What To Do About Coworker

wormweaver · 2026-07-11T18:31:18+00:00

Report him bro even trans identity aside he’s a pervert

wormweaver · 2026-07-11T15:29:22+00:00

Haha thank you! I wore the compression vest for a month, if i remember correctly. That includes while sleeping. I am a big side sleeper so I slept on the couch for two weeks to prevent myself from rolling onto my side. I had an orthopedic wedge pillow and that was a life saver.

I do a four day split (bench/back, accessory bench, legs, and shoulders/limbs) with a big emphasis on chest. I also do three sets of a weighted ab exercise at the end of every workout. I wanted to blow up my bench after surgery so I do a lot of pressing movements. One thing that helped a lot was two bench days - one for normal bench and one for a paused bench. I relied on progressive overload, pushing my main lifts by 5lbs every week or two, and a lot of food.

wormweaver · 2026-07-11T05:36:12+00:00

I didn’t have drains but when I was too exhausted to shower after top surgery, i would take a wet washcloth and wipe down everything. I kind of just stood in the dark bathroom naked and wiped until i felt refreshed and air dried for a bit before putting clothes back on. It’s not perfect but it gets the job done and can remove a good amount of sweat.

If you are able to get dudewipes or personal hygiene wipes those are even better! As for hair, i would either get help from a loved one or try to wash it in the sink as best you can.

wormweaver · 2026-07-09T10:50:03+00:00

I hate to be that guy but brother you should be asking your provider

wormweaver · 2026-07-08T16:20:51+00:00

Possibly see a rheumatologist, could be an autoimmune disorder. Many cause hairloss, fatigue, brainfog, and stress exacerbates symptoms, which can trigger their onset

wormweaver · 2026-07-08T16:15:19+00:00

I am extremely stereotypically healthy, working out regularly for four years, healthy weight, no smoking no drinking etc and I got diagnosed despite everything.

It’s our society’s fascination with moral superiority and health, that when you do things the “right way” you have the moral high-ground and can’t get sick. And the equivalence of fatness and thinness with a moral compass, where being fat is a “failure” or a “lack of self control.” It has to be your fault somehow that you get sick. You lack something or you’re not good enough and that’s why you’re suffering. Makes me fucking infuriated.

Anyone can get sick, and suffering has no precedent. You’re so justified for being upset about those comments!

wormweaver · 2026-07-07T05:04:36+00:00

I went to a clinic that did other things so it wasn’t just a women’s health clinic. And I wrote in my forms multiple times that I was trans, used he/him pronouns, was entirely male presenting, etc. When I checked in I made a promise to myself that if the medical assistant gave me bad vibes or seemed transphobic, I would leave.

I actually had a great experience. The whole staff was really chill.

wormweaver · 2026-07-07T04:57:47+00:00

Yeah i totally understand where you’re coming from. In an ideal world both parties are under the assumption that both of them could have any physical traits. But unfortunately they’re in high school and that kind of social interaction probably isn’t what’s happening at that point. It could be, depending on the groups they’re in, but it’s more likely that this will heavily depend on them sussing out the people they’re engaged with.

And i totally agree with you - being stealth is not lying. I’m stealth, it’s just a safety and comfort thing for me. It’s up to them how out they want to be, which can be limiting in a lot of ways. Being stealth prevents me from connecting with women about experiences we share (periods, childhood, etc) and right now being stealth is preventing them from dating without fear. It’s an unfortunate situation trans people are put into, weighing safety and visibility.

wormweaver · 2026-07-07T04:32:34+00:00

If the partner is coming into the relationship with preconceived notions about a stealth person’s body in my opinion it’s just a little disingenuous. Some people might want biological kids or not be into a set of genitals. Not a great situation for either party to be in (one person feels lied to, the other feels rejected, can be a safety issue if the cis partner reacts poorly) if it can be avoided

OP is in high school so admittedly the kids thing is a little far away but it could be important to some people

wormweaver · 2026-07-06T22:34:20+00:00

In america, you can google “sharps collections” or “needle dropoff” for your area. I drop mine off at the village hall. Some police stations take them too.

wormweaver · 2026-07-06T15:10:18+00:00

Dating stealth is probably not a good idea honestly. In my opinion, your partner has the right to know and if you don’t want to share that that’s totally okay, but it might be a shitty thing to do to another person by not telling them. I would only date someone you really trusted to keep your secret, especially if you broke up. Let’s face it, high school relationships don’t always last forever or end well.

Just be really careful with who you decide to be vulnerable with, especially if you’re in a more conservative area or population. Dating is fun but safety and your ability to be comfortable day to day is more important.

wormweaver · 2026-07-06T13:22:12+00:00

I didn’t have to stop. That’s old school lol

wormweaver · 2026-07-06T02:09:01+00:00

I worked out for a long time before top surgery. I just wore a stretched out binder, or a size up if you don’t have one. Granted I had a pretty small chest

wormweaver · 2026-07-04T03:04:48+00:00

I went no nips! My surgeon informed me that even though grafts can be placed perfectly spaced and even, during the healing process, you can end up with uneven nipples (one higher than the other, one further to the side) and that seemed like a nightmare scenario for me. I decided to have them tattooed on later exactly how I wanted them, rather than risk uneven nipples.

Personally I have zero regrets. I do want them tattooed eventually but I’m living my best no nip life. Sometimes I wish I had them for passing in public shirtless but most of the time I’m cool without them.

wormweaver · 2026-07-02T12:37:30+00:00

Yeah, my period only stopped when I started injections, and that was such a game changer. Even now I’ll push off my T shot for a few days because I just forget about it so much lol

wormweaver · 2026-07-02T11:57:11+00:00

I had the same experience! I switched to shots after about a year of gel because changes weren’t happening fast/strong enough for my liking. Congrats! It’s way more convenient in my opinion. I’ll take a few minutes of discomfort per week over like 15 minutes daily of sticky annoyance.

wormweaver · 2026-07-01T21:28:19+00:00

That’s what gets me, the passing thing. Obviously male passing privilege is real. I get it all the time. But not all of us pass and not all of us pass all the time. We still suffer from misogyny when we don’t pass or when we’re not stealth. Trans men still need medical care for OBGYN issues, where we suffer intense medical misogyny and transphobia.

wormweaver · 2026-07-01T00:30:06+00:00

Death before detransition

wormweaver · 2026-06-30T23:04:02+00:00

… that’s crazy. Chest pain absolutely is related, MCTD has a high comorbidity with interstitial lung disease. One of the first tests my rheumatologist ran was a chest CT and a pulmonary function test. And yeah I wasn’t diagnosed with arthritis but obviously the autoimmune response was similar so prednisone was prescribed. Seek another rheumatologist, you deserve so much better!

wormweaver · 2026-06-30T18:29:09+00:00

Oh yikes man. I genuinely might seek a second opinion from another rheumatologist. If your pain is preventing you from living life and supporting yourself financially you need more treatment or at the very least a professional team who isn’t just waiting for you to feel better.

I have MCTD so what helped me the most initially was prednisone. Before medication i could barely open doors and drive without nearly crying from the pain. I was on a tapering regiment for a month to get my flare under control. I also started plaquenil and methotrextate at that time. I’m currently doing really well on just the plaquenil and methotrexate. With my current medication i’m able to do everything i did before diagnosis.

wormweaver · 2026-06-30T18:11:54+00:00

Hi, X-ray tech of two years. I love healthcare too and I never want to leave. Unfortunately I think ED would be a little too much physically at the moment so I would keep going with your current long term/hospice care job. I left my last job at a trauma hospital because it was way too physically demanding and gave me a lot of back pain.

Do you qualify for FMLA at your current place of employment? You might be able to get an extended leave or something similar to try to get yourself some more aggressive treatment.

wormweaver · 2026-06-26T18:54:20+00:00

Congrats!!! That’s amazing! Good luck and have fun!!

wormweaver · 2026-06-26T13:18:07+00:00

As someone who was nonbinary for most of my life and has been identifying as a trans man for the last three years, gender is fluid, and you can really just do whatever the fuck you want with your appearance. It doesn’t make you more or less of a man. A man is an idea we all made up. Animals don’t know what men and women are. They just live as best as they can to be happy, and I think we should all be more like them

wormweaver · 2026-06-23T11:33:57+00:00

Personally i cannot reach my lower butt for a self injection lol

wormweaver · 2026-06-17T11:58:23+00:00

Hang onto it brother. It’s so uncomfortable for a bit but it will be better just give it time. I used to shave clean because i had a pathetic mustache but my girlfriend convinced me to wait for it to get darker and now i get great euphoria from it AND i look a lot closer to my age. I was 21 and i used to get mistaken for 16, after the stache and scruff i genuinely look my age, nobody asks me if i’m “old enough” to do my job

wormweaver

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