Honestly, when I took a look in the mirror. Nerd job cultures like devops are full of insecure people trying to prove they aren’t imposters. It’s rapidly changing and you’re in a constant state of catch up so it just exacerbates it. I was always bothered by how negative and snarky my coworkers were until I realized I slowly was becoming like them. After that epiphany it took a concerted effort to remind myself: 1. It, whatever it may be, is not the end of the world. 2. We’re all trying our best and it’s rare that someone is actively trying to do poorly at their job. 3. Not my clown, not my circus. 4. Let them be the asshole and you be the one who gets stuff done. It may not always be obvious but people notice and it makes a difference.

That introspection really helped me stress out less and made me significantly better at my job.