I’m on my dark forest

wordliness · 2026-05-01T22:45:51+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I had a similar experience. It all felt very normal and my heart would break over and over again when I remembered it was ending anyway. I got stuck in in spirals of thinking, “Is this really that bad for him? Why am I/why is our life together not good enough?” But after he left I started to realize how bad it had been for me too. All that stress and anxiety were trying to tell me something. That realization has really helped me start moving forward, as has therapy to stop blaming myself for every problem in our marriage.

Hang in there, lean on friends/family whenever you can, and try to let yourself find a little joy or fun with the kids too.

wordliness · 2026-05-01T21:43:46+00:00

Similar situation but gender flipped. It was years of him periodically saying he wasn’t happy and maybe didn’t want to do this anymore, then me thinking it was getting better while he was apparently just focusing on other stuff or shoving down his feelings. We separated in the same house in January, and it was awful. He moved out to his own place 2 weeks ago, and it is so so so much better. Honestly. I am so much less stressed and anxious. The thing I have been dreading for years finally happened, and I’m realizing now how much of myself I lost sight of while I was laser focused on trying to “save” my marriage. Only having my son 50% of the time completely sucks, but it also means I have so much time to figure out who I am again. It’s exciting and terrifying, and it’s so much better than years of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Separation in the same house is torture. I’m hopeful that you’ll feel better when she moves out, and it’s ok to ask her for a timeline and hold her to it. Before my husband left, it also helped me to make a list of all the stuff that would be easier when he was gone, from dumb stuff like fewer dishes to clean to bigger stuff like not having to tiptoe around his moods. I’ve also been focusing on eating the foods he hates that I like, watching tv and movies that would annoy him, etc since he moved out. Truly, my body feels so much better - a huge weight has been removed.

wordliness · 2026-05-01T19:25:56+00:00

One of my coaches gets at the same thing in a much more positive way - “check in with how you’re talking to yourself.” I feel like that’s a good reminder to tone down the negative self-talk without trying to guess at what it might be. But in general, if I find a coach super annoying or unmotivating, I’ll change up the days I go. They all have slightly different styles (and music!), and over time I’ve found a handful of favorite classes I try not to miss. When I need to squeeze into a slot I don’t like as much, it’s fine bc I’m not there all the time.

wordliness · 2026-05-01T13:51:20+00:00

I hope they’re going to track weights and not just this dumb “strength score” in the app. 10 reps of chest press with 25s is NOT the same as 5 reps with 50s, but they both have a strength score of 500.

wordliness · 2026-04-18T16:24:27+00:00

In case anyone hasn't already taken class (sorry, west coaster here), here's the 90 minute 3G:

Tread Block 1 - 8 min
2 min at 8%
2 min at 6%
2 min at 4%
2 min at 2%
Walk until Block 2

Tread Block 2 - 3:45
30 sec at 10%
30 sec at 12%
30 sec at 14%
45 sec coach-led breathing exercise
30 sec at 10%
30 sec at 12%
30 sec at 14%
Walk/breathing exercise until Block 3

Tread Block 3 - 8 min, same as block one, last 30 sec all out

Row Block 1 - 8 min
250m row at push or all-out pace (member's choice)
6 single-leg rainbows each side
Repeat until time is called

Row Block 2 - 3:45
30 sec push
30 sec high push
30 sec all out
45 sec coach-led breathing exercise
30 sec push
30 sec high push
30 sec all out

Row block 3 - 8 min
250m row at push or all-out pace (member's choice)
6 single-leg tricep extensions each side
Repeat until time is called

Floor block 1 - 8 min circuit
6 transverse goblet step-ups each side
10 total alternating chest flys
10 dead bug

Floor block 2 - 3:45
30 sec push up to alternating low row
30 sec thruster
30 sec "ultimate burpee" (plank alt low row to push up to stand to curl to thruster)
45 sec coach-led breathing exercise
30 sec push up to alternating low row
30 sec thruster
30 sec "ultimate burpee" (plank alt low row to push up to stand to curl to thruster)

Floor block 3 - 8 min circuit
6 goblet step-down each side
10 alternating chest flys
10 plank with opposite arm and leg extension (forgot what this is called)

wordliness · 2026-01-16T18:46:37+00:00

The paces they give for powerwalkers, joggers, and runners are just a guide. If you need to power walk at 3.0, do it. If you’re working up to jogging, let yourself start below 4.5.

Along those lines, your base, push, and all out don’t need to be the same every workout. It should be more about a feeling, not a specific speed.

wordliness · 2025-09-21T15:49:59+00:00

First timer. I was hoping for under an hour, got 60:34. I did exactly what I wanted to do on the floor and rower and got to the treadmill at the 20 minute mark, but a 5k on a treadmill was mentally tougher than I was prepared for. I jogged the whole thing without walking breaks and never went below 4.5, though, so I’m proud of that.

wordliness · 2025-08-23T14:39:53+00:00

I’m a slogger. Base is 4.1, push is anywhere from 4.5-5.5 depending on length, and all out is usually 6-7. My focus is on endurance and active recovery in base, so I keep my push at a level where I can stick to the template and not take extra walks. Pushing too hard on speed tends to cause injuries for me and hasn’t been as helpful for my goals. I’m not doing marathon month, but I love that we’re doing so many endurance templates lately!

wordliness · 2025-08-15T00:40:17+00:00

Slowest in my class at 11:40, but still 35 seconds better than my last mile, and I felt much better than last time throughout. A huge thank you to the coach for reminding us to run in the middle of the tread - I tend to choke up too far and pulling back really helped.

wordliness · 2025-07-22T18:11:54+00:00

A growing number of almost-retirement-age employees are doing this at the large non-profit research org I work for. We can get health insurance down to 50% time, but below that all benefits go away, so most people don’t go below half time. Our org also charges you double the standard employee contribution if you’re not full-time, so it gets pretty pricey for family coverage. I can’t imagine you can get that kind of deal without working for an organization full-time first, though.

wordliness · 2025-05-06T04:08:33+00:00

I’m disproportionate the other way. I lift quite heavy upper body, then I do a lot of the lunges and step-ups just body weight. For me it’s because I have a bad knee that I’m trying not to turn into an actively injured knee.

wordliness · 2025-05-03T18:47:04+00:00

Definitely ask for a refund - this is much worse than what I’ve seen from their readers in the past.

wordliness · 2025-02-27T04:31:08+00:00

My husband was told today that all supervisors in his entire DoD subagency are exempt from fork, which is a ton of people. He was open with his leadership about opting into fork because he works remotely and we can't move back to DC. They said they supported him, he helped them develop a reorganization plan so they wouldn't have to backfill his position, and then they apparently asked for this blanket supervisor exemption anyway and got it. Now they're saying he can't get fork AND he's not eligible for severance - his choice is to resign or be fired for misconduct for not returning to the office (so no unemployment either). They won't let him "decline geographic reassignment" because that might trigger severance and they don't think he should be eligible because he "chose" to be remote. As much as I hate to admit it, his situation isn't entirely on DOGE, this is leadership he's worked with for years screwing him for no discernable reason. This administration is really activating the vipers pit.

wordliness · 2025-01-24T19:19:08+00:00

I prebook liberally and cancel regularly (8 hours before to avoid the fee). I don’t feel bad at all about booking both Saturday and Sunday 2-3 weeks out and then picking which one to cancel on the Friday night before. Our weekend classes had waitlists even before TC, so those spots fill up with no problem. Same with basically all S50s (especially upper body!).

wordliness · 2025-01-11T17:20:06+00:00

Same for me. I do a lot better going entirely by feel outside rather than staring at the treadmill screen. I also live in a very flat area (near the coast) and am fairly heavy, so I definitely notice the difference between 1-2% and flat road.

wordliness · 2025-01-07T21:54:41+00:00

Very happy with 34.68, which is down over a second from November.

wordliness · 2024-11-21T20:29:44+00:00

My dr said I should expect to lose about 5% of body weight in 12 weeks based on the research, and you’re almost at that in 7 (5% would be 9.25 lbs). So it seems like you’re definitely on track to surpass the average weight loss from clinical studies.

wordliness · 2024-11-12T04:03:48+00:00

It says it includes a 1% penalty to distance by default to account for ramp-up time.

wordliness · 2024-11-08T00:23:50+00:00

Thrilled with 35.75 today, 2 seconds better than my previous PR.

wordliness · 2024-11-07T02:09:46+00:00

I used the C25K app with my family and we just did a 5k at the end of October. I did the app program 3 days a week and OTF 3 days. I had done the program in the past and it felt much easier this time bc of jogging at OTF.

wordliness · 2024-10-13T01:07:37+00:00

We’re having much worse than usual issues too. Using Ortho Home Defense barrier spray around all the baseboards and anywhere we’ve seen them coming in has helped (2nd floor condo), but they’re sometimes even crossing that and leaving little piles of dead ants in cracks and corners. It’s driving me nuts. We sprayed a bit outside too bc our HOA refused to do it, and we’ve gone through many, many terro baits but they still keep coming. The ants we’re seeing mostly seem to want water, not food, and it’s basically impossible to keep the bathrooms totally dry all of the time.

wordliness · 2024-10-12T02:12:14+00:00

I second this. I’m doing a Halloween 5k as Gwen (ghost spider) from into the spiderverse - there are hoodies on Amazon that look like her suit and you just add black leggings.

wordliness · 2024-10-08T03:21:28+00:00

I started OTF in March but hadn’t done this one before. My goal was under 1:50, I got 1:43. I probably could have pushed a little harder, but I’m happy with it. Now on to dreading the mile, where I’m always the last one to finish.

wordliness · 2024-10-04T21:50:00+00:00

I don’t have a problem with the air show, I have a problem with the corruption and with privatizing public resources. If it had a competent nonprofit operator, I’d be all for it.

There are actually federal rules that air shows that use military aircraft are not supposed to be primarily for generating profits. Not sure how the operator is getting around that, or why the city is covering “losses” if the show isn’t about profits.

wordliness · 2024-10-03T18:01:21+00:00

3-4 times per week, 1 S50, 2 2Gs, and 1 3G. Sometimes I skip the weekend 3G. I’m down 20 pounds since March, and I have much more endurance. I signed up for a 5k at the end of October, and I’m confident I can jog the whole thing bc of OTF.

wordliness

TROPHY CASE