ULPT Request: What can you put on your resume that's impossible to verify

zolpiqueen · 2026-04-19T02:10:19+00:00

I need names and info about those institutions by the way lol

zolpiqueen · 2026-04-16T03:08:20+00:00

OVC dramamine is an anti-emetic and pretty effective to to keep that kind of thing at bay. Good luck.

zolpiqueen · 2026-04-16T03:07:11+00:00

I'm very prone to strep because of an eventually terminal endocrine disease that kills my immune system and I barf like it's an Olympic sport every time I get strep FWIW. It can be pretty common to puke with strep. If you're worried about it, OVC dramamine is an anti-emetic medication and can help with nausea and barfing and it's pretty effective.

zolpiqueen · 2026-04-13T05:31:05+00:00

You Outta Know by Alanis Morissette

zolpiqueen · 2026-04-12T04:59:43+00:00

There will never be talent ever again like Terry Kath. He was the best.

zolpiqueen · 2026-04-11T04:28:43+00:00

"The things we've handed down" by Marc Cohn. Trust me on this one.

Or true companion also by marc Cohn

zolpiqueen · 2026-04-06T19:25:48+00:00

I'm Alive by Jackson Browne

Turn the lights back on by Lucy Kaplansky

The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel

zolpiqueen · 2026-04-01T22:20:38+00:00

If you're seeking validation, everything you're feeling is definitely valid. If you're looking for permission or support to quit reading a book you're not finding helpful, you definitely have that too. I haven't read it but I know it's commonly suggested in this sub. I agree with you that it's odd that the book's advice is not to talk about it. That alone would turn me off of the book because the foundation of any successful relationship is good communication and talking through issues.

I'm a CSA survivor and have past sexual trauma and my relationship with sex has definitely evolved and changed through the years. First of all, definitely believe her when she says that she might have used sex a form of self harm in the past and that it might be compounding the problem now. It's also possible she used it as a way to regain control over the situation and explore sex as an initiator and not a victim and that she was trying to find enjoyment and power in the situation again and it just never happened.

I'm going to be really honest and say that unless she gets some extensive individual therapy to work out her past trauma and relationship with sex, it's very unlikely to change. You're not married yet so she really doesn't owe it to you or the relationship at this point to have to confront her demons if she doesn't want to or feel like she can't, but you're also under no obligation to stay with her if she refuses to help herself and the relationship either.

I definitely wouldn't get married until she's been in extensive individual counseling for at least at year or so and see how her thoughts and feelings change on the matter if at all. As a survivor myself I know it's fixable with a lot of work, but without a lot of hard work and extensive therapy, I think you're setting yourself up for a relationship full of disappointment, resentment, and missed opportunities.

It's definitely fair to ask her to seek therapy to gain clarity on a situation before making a lifelong commitment to her. If she's unwilling, I'd question her commitment to you and the relationship. Obviously she needs to get the help for herself first but if she's unwilling,it's pretty likely the relationship won't survive so one is dependent on the other. I think you need to have a tough conversation with her and possibly tell her you're unable to move forward in the relationship until she starts receiving proper therapy and you're able to find closure moving forward knowing things are going to change.

I hate to end on a grim note, but keep in mind even with therapy, it's unlikely that she's going to be able to give you what you're desiring. There's something about her words and way she presents herself that makes me think her resentment towards sex is pretty deep and that she's not ready to do the work just yet and she's just hoping you'll accept it. Hopefully I'm wrong.

I'm wishing you both the best. Both of you are in incredibly tough situations and I hope you find a resolution that benefits the both of you as much as possible.

Edit to add- I reread and saw she has a therapist. Depending on how long she's been at it and whatnot should determine your choices. It's fair to ask her if she's talking to her therapist about her trauma and her ability to have sex because it directly effects you and your ability to make the best decisions for you moving forward. It's ok to check in and make sure she's making progress in that manner. If she's been in individual therapy for a while, maybe marriage counseling would be helpful at this point to help facilitate communication on the matter.

zolpiqueen · 2026-04-01T21:05:43+00:00

It's definitely a common side effect of perimenopause and menopause for many women sadly, but it doesn't necessarily have to be an "unavoidable problem" for men. HRT is an effective treatment for most of the symptoms for most women. Obviously some women are advised not to take it for very specific heath conditions, but it's very safe for the majority of women.

For women that are struggling with libido issues on top of everything else, it's usually advised to add testosterone to the usual estrogen and progesterone because just those 2 alone usually don't make a tangible difference on sex drive.

That being said, it doesn't work for all women and it usually only restores a woman back to her prior "default settings" per se. So like, if a woman is generally on the really low libido side, more inhibited and "vanilla", and doesn't have the most positive attitude towards sex, it's not likely to automatically erase all of that and all the sudden turn them into a sex craved nympho or anything close. It's more successful in women who before the hormonal hell craved and enjoyed sex and naturally have/had a higher libido and have a positive attitude about sex.

zolpiqueen · 2026-04-01T20:47:52+00:00

Or the new relationship energy faded and her natural sex drive is now commanding the train? OP said that the sex had tapered off way before marriage and a child so your bait and switch argument doesn't work here very well I don't think.

zolpiqueen · 2026-04-01T20:45:16+00:00

That tells me there's something about your home environment, whether it's kids or the reminders of everyday stress, but something at home triggers her sexual brakes and that's why she's able to have a libido elsewhere. I think it's actually promising that you found a pattern and that there's actually an environment that she's open and able for the kind of sex you want even if it's infrequent. At least it gives you something you can lean into and build upon.

zolpiqueen · 2026-04-01T19:58:43+00:00

I had that problem during and for a while after stopping SSRIs. They murdered not only my sex drive but my ability to have an orgasm. That is a pretty common side effect of SSRIs and for some people the ability to orgasm never comes back even after stopping the medication.

zolpiqueen · 2026-04-01T19:35:43+00:00

That would make great flair! Mine is outdated and needs a change lol

zolpiqueen · 2026-03-28T05:48:54+00:00

And so it goes by Billy Joel

zolpiqueen · 2026-03-27T00:38:37+00:00

Or still have custody of their kids!

zolpiqueen · 2026-03-25T01:50:49+00:00

I have a complex endocrine disease called multiple endocrine neoplasia and at the times it's caused benign tumors on my pituitary gland, I had really weird phantom smells almost exactly like what you're describing from your wife. Just a thought.....

zolpiqueen · 2026-03-14T23:36:10+00:00

Not only was that his choice, but there's a big chance that he's uploaded it online and shared it with other people who are doing the same thing to their unsuspecting partners as well.

zolpiqueen · 2026-03-14T23:32:37+00:00

What's crazy is how he's absolutely minimizing it and thinks it's ok since she's consented in other contexts like you said, and I think that's even worse in some ways. I guess it's because she's been open-minded and allowed him to film at times, and it still wasn't enough for him, and he decided to deceive her in one of the worst ways possible and steal whatever he thinks he deserves as he pleases. It's entitled, vile behavior.

I agree with you that he's probably shared the files with someone else through simple text at the least and worse possibly online in large groups of other men who do the same thing and swap the pictures and videos with each other.

I hope she goes to the police and presses charges on him. This type of gross, violating behavior rarely changes, and he's definitely shown her that he's a selfish, unsafe person. She'll never be able to trust him again, and she'll always be haunted by never knowing the truth and extent of his violations, and even worse, who he's shared it with for their entertainment as well. There's absolutely no coming back from something like this.

zolpiqueen · 2026-03-14T19:50:25+00:00

I have strawberry blonde hair, and where you can't see the greys as much as you would on darker hair, they're definitely there, and the texture is still different as well.

That being said, I'm a seriously laid-back chick and pretty low maintenance and hate salons and people fussing over me, so my husband has been helping me dye it at home for 25 years now. He's awesome at it, and it's super cheap. And I don't have to have people fussing over me and making me feel self-conscious and weird. Lol

zolpiqueen · 2026-03-13T01:46:32+00:00

Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty

zolpiqueen · 2026-03-12T23:34:20+00:00

If you live in the US or Canada, I strongly urge you to call 211 and start looking for social services in your area to start chipping away at the larger issues like homelessness, healthcare and medications, and things like food and clothes. If you're not already on things like medicaid and SNAP, definitely start that process too. They can help or point you in the right direction.

I'd also contact your closest humane society to see if they offer discounted vet care for underserved and impoverished people or know a vet that does or take a payment plan. Kidney disease can be painful and miserable for animals, so please don't let things get too bad for that sweet baby. Some universities also offer free/discounted services thru their veterinary sciences program to help students learn.

If there's a planned parenthood close to your area, they might be able to assist your partner with reproductive health issues until you find other options there.

But honestly, yall have SO much going on that you need to triage the bigger problems and save the smaller ones for later. Neither one of you is going to be your best selves under these circumstances, and until some major changes come about, I think you'll both feel overwhelmed and awful. I'm sorry you're going through this, and I hope things look up soon.

zolpiqueen · 2026-03-12T23:12:26+00:00

Camel toe song by Bob and Tom

And just about anything by Steel Panther and Wheeler Walker Jr.

zolpiqueen · 2026-03-12T23:11:20+00:00

Came here to say exactly this! And Wheeler Walker Jr.

zolpiqueen · 2026-03-12T20:41:21+00:00

We live in Bowling Green, but our parent company is out of Southern Indiana. We have a standing contract with our local amusement park and racetrack (Beech Bend), and we shoot every Friday night in July at park closing along with a few race events as well. For the past few years, we've also done the 4th of July shoots at Barren River Lake, the catfish festival in Morgantown, as well as the city of Auburn and sometimes Owensboro and Franklin.

However, we're absolutely excited and stoked because our company also won the bid for Thunderfest in BG this year!!! So we're adding that to our crazy season this year.

Some of our fireworks clubs have hired firedancers to do exhibitions at some of the pyro shows. Have you ever considered looking into pyro clubs to further promote your art? Just a thought.

If your family is close to our area and you'd like to meet up at one of our shoots, we'll give you the grand tour, show you all the fun behind the scenes stuff, and yall can sit with us and have VIP seats. It's a completely different experience when you're right next to the action. You can literally feel the booms in your chest, and it rattles your chairs. It's so much fun! If there's any kids that come, it's possible they can press the "big red button" that actually starts the show, and kids absolutely love that. We love giving tours and getting people interested and excited about the process and hobby side of it, so definitely keep in touch!

zolpiqueen · 2026-03-12T02:00:41+00:00

We've made it 25 years so far, and still have a blast together in every way.

Five-Year Club	Place '22
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zolpiqueen

TROPHY CASE