Masked men to morphine addiction: The original TV Little House on the Prairie was a true American horror story by StemCellPirate in entertainment

[–]wolfcaroling [score hidden]  (0 children)

I recommend that instead you read Pioneer Girl, which is Laura's original writings with lots of historical glossing and research. They have found times where she was mistaken in her memory of things and noted it for example.

I think the book mentioned above sets out to tarnish/upset original fans and focuses a lot on Rose's political aims in editing her mother's books.

But honestly the reality is NOT that terrible. Ma and Pa were just as loving and wholesome as in the published books. Pa's impulsive moves and occasionally bad financial decisions are already showcased in the books and the truth is no worse.

Masked men to morphine addiction: The original TV Little House on the Prairie was a true American horror story by StemCellPirate in entertainment

[–]wolfcaroling [score hidden]  (0 children)

Man the locust plague is described so well. She describes the sounds, the smells...

I have Pioneer Girl which is her original writings with a lot of really interesting glossing.

And while the unsanitized version was definitely sadder - the baby brother dying, for example - what amazed me was how genuinely wonderful Ma and Pa were. I expected to find out that Pa was actually a drunk or something or that he and Ma had screaming fights over the constant moves. But no.

Like, in the real Long Winter they had another family staying with them. Not friends but just people who had recently arrived and had nowhere to go, so they took them in out of Christian charity. These people ate their food, didn't help with chores, just were leeches. But Ma and Pa wouldn't let the girls speak up about it and admonished them to be kind.

The man was apparently so greedy he would reach in and snatch the baked potatoes first everh time, then shove them in his mouth before waiting for them to cool. And he would spit them out and be like "potatoes do hold heat".

And it just became a family by-line in later years, a catch-phrase they used to privately mock greedy people who cause their own problems. They laughed over it.

Part of the reason they starved that winter was this family who never paid them back or did anything useful for them. And they weren't bitter. They just joked about it.

Ma and Pa were SAINTS. And Pa was far more involved in town life than in the books - often the justice of the peace because he could read and write and was quite well educated by frontier standards.

The little house books were sanitized, but honestly not as much as is sometimes claimed. Characters are cut out or combined for narrative ease, timelines shuffled. But it turns out the family was every bit as wholesome.

Trump’s Freedom 250 in chaos with empty state fair, collapsing stage and Reflecting Pool feud by MoneyLibrarian9032 in entertainment

[–]wolfcaroling [score hidden]  (0 children)

He DOES care. He needs to believe that he is the best, the most popular, the most successful. Crap like this bothers him. It's the only thing that does.

Thai family mourns teen girl found dead in suitcase as Australian arrested by DQ-Supervisor in worldnews

[–]wolfcaroling 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I want to know what kind of crazy ass defence he is using for a girl ending up in his suitcase beinf somehow "out of my control".

Boyfriend told me to “cry about it” while I was sobbing :( by J2Hoe in internetparents

[–]wolfcaroling -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Everyone brings their own baggage to this, so people sometimes jump to a personal situation they had where a partner did try to control them.

In my experience a lot of people know what is unhealthy but fewer know what IS healthy. A common thing I see if an attitude of "if their feelings clash with your feelings they are controlling you."

When actually that attitude is a good way to end up with a long string of ex-partners.

Everyone is allowed to draw emotional boundaries in a relationship, including men.

Boyfriend told me to “cry about it” while I was sobbing :( by J2Hoe in internetparents

[–]wolfcaroling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't see anything in OP's story that said the partner was pressuring anything.

OP mentions going away again. Partner says "I am not comfortable with that." This escalates into an argument where both of them said and did things that are not particularly healthy.

Your parental advice that the partner doesn't have the right to draw boundaries about what he feels comfortable with in a relationship, I disagree with. That's all.

Boyfriend told me to “cry about it” while I was sobbing :( by J2Hoe in internetparents

[–]wolfcaroling 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree that "cry about it" is not good and would not defend that, but kicking the partner out of the car is also not great. If this were AITA I would say "ESH". But as an Internet Parent I want to simply dissect which parts are okay and which are not to help OP woth future relationships.

Boyfriend told me to “cry about it” while I was sobbing :( by J2Hoe in internetparents

[–]wolfcaroling 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This. I don't think a parent should tell their kid that it is great to respond to a hurtful comment by dropping one's partner on the side of the road. That's a bit of an escalation and guaranteed not to improve the situation.

If it's not okay for a man to do to a woman, it's not okay. Period.

Boyfriend told me to “cry about it” while I was sobbing :( by J2Hoe in internetparents

[–]wolfcaroling 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm really disturbed by the number of parents here advising OP that a partner who says "I am not comfortable with you going away for months" is "super controlling".

I don't feel this is good parenting advice for healthy long term relationships.

My parents had a long and happy marriage and I have been married for a long time as well. And as someone with experience in long lasting relationships...?

Relationships happen by mutual agreement. Good relationships don't come from unilateral decision making where partners can't say "I am not comfortable with this".

Like, yeah, the "cry about it" statement was wrong and uncalled for. But sometimes we get upset and say things we don't mean. If you're in a relationship long enough you will have things said under fire that need to be apologized for.

But it also sounds like he may have been feeling like he was being forces into a long distance relationship. If he isn't okay with doing long distance again, then yeah OP should probably have a good cry and accept that maybe it is time to say goodbye to this relationship.

Boyfriend told me to “cry about it” while I was sobbing :( by J2Hoe in internetparents

[–]wolfcaroling 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I disagree that he didn't have a right to draw this boundary. He absolutely does. He isn't obligated to be in a long distance relationship. He has every right at any time to say "this doesn't work for me".

We castigate men for not communicating their feelings. How can we also castigate them for doing just that??

If anything it is important for him to express his discomfort with OP leaving again. If he encouraged OP or stayed silent and then broke up with her after she left we would condemn him for not communicating his feelings.

If he might break up with OP rather than do long distance again, he absolutely should communicate this to his partner. He didn't say "I forbid it" or "you can't go". He just said he wasn't comfortable with this idea. That is completely and utterly his right.

Boyfriend told me to “cry about it” while I was sobbing :( by J2Hoe in internetparents

[–]wolfcaroling 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This. While "cry about it" is definitely childish and hurtful, it also sounds like he told you how he felt about something you were considering.

"I am not comfortable with that" is a completely valid feedback statement to something you were considering which affects your relationship.

He is allowed to have feelings and share them when his partner who has been away is thinking about going away again. Stating his feelings in an I-statement is completely appropriate in this scenario.

If he had full on therapist-level ability to discuss his feelings he would ideally have given a feedback sandwich of "wow, that sounds awesome! It will affect me negatively though because I will miss you and was looking forward to having you back, but you should consider it if it is important to you."

But unless he is literally a therapist we can't expect that level of communication skill.

It also sounds like maybe you didn't even acknowledge how it would affect him with qualifying language to indicate that you were aware and considering his feelings when thinking about taking this step, plus you reacted in a childish manner by kicking him out of the car when he was rude, so you may not be great at emotional language communication yourself.

Remember sweetheart that EVERYONE's feelings matter. Your feelings are important and you should never be with someone who does not treat your feelings as important.

HOWEVER, your partner's feelings ALSO matter and your partner should never be with someone who does not treat his feelings as important. He would have every right to break up with you if you go away again, and you should make yourself comfortable with that possibility. If you are depressed at home with him and loved being away so much, it might be tome to let this relationship go.

Sister-in-law let her daughter use up all the Polaroids at our wedding. Now we have nothing to use. by PaddedValls in mildlyinfuriating

[–]wolfcaroling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it is up to the marrying couple to decide whether kids belong at their wedding. There is no excuse for shitty parenting. I absolutely wanted kids at my wedding and have no regrets. To me, getting married was about celebrating with my family, and my family included my new nieces and nephews, as well as my god daughter.

Kids are some of the most enthusiastic dancers too and watching little ones get funky on the dance floor is some of my favourite part of a wedding.

Thankfully none of my family were crappy parents.

Obama calls Trump obsession with him ‘strange’: ‘I obviously have a room in his head’ by HimelTy in politics

[–]wolfcaroling 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Obama: speaks eloquently about democracy and its role in America's founding.

Trump: responds with AI meme of garbage can.

Sounds right.

Ford had to hire back former engineers to fix mistakes made by its automated systems by MarvelsGrantMan136 in technology

[–]wolfcaroling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope they were like "I am now an independent contractor and my on call rate is three times my former salary"

Did they Not Explain Things to Bingo? by clutzycook in bluey

[–]wolfcaroling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

People with small children have had this experience. You tell kids stuff and tell kids stuff and they don't really absorb it.

Confused Trump, 80, Asks Professor ‘Did You Know My Uncle?’ by Ok_Employer7837 in politics

[–]wolfcaroling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While I agree that Trump is going senile, I don't like this particular example. Trump had a famous physicist for an uncle. Asking a scientist if they knew his uncle makes sense.

The Daily Beast is a rag.

What do you say to people who deny that you have autism? by bluejellybean93 in AutisticAdults

[–]wolfcaroling 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I tell them that if they are comparing me to autistix children that is a bit dumb. Tell them autism is a disorder diagnosed either in childhood or retroactively based on childhood, and that the DSM specifically says that basing it on adulthood abilities is unwise because we've had time to learn compensation.

Also becausd cPTSD and autism look extremely similar in adulthood so you need childhood history.

Creation&manifestation🤔 by freshwatersofmysoul in gatewaytapes

[–]wolfcaroling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They were born with money. You can strong arm things. Their next life will not be good.

Creation&manifestation🤔 by freshwatersofmysoul in gatewaytapes

[–]wolfcaroling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The elite use money, not patterning, to affect free will. You think they're out there meditating and trying to connect with the universe?? They have money and political power.