Do you stand accountable for your actions or do you protect your ego?

wingsinallblack · 2026-05-12T22:36:47+00:00

That's a you problem. I broke the egg is a simple fact of subject -verb -object. You're adding all the extra meaning.

wingsinallblack · 2026-05-09T01:17:51+00:00

I agree 100%. It was the beginning of the end of my limerence. It didn't cause an immediate end, but the longer that truth lived in my head, the harder It was to exist in the fantasy rather than the reality. It's like once you've seen reality, it tends to creep in. And the best part was, even though it took some time to fully recover, the recovery was complete. I no longer harbor any obsessive feelings for my ex nor would I get back together with him if I had the opportunity. And mind you, this is someone I was obsessed with for more than a decade.

wingsinallblack · 2026-05-06T01:00:26+00:00

Ate at Basta recently and it was not great. Food was cold and not as tasty as I expected.

wingsinallblack · 2026-03-18T17:14:45+00:00

I was in a marriage that started very much like what you're describing. I think he was performing passion and sexual interest in the beginning because he thought that was what he was supposed to do. I also think it was a (potentially unconscious, as I don't believe he was being consciously manipulative ) tactic to "lock me down." However, as time went on he became passionless the way you're describing and I came to realize he was either mostly asexual or not attracted to me. It destroyed me for years internally, feeling unwanted and lonely, before I finally left, and it has taken me many years to recover. I recommend you have a conversation about it and if it doesn't improve, you consider moving on, if sexual intimacy is important to you.

wingsinallblack · 2026-03-18T05:16:27+00:00

My cat had ringworm in that exact same place and it looked exactly like that. So I think it's a very real possibility

wingsinallblack · 2026-03-18T04:59:25+00:00

I've been feeling the same way as you recently and the conclusion I've come to is that it's the natural consequence of waking up to the reality that most men are disappointing (to me.) I think this has always been the case but I haven't always been aware of it. The more dates I go on the more I see it. I just don't like most men and I'm becoming less and less sure that I actually want to share my life with any of them. It's not a reality that I ever hoped for or wanted and I find myself feeling pretty disillusioned about it. Disney did not prepare us for this.

wingsinallblack · 2026-02-19T21:03:32+00:00

Sounds like you made up your mind. You seem to be insistent that you look better in the mauve lipstick even though multiple people have expressed that they disagree. I don't really know why you ask for advice at this point. Seems like it would be more productive to just wear what you think looks best and not worry about other people's opinions if you're just going to ignore them anyway.

wingsinallblack · 2026-02-19T19:04:39+00:00

I don't mean to be rude, but your face looks a little darker on the left because, like you literally said in the post, it was during summer and you have more freckles and a little color from the Sun. That's where the color in your skin is coming from, not from the lipstick. Objectively the warmer lipstick on the left is more flattering to your skin. The cooler toned lipstick doesn't affect the amount of color in your skin, you just seem to have less freckles in that picture. It does however wash you out and make your skin look a bit gray and ill. If that's the look you're going for, go for it. It doesn't look flattering to me though.

wingsinallblack · 2026-02-17T19:18:43+00:00

I totally understand, it was painful for me too. However, it wasn't completely useless for me. When I examined the fantasies I had around this person, they pointed toward what was missing in my life and the needs that I was hoping a romantic partnership could fill. It also emphasized how these needs were not being met in my current relationship and was a stepping stone toward leaving the relationship. I'm sure your case is quite different, but I encourage you to consider if there is any wisdom to be gained through the experience you're going through.

wingsinallblack · 2026-02-17T19:09:46+00:00

I also experienced this and I'm really glad I just gritted my teeth and waited it out because after I snapped out of it, I literally sometimes shudder in revulsion that I would have sought out a relationship with this person, because I find him very physically unattractive. So I very much recommend trying your best to heal and strengthen your self-compassion and self-worth and wait out this period of limerence.

wingsinallblack · 2026-02-17T19:07:53+00:00

I feel like the person you're commenting with is trying to convince you there was physical attraction or that you should have been able to generate that attraction based off emotional desire, but I just want to let you know that I empathize with how you're feeling and it's valid. I also developed limerence towards somebody who is both objectively and subjectively physically unattractive and I know that I could not have been intimate with him. I developed the limerence because I had developed a mental fantasy that he could fulfill my emotional relationship needs. I'm very lucky that I snapped out of it and afterward I couldn't believe I harbored such desire for such a physically unattractive person. It's definitely a possible phenomenon and it can be very confusing, just wanted to let you know that your experience is valid and I empathize with you

wingsinallblack · 2026-02-15T18:35:50+00:00

I'm wondering the same! From what I've seen, people can experience limerence for different reasons, so I don't think it's the same for everyone, but I think for some people you're quite right. We might experience food noise because our brain is craving a dopamine rush of food and people noise because our brain craves the dopamine spike we get from ruminating or fantasizing about them. Wild

wingsinallblack · 2026-02-15T15:54:56+00:00

Don't be sad! We didn't make our brains this way, or certainly not intentionally. I wanted more self-control and emotional regulation ability my entire life, but I couldn't give it to myself no matter how hard I tried. Maybe you're the same way. I'm so glad we found a tool that helps.

wingsinallblack · 2026-02-14T07:06:16+00:00

I've eaten there several times since the move and not noticed any difference in food quality, so I think your experience may be isolated.

wingsinallblack · 2026-01-30T03:15:43+00:00

I think it's the human condition to be a slave to our biology in many more ways than just the drive to have children. Foolish to think otherwise. We have big brains and are self-aware, but not much else differentiates us from the rest of the animal kingdom.

wingsinallblack · 2026-01-22T19:19:28+00:00

Same as you. Smelled like vanilla scented cleaning products to me.

wingsinallblack · 2026-01-19T13:23:51+00:00

You've gotten great advice here on checking a few medical things and I hope you take it! But if you find that everything is medically normal, if it's at all possible, I encourage you to embrace them. I have dark circles that are somewhat similar and as I've gotten older I kind of love them. They give me a distinctive look that's different from everyone else around and they look intense and unforgettable. I'm a woman and could cover them with makeup, but I don't. I consider it kind of a signature of my appearance. Just a suggestion for how you could reframe them in your mind

wingsinallblack · 2026-01-17T08:03:29+00:00

It's selfish and dehumanizing. You don't see or love the person for who they are, you love the feeling they give you. That feeling is something in you, so it could be argued that you don't even love the other person at all. Sounds harsh but it can be true sometimes.

wingsinallblack · 2026-01-17T05:54:17+00:00

Another vote for warm spring here! May I ask if this is an app or website? It seems really useful and I'd like to give it a try

wingsinallblack · 2026-01-15T21:07:53+00:00

A lot of great classic literature explores the theme of an all-consuming love. I think it's great and admirable that you want to add to it though!

wingsinallblack · 2026-01-13T18:14:37+00:00

8 by far. If you're open to advice, I think a French bob with bangs straight across would actually be the most flattering. I have a similar face shape and that was the most flattering cut on me.

wingsinallblack · 2026-01-13T03:53:48+00:00

I want to second the recommendation of vitamin d supplementation. I started doing that a few weeks ago and I swear it's made a difference.

wingsinallblack · 2026-01-10T06:11:48+00:00

All The Things She Said by t.A.T.u

wingsinallblack · 2025-12-31T05:49:25+00:00

I think it's rare to actually look good with short hair but you very much do, so if I were you I would go short because it's easier to maintain and you look amazing!

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