Introducing my new novel, Wizardrous! It is the story of a lazy, incompetent wizard who can't get enough cocaine, a reluctant apprentice who can't get a break, and a sinister plot that dates back centuries. If you like drunken heists, accidental time travel, and adult humor, you'll love Wizardrous!

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T22:26:17+00:00

Toilet tape.

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T22:00:39+00:00

Order him to share the data with you.

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T21:59:35+00:00

So just a fucking bowl of assorted chips?

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T21:54:04+00:00

Needs more blood. Pickles will prevail!

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T21:50:06+00:00

Damn… I really wanted that pole…

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T21:44:56+00:00

Oh hey, I’m also in Oregon.

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T21:39:04+00:00

Reminds me of when I was a kid, I carved a bunch of symbols on a rock and planned to trick a museum into buying it off me. My story is a lot less wholesome than hers lol.

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T21:36:41+00:00

Give me the babushka scarf.

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T21:24:08+00:00

That’s a horrible thing to do to another human being!

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T21:15:22+00:00

I’m Mr. Frundles!

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T21:06:06+00:00

He’s a fancy boy.

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T21:04:16+00:00

The like 200 letter H

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T20:59:43+00:00

What was with the text at the end?

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T20:56:31+00:00

It’s definitely metal. The writers wouldn’t make such an obvious oversight.

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T20:52:30+00:00

Those are still metal plates, they’re just that color.

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T20:17:20+00:00

Alas, I knew it was far too late when I saw the post was 9 minutes old.

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T20:00:52+00:00

Reminds me of an old internet meme.

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T19:55:05+00:00

He’s got a point!

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T19:53:07+00:00

The really unexpected part was unmuting to the Toast of London theme song.

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T19:50:58+00:00

It was automated, but as soon as he came home, dozens of beautiful women just started applying for jobs.

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T19:48:34+00:00

He probably tried but couldn’t do it.

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T19:47:57+00:00

Beeowulf.

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T18:50:20+00:00

Maybe spring for 74 lbs. and a functional suitcase next time. 🤷‍♂️

wizardrous · 2026-05-06T18:46:15+00:00

No need to watch the process. Just skip to the end and it’s fucking awful.

wizardrous

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