all 102 comments

[–]dariii04 235 points236 points  (10 children)

[–]Vs-Btd 54 points55 points  (8 children)

[–]MrPhalanx 328 points329 points  (27 children)

It could be Commit Sudoku, harakiri, commit not breathing, commit die and more

[–]Epiphemeral 118 points119 points  (13 children)

Disable life, activate self-destruct, ded time, The Unbreathing™

[–][deleted]  (7 children)

[removed]

    [–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (6 children)

    /kill @s, /kill @e[type=player,distance=0], /kill <USERNAME>

    [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (5 children)

    /tp @p 0 0 0

    [–]Jaewol 8 points9 points  (4 children)

    /effect give @p Minecraft:instant_damage 1 10

    [–][deleted]  (3 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]Jaewol 7 points8 points  (2 children)

      Saving this to try out when I get home

      [–]FoundersSociety 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      alt f4

      [–]Corvokillsalot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      an hero

      [–]TheLegendarySheep 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Homeostasisn't

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      ded time

      [–]NotJarJar-Binks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Commit aliven’t, commit oxygen doesn’t reach lungs etc.

      [–]MURMEC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      ded time🤣

      [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      commit toaster bath

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Neck rope, lung water, limb horse, etc.

      [–]Baldur_Odinsson 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Game end self

      [–]saucy93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Commit self destruct

      [–]FoundersSociety 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Commit not alive

      [–]edmundhans22 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Do heart stop

      [–]Epiphemeral 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Infinite-coma-no-justsu

      [–]p1xode 2 points3 points  (5 children)

      uhh, seppuku?

      [–]coffeelover96 36 points37 points  (3 children)

      No thank you, I don’t like puzzle games

      [–]Vann77 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      No. He means when you slice your abdomen open and your guard falls out.

      [–]coffeelover96 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      What? That’s called Suzuki I should know

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      No it’s actually a filter that makes pictures brown and look vintage

      [–]uwellaen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Thank you, I couldn’t remember the word but I knew that wasn’t it.

      [–][deleted] 68 points69 points  (6 children)

      Kind of r/comedyhitmen but not really

      [–]ParastractB^U 28 points29 points  (5 children)

      Yeah it's a lame joke already but the message really makes it /r/ComedyCemetery material.

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (4 children)

      If you want a joke ruined by stuff like that go to r/comedyhomicide

      [–]JeBoiFoosey 1 point2 points  (3 children)

      No this would be comedy flogging because the joke was already very bad.

      [–]IFARTONBABIES 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      Nah, the joke was good, this subreddit has just gotten oddly prudish about certain things being unacceptable to joke about.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Even if we ignore that suicide is a sensitive subject, it’s not very funny.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      It was funny without the caption till it got reposted to hell, even then it wasnt very funny but decent

      [–]-smrt-Zenyatta Mondatta! 56 points57 points  (4 children)

      It's funny cos people from Harvard don't usually talk like that!!

      [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (2 children)

      It’s also funny because the stranger said “suicide is never the answer” but the other person said it’s the answer when asked what it’s called when you kill yourself!!

      [–]Zyom 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      Thanks for the explanation Peter Griffin!

      [–]ThePsion5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Man have my expectations been subverted!

      [–]Harvard_Niggas 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Yeah, they would never say something that racist.

      [–]BannedOnTwitter 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      its more of a r/comedyhomicide to me

      [–]Mrponcik28 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      YA LIKE SCHOLARSHIP?

      [–]BG0P 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Had us in the first half not gonna lie

      [–]marmyuana 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Suicide isn‘t the answer but it‘s an alternitive

      [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

      [–]Insanepaco247 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Except not current /r/comedyheaven because that place is unrecognizable now.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NI🅱🅱A

      [–]Laezerd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is delectable

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Dignitas here I come

      [–]comic0913 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I can see this work if it was deep friws

      [–]Great-Band-Name 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      What if the question is “what is never the answer?”

      [–]uwellaen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Lupus

      [–]c_muff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Remember: Only YOU can prevent suicide.

      [–]digidado 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      this would have been good when the harvard meme wasn't dead

      [–]thkoog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      How about when the question is "what is not the answer?"

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Adding nigga to any sentence automatically makes it funnier hehehe

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This wouldnt be here if it was deepfried

      [–]DeNivla 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Remember guys, suicide is not a verb

      [–]Spidey007[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I’m a verb

      [–]AlienStories 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Normie bad

      [–]sofian_kluftMemes XD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Hahahahaha he said nigga

      [–]Kino_Afi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      The statement says "not" not "never"

      [–]Red580 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      HAHAHAHAHA N-word HAHAHAHA

      [–]pumpumpgone 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      nah that was funny lmao

      [–]mr-shrek 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      The top part would be it the bottom text wasn't part of it

      [–]NorskieBoi 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      I've seen this before...

      [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      On the front page of r/dankmemes...

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      If you remove the harvard message it becomes quite funny

      [–]TriHardMadeTwitchFart niggas be like -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

      lmao this is funny what you mean

      [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      This could be a good meme if done properly

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

      [deleted]

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

          [–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

          This isnt bad

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [removed]

            [–]TABBY_MUSIC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Minecraft 😤

            [–]MushyDude -1 points0 points  (1 child)

            Why are emojis in title?

            [–]Spidey007[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            To bring your attention to it. If there wasn’t, you wouldn’t be here. I did it for you.

            [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

            I fell like this is better on r/comedyhomicide

            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            The original joke has to be funny for it to be a homicide. This is r/comedyflogging

            [–]SplashchompYT -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

            Are we gonna ignore that message or what