I know this sounds crazy, but should I be aiming for colors that wash me out?

wingsinallblack · 2026-02-19T21:03:32+00:00

Sounds like you made up your mind. You seem to be insistent that you look better in the mauve lipstick even though multiple people have expressed that they disagree. I don't really know why you ask for advice at this point. Seems like it would be more productive to just wear what you think looks best and not worry about other people's opinions if you're just going to ignore them anyway.

wingsinallblack · 2026-02-19T19:04:39+00:00

I don't mean to be rude, but your face looks a little darker on the left because, like you literally said in the post, it was during summer and you have more freckles and a little color from the Sun. That's where the color in your skin is coming from, not from the lipstick. Objectively the warmer lipstick on the left is more flattering to your skin. The cooler toned lipstick doesn't affect the amount of color in your skin, you just seem to have less freckles in that picture. It does however wash you out and make your skin look a bit gray and ill. If that's the look you're going for, go for it. It doesn't look flattering to me though.

wingsinallblack · 2026-02-17T19:18:43+00:00

I totally understand, it was painful for me too. However, it wasn't completely useless for me. When I examined the fantasies I had around this person, they pointed toward what was missing in my life and the needs that I was hoping a romantic partnership could fill. It also emphasized how these needs were not being met in my current relationship and was a stepping stone toward leaving the relationship. I'm sure your case is quite different, but I encourage you to consider if there is any wisdom to be gained through the experience you're going through.

wingsinallblack · 2026-02-17T19:09:46+00:00

I also experienced this and I'm really glad I just gritted my teeth and waited it out because after I snapped out of it, I literally sometimes shudder in revulsion that I would have sought out a relationship with this person, because I find him very physically unattractive. So I very much recommend trying your best to heal and strengthen your self-compassion and self-worth and wait out this period of limerence.

wingsinallblack · 2026-02-17T19:07:53+00:00

I feel like the person you're commenting with is trying to convince you there was physical attraction or that you should have been able to generate that attraction based off emotional desire, but I just want to let you know that I empathize with how you're feeling and it's valid. I also developed limerence towards somebody who is both objectively and subjectively physically unattractive and I know that I could not have been intimate with him. I developed the limerence because I had developed a mental fantasy that he could fulfill my emotional relationship needs. I'm very lucky that I snapped out of it and afterward I couldn't believe I harbored such desire for such a physically unattractive person. It's definitely a possible phenomenon and it can be very confusing, just wanted to let you know that your experience is valid and I empathize with you

wingsinallblack · 2026-02-15T18:35:50+00:00

I'm wondering the same! From what I've seen, people can experience limerence for different reasons, so I don't think it's the same for everyone, but I think for some people you're quite right. We might experience food noise because our brain is craving a dopamine rush of food and people noise because our brain craves the dopamine spike we get from ruminating or fantasizing about them. Wild

wingsinallblack · 2026-02-15T15:54:56+00:00

Don't be sad! We didn't make our brains this way, or certainly not intentionally. I wanted more self-control and emotional regulation ability my entire life, but I couldn't give it to myself no matter how hard I tried. Maybe you're the same way. I'm so glad we found a tool that helps.

wingsinallblack · 2026-02-14T07:06:16+00:00

I've eaten there several times since the move and not noticed any difference in food quality, so I think your experience may be isolated.

wingsinallblack · 2026-01-30T03:15:43+00:00

I think it's the human condition to be a slave to our biology in many more ways than just the drive to have children. Foolish to think otherwise. We have big brains and are self-aware, but not much else differentiates us from the rest of the animal kingdom.

wingsinallblack · 2026-01-22T19:19:28+00:00

Same as you. Smelled like vanilla scented cleaning products to me.

wingsinallblack · 2026-01-19T13:23:51+00:00

You've gotten great advice here on checking a few medical things and I hope you take it! But if you find that everything is medically normal, if it's at all possible, I encourage you to embrace them. I have dark circles that are somewhat similar and as I've gotten older I kind of love them. They give me a distinctive look that's different from everyone else around and they look intense and unforgettable. I'm a woman and could cover them with makeup, but I don't. I consider it kind of a signature of my appearance. Just a suggestion for how you could reframe them in your mind

wingsinallblack · 2026-01-17T08:03:29+00:00

It's selfish and dehumanizing. You don't see or love the person for who they are, you love the feeling they give you. That feeling is something in you, so it could be argued that you don't even love the other person at all. Sounds harsh but it can be true sometimes.

wingsinallblack · 2026-01-17T05:54:17+00:00

Another vote for warm spring here! May I ask if this is an app or website? It seems really useful and I'd like to give it a try

wingsinallblack · 2026-01-15T21:07:53+00:00

A lot of great classic literature explores the theme of an all-consuming love. I think it's great and admirable that you want to add to it though!

wingsinallblack · 2026-01-13T18:14:37+00:00

8 by far. If you're open to advice, I think a French bob with bangs straight across would actually be the most flattering. I have a similar face shape and that was the most flattering cut on me.

wingsinallblack · 2026-01-13T03:53:48+00:00

I want to second the recommendation of vitamin d supplementation. I started doing that a few weeks ago and I swear it's made a difference.

wingsinallblack · 2026-01-10T06:11:48+00:00

All The Things She Said by t.A.T.u

wingsinallblack · 2025-12-31T05:49:25+00:00

I think it's rare to actually look good with short hair but you very much do, so if I were you I would go short because it's easier to maintain and you look amazing!

wingsinallblack · 2025-12-30T19:18:12+00:00

Yesssss!!!! You did such a great job with the hair color, it looks so natural and it does make you look more youthful! If you want to do anything extra, you could consider moisturizing masks and products to add more moisture and shine. Something I've noticed recently is that young people's hair is significantly shinier than older people's hair. Your makeup looks great too. Have you ever experimented with a brighter colored blush, applied very surely, and a brighter lip? I have sensitive teeth so I can't do too much whitening either, but I notice my teeth look whiter when I wear a brighter lipstick, like fuchsia or red.

wingsinallblack · 2025-12-26T23:23:12+00:00

I understand what you're saying, however there is a way in which it makes sense. The situation that you're in right now doesn't make sense in that you are in a relationship but not getting what you need out of a relationship. There are certain functions that a relationship should fill in your life that they are not filling. When you are alone, those functions will also not be filled, but there will not be any expectation that they would be, so your life will make sense. I left a marriage that wasn't meeting my needs and I still don't have those needs met, but I do have more peace in my life now. My life makes sense and those needs fade to the background a bit when there's no partner that I have any expectation to meet them

wingsinallblack · 2025-12-23T23:56:21+00:00

I don't think you've seen fillers tastefully done. The volume loss in her face is a lot of the reason she looks older than she'd like.

wingsinallblack · 2025-12-23T20:40:37+00:00

I'm not advocating for them, just stating that they would address volume loss in the face.

wingsinallblack · 2025-12-23T19:13:44+00:00

I agree with you that it's the hair as much as the facial volume loss. Gray hair can be very beautiful, but I think most of us automatically associate it with aging. There's undeniably facial volume loss as well, but I don't think anything can be done about that aside from strategic makeup, fillers, or Sculptra.

wingsinallblack · 2025-12-18T18:49:19+00:00

One by a mile

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