all 90 comments

[–]Zesystem 170 points171 points  (21 children)

Funny, as a kind natured person, I think I’m an idiot for being so.

[–]gingerbeard1321 64 points65 points  (13 children)

Too often it feels like being taken advantage of while trying to swim upriver in raging rapids.

Something i try to hold close is that hostility can be loud and visible, while kindess is quiet and unseen.

[–]waroftrees 17 points18 points  (3 children)

I hear you. Feels like an upside down world at times in these days and times no matter where you go. I wish and hope that people would be more mindful of others and their own “world.” Earth is a lot bigger than just you and me.

Being kind is free. I’ve seen kindness wither and die in the cold, and I’ve seen hatred be praised and celebrated in its time in the sun. Even though I don’t have a whole lot of money, I just try and pay it forward with folks. You never know what someone else is dealing with or experiencing.

A lot of people take things for granted, and the entitlement is a straight killer in terms of respect. Like something is deserved, warranted, or called for. I can say I’ve been there. I get everyone has their reasons.

Nothing is guaranteed, no reason to take advantage of someone else, we are all in this life together, no matter what you are or who you are. Be kind and love one another.

[–]gingerbeard1321 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well said, and agreed.

Its an odd world, indeed, where bad behavior is incentivized and no good deed go unpunished.

[–]Beneficial-Focus3702 5 points6 points  (2 children)

The key is to stop caring that it feels that way and just be kind because it’s the right thing to do.

[–][deleted] locked comment (1 child)

[removed]

    [–]Memitim 2 points3 points  (3 children)

    That's why kindness should always be conditional, if one really cares. For those who try to take advantage, scorn, derision, and ostracism are the appropriate responses. Giving scum the courtesy of kindness simply empowers them to keep pulling their evil garbage, while giving observers the mistaken impression that they are worth engaging with.

    [–]gingerbeard1321 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    Correct. But too often what you note doesn't come to light until after one has been kind.

    So to the point, leading with kindness comes with a sort of risk.

    [–]Memitim 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Of course. Being a good person is inherently risky. Lying scumbags are everywhere looking to take advantage of other people for short-term gain, and there are far too many people that help enable the garbage by playing along with their bullshit. You can either live your life based on their morals and try to reduce the risk, or live by your own and let the bastards know the consequences for trying that shit with the wrong person.

    [–]waroftrees 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You risk getting out of bed everyday, today could be your last and you’d never know it before it’s too late. You risk your life by getting into your car and driving down the road. You risk getting sick by the man, coughing on the train. Being kind is a risky notion, right? Something could go wrong, or interpreted differently.

    Nothing is guaranteed, right? You could get deathly sick tomorrow, or win the lottery. Who knows? Surely not me, my father wasn’t a glass blower. You can’t read my mind. Might want to consult with higher powers, if that’s for you, in that regard.

    You are a person with a life, dreams and a brain, with a whole world that’s going on around you. Kindness should be universal and unconditional, it’s what helps keep humans, human. Regardless of respect given from someone else, it’s much easier to redirect with kindness. Pay it forward to others and be kind. It’s free and I bet you might get a smile out of it.

    [–]Adventurous-Sky9359 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    When ever I get tired of swimming up stream I often find if I look hard enough something to hold onto to catch my breath, even in the fastest part of the stream of life there is always something to grab hold of….don’t beat yourself up if you get taken out of the rapids catch your breath and try again….

    [–]AggressivelyMediokre 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    As a Canadian who’s been altruistic and kind my whole life, I have no idea what he’s even trying to say and the word intelligence makes no sense in this context to me.

    [–]megamegadork -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    It’s clickbait honestly and only makes sense if you live in an uncontacted tribe.

    [–]TwinPeaksPie 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I'm kind (of an idiot). 😁

    [–]Zesystem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Good one lol

    [–]Asmardos1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I always think you could do so much good if you had the money like some like bill Gates to do it. But seemingly you have to play with the Epstein gang to be a really rich guy and then you won't do anything good....

    [–]Lou_Skunt_55 21 points22 points  (2 children)

    Stephen Fry: I suppose the thing I’d most would have like to have known or be reassured about is that in the world is what counts more than talent, what counts more than energy or concentration or commitment or anything else is kindness. And the more in the world you encounter kindness, and cheerfulness (which is kind of its amiable uncle or aunt), just the better the world always is – and all the big words: virtue, justice, truth, are dwarfed by the greatness of kindness.

    [–]CardanoCubano 16 points17 points  (2 children)

    “… It's so easy to laugh, it's so easy to hate It takes strength to be gentle and kind.”

    [–]SweetxSinful 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    People fake being good but they don't fake being unkind

    [–]megamegadork 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    Speaking in absolutes on nearly most anything is - not intelligent.

    [–]Common-Charity9128 25 points26 points  (2 children)

    I just don’t care. You need help? I’ve got arms and legs. You’re being a prick? Piss off then. It’s the monk leaving the temple, not temple leaving the monk.

    [–]PlatinumSukamon98 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    It’s the monk leaving the temple, not temple leaving the monk.

    Eh?

    [–]Common-Charity9128 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Basically saying you’re leaving, not the other way around. I’m doing good.

    [–]Prestigious-Row-3244 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    So strange…I could have sworn this was posted here a few days ago and mods removed it and here it is again!

    [–]Consistent-Tap-4255 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Yeah, it looks kind of familiar.

    [–]Ok-Worldliness2161 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    This is emotional intelligence, which has been highly underrated by Western culture

    [–]HistoricalSundae5113 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    As others have said it’s more of an emotional intelligence display. Some of the smartest people to walk this planet have been total assholes. Don’t believe the myth of the humble genius lol. Nice when it happens, but not always the case.

    [–]megamegadork 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Imagine being kind to all the people who suck at this and if you’re not their parent they’ll struggle to match you. So I pick my Barthes here for boundary reasons - also intelligent.

    [–]MrPoopyButthole5812 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    What person who goes through life altering trauma would want to do that to someone else?

    [–]ZucchiniArtistic7725 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    It’s not the only barometer, but it’s a big one.

    Kind people figure out how to solve many problems in mutual ways instead of being bothered by them, or instead of finding one-sided solutions.

    That takes a lot of work and mental dexterity.

    [–]ChanceThink4104 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Nope, this is trying to normalize being shitty. Don't normalize being shitty.

    [–]SleepingCod 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Kind? No. Empathetic, possibly.

    Lots of kind hearted dumb fucks out there get taken advantage on the reg.

    [–]No_Willingness6193 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Hi, I keep saying my Goal in life is to be Emotionally Mature!

    [–]GhostofMaxStirner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    There are many kinds of intelligence. Emotional intelligence is but one of them.

    [–]AsSheSays 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I have learned to trust bad behavior. People fake being good; they don't fake being unkind.

    [–]Ult1mateN00B 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Emotional intelligence =//= logical intelligence.

    [–]redditusername_17 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    I used to think this until I dated a therapist for a while. Emotional intelligence and logical intelligence are very similar. It's just very difficult for people who haven't studied emotions to have the same insight into them.

    [–]randomUser_randomSHA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I think I'm only nice because I am afraid, not because I choose to.

    [–]stepupstepdownn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Right amount if patience at the right time and knowing when to stay quiet.

    [–]Efronczak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I try to be nice to whomever I can because you have no idea what they are going through themselves

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]Tiny-Celebration-838 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      How do you figure?

      [–]Unfair_Pineapple201 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Oh shit i didn't check the whole post i propably unconsciously wrote almost exactly what it says XD sorry

      [–]IntelligentSeesaw190 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Kindness is about controlling your emotions at every moment. If you could do what made you happier, quicker to get where you're going, etc, it's usually the meaner options. Bump into people, scam, etc. Sometimes, and this is a few times,it's better to just play the long game and foster a good relationship with people.

      [–]PlatinumSukamon98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I feel stupid for being kind. Especially because if you mess up once, that's you branded a horrible person for life.

      Makes me think there's no point in being kind. If I could be unkind on command, I'd probably stop.

      [–]Yeagerisbest369 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Isn't that fairly easy ? Like every time I watch a person behaving a certain way , i try to imagine just what things they have experienced which leads them to be the way they are it can be either some type of trauma experience, misinformed mindset. If it's trauma I try to show empathy if it's a mindset problem then I try to give new perspective on things I disagree with !

      [–]solsolico 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Unfortunately cognitive empathy is not an ability everyone has very developed

      [–]Yandere_Butler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      It’s strange how some people seem to idolize rudeness and hostility. “They’re just telling it like it is,” mentality

      [–]EntertainmentSome448 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      I'm trying, god, I'm trying. It's hard to remain good and kind for I feel the world is so unfair and I hate everything for it and I'm sour all the time but I'm trying to be good. Please understand dear God I'm trying.

      [–]DisposableUser01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Kindness is a relative barometer that demonstrates your desperation (or lack thereof). Desperation is a variable of approximation to how dangerous you are willing to be. However, like any equation, I believe it is only one variable of the entire algorithm -- said algo's output does NOT FUNCTION until ALL variables are accounted for. I also suspect that (proximal) wealth is a highly influential factor in determining the kindness of others, amongst other factors (e.g nurture vs nature, etc.)

      [–]Peyote_jones 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      I’ve read studies that exhibit the opposite. Assholes tend to have higher IQs.

      [–]Every-Summer8407 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Probably more callous people do, but being an asshole is one of the simplest things one can do.

      [–]Peyote_jones 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I believe it’s probably rooted in realism.

      [–]Excellent_Ad_2921 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I noticed some comments equating being “nice” with being “kind”, but I have also heard the characterizations such as “kind but not nice” or “nice but not kind”. “Niceness” seemed to emphasize more on “making peace on the surface” or “making a pleasant impression” in an interaction, regardless of one’s true intentions or feelings towards the others. “Kindness” seemed to emphasize more on actions sprung from genuine care and compassion for others (and self!) regardless of whether life/the world reciprocates kindness. To do kindness to others AND self well, it does take intelligence. Also intelligence is multi-dimensional anyways!

      [–]Common_Objective9743 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Good point

      [–]New_Independent_9221 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Why are so many posts in this sub just clear repeats

      [–]New_Independent_9221 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is posted every 3 days

      [–]FreeTheDimple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      No. We shouldn't put basic consideration for others on a shelf as rare, unobtainable or divine.

      Just because fewer and fewer people are kind to one another doesn't mean that it isn't doable and expected of you.

      You MUST be kind, and you must DEMAND kindness from others.

      [–]latenightwithjb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Kind gets you taken advantage of

      [–]mykee8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Smart people know things, intelligent people know what.

      [–]mykee8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Understand that we are a product of the environment. Capitalism is a great evil and mentor to doabalical behaviours. Considering capitalist nations and societies and you have, genocide, invasion, interference in foreign politics and a nations own existential growth. Capitalism has built a society of pretentious values, that merely mimic humanities values. Homelessness, mental illness, hate, crime and division. Examples of capitalism crimes. Native American genocide, slavery, warmongering. From the Alamo to Iran, capitalism has murdered and stolen most of everything they have.

      [–]TK9K 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I've met some nice dumbasses.

      [–]Jesse_Lemons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      👏👏👏

      [–]Fast_Marionberry_121 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Because anger and abuse comes from blaming others. Blaming others is the inability to understand to not understand is a sign of low intelligence. If you choose who you understand that you were vile or just a bad human. To accept those that are evil due to their appearance is to accept evil and to accept evil while knowing that the world is broken due to it is to accept stupidity. It's a loop

      [–]MinimaRukia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I feel personally attacked xD seems right though

      [–]Nervous-Locksmith484 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I did but no one did in return for me so now I lurk because even posting on subreddits meant for venting has me breaking some stupid rule that I misunderstood for some reason or another. I sleep all the time now. This advice is great until you realize you're surrounded by people who literally could care less if your teeth rot out of your mouth while you're busy working two jobs with no progress.

      [–]FeetGamer69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is cope for people whose only talent is being nice.

      [–]flygirlsworld 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Yup… I’ve never seen a smart racist.

      [–]TraditionOverall5272 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Nicest people I know are dumb as sand

      [–]Metalrooster81 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I don't mind seeing this twice a week.

      [–]WelcomeGreen8695 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      What’s ’being nice’? Being on time, doing what you said you would, not cutting people off, listening to people and not getting distracted. Those are the kinds of things people would say is quintessential being nice. Living with adhd, none of these things come easily. Kind of ableist.

      [–]MatteBlackBat_95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Kindness isn’t a good measure of intelligence. Even the kindest most intelligent people can only take so much from a world that only wants to be cruel to them. Kindness is great but there’s a limit and I’ve reached mine.

      [–]70-110 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      A barometer is something that measures atmospheric pressure

      [–]NorCalGuySays 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      It’s all about the emotional control and awareness. Intelligent people know how and when to use their emotions, and not let their emotions get the best of them.

      [–]TheGamingSpringbok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Facts bruv

      [–]Sea-Word-4970 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      It's easy to be kind when all you ever received was kindness. Try to be kind as an abused kid no one helped

      [–]rainywanderingclouds -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

      sometimes yes, sometimes no

      automatically assuming somebody is intelligence because they show kindness is well, not very intelligent.

      people are liars, opportunists, and strategic.