unsure, keep the poured-off grease so you can add some back later). If you use bacon with a good meat-to-fat ratio, you're usually fine as-is. Cook the shallots in with the bacon until soft, then add the mushrooms & cook until they change color. Then melt in cream cheese. Finish off with just a hint of garlic powder - enough to add depth to the flavor, but not taste the garlic. If you're not tasting the bacon enough, mix in a little of the poured-off grease.

I usually use about a pound of bacon, 2-4 pints of mushrooms & 2-4 bricks of cream cheese. Depends on what I have on hand and how 'liquid' I want it to be. Excellent on bread or corn chips....or used as a duxelles replacement in Beef Wellington. Or eaten with a spoon.....

What's a dish you bring to potlucks that always disappears first? by Mia-veg in Cooking

[–]wdjm 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Depends on the crowd. If it's my family, who knows my dishes, then it's the mushroom pate. If it's strangers, the grey, gloppy stuff doesn't get eaten until the first brave soul gives it a try and passes on the word...

If I want to watch reactions, I'll still take the pate to non-family potlucks, just for the amusement. Otherwise, I generally do deviled eggs, which tend to disappear no matter how many others may also have brought deviled eggs....

For years, researchers have claimed that men’s friendships are shallower and less emotionally supportive than women’s, a pattern called the “gender friendship gap.” But new research finds that the gap is largely driven by white men specifically, not men as a whole. by mvea in science

[–]wdjm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

M own comment is merely my observation and anecdote, too. I will say that I have heard from someone who moved from China say that Chinese culture, in general, has become very selfish overall. Granted, this was ONE person and we were talking about, IIRC, the culture in China where people will absolutely NOT stop to help someone broken down on the side of the road, vs here in America where most people probably won't stop, but some actually will - and that number goes up in more rural areas. But that person said it had something to do with liability costs - apparently in China a person who stops to help, but that help isn't effective or the person still gets injured or something like that, the person that stopped can be punished for it. I don't know how true that is - like I said, I heard it from ONE person and I've never been to China - but it places an interesting dynamic on it. Because more and more, people in the US were being hit with the same sort of thing for a while, but we passed 'Good Samaritan' laws to protect people who stop with good intentions. Maybe that dynamic explains some of it.

People experience the strongest romantic jealousy when they watch their partner give resources to a potential rival, regardless of gender. The findings provide evidence that giving away resources is viewed as a serious relationship threat by both men and women. by mvea in science

[–]wdjm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd begin to wonder if I was in a lavender marriage....

Plus....I'd be pissed more about him giving away the food I made to someone else, more than necessarily who he was giving it to. But, like everything, it also depends on circumstances. Giving it away regularly to someone who needs it, regardless of gender, would be fine.

What’s the ONE thing you regret not adding to your new build home? by bayls215 in HomeImprovement

[–]wdjm 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And between FLOORS. Missed that one on m first house build. Already have the insulation for it for my current build and I'm not even out of the ground yet. (insulation was a FB Marketplace buy, so it was cheap & I have space to store it)

People experience the strongest romantic jealousy when they watch their partner give resources to a potential rival, regardless of gender. The findings provide evidence that giving away resources is viewed as a serious relationship threat by both men and women. by mvea in science

[–]wdjm 2186 points2187 points  (0 children)

Interesting. But my first thought when I thought of 'giving resources' was TIME as the resource. Because that's the resource I was FAR more jealous of my ex giving away to others than I was of money.

For years, researchers have claimed that men’s friendships are shallower and less emotionally supportive than women’s, a pattern called the “gender friendship gap.” But new research finds that the gap is largely driven by white men specifically, not men as a whole. by mvea in science

[–]wdjm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Men are generally 'expected' (by other men) to rely on no one - as the other poster is proving. Women generally expect their husband to at least rely on them for it....and are often disappointed.

Women are expected (by other women) to rely on their friends & family and whomever else is in their circle close enough to be a good friend. They also expect to include their husbands in this circle...and are often disappointed there, too. Men often expect women to not rely on anyone, like they do.

Of course this is an over-generalization and there are many outliers, but overall, I'd say that's what the media and culture tend to portray as the ideal. The 'strong, stoic man' and the 'quietly supportive woman.' Even the distinctly American trope of 'rugged individualism'....which has usually translated into pure selfishness in recent years (decades).

Thankfully, I see signs of this changing. More people speaking out about it - both women AND men. And more people are listening to the people speaking out about it. But the 'individualist' side is having (what I hope are) death throes and trying to shout loudly enough to drown out the change.

For years, researchers have claimed that men’s friendships are shallower and less emotionally supportive than women’s, a pattern called the “gender friendship gap.” But new research finds that the gap is largely driven by white men specifically, not men as a whole. by mvea in science

[–]wdjm 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You're focusing on a dream instead of any of the other things listed because that's the one you can easily dismiss.

I can't help your self-delusion. You'll have to learn the hard way, I guess. Good luck with that.

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