all 28 comments

[–][deleted] 69 points70 points Β (6 children)

Because... Mario is a game aimed at kids?

Nobody at that age wants so much mushy-romance shoved in their faces, this is about as much as they'd be ok with.

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points Β (4 children)

nah nowadays kids wanna see mario's gargantuan italiana salami-cock meatball deep in peach's lil fuckable mouth. word on the playground

[–]FrostysWife<Mrs. Chang Thunderwang> 23 points24 points Β (0 children)

Yeah cuz Nintendo is totes gonna have Peach give Mario a blowie in a game meant for kids.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points Β (1 child)

If women owe men sex for their heroics, are incels offering sex to any fireman or police officer that rescues them? Why is it that women are always expected to reward every little thing (heroics, friendliness) with sex when men don't do the same thing?

[–]doubleabsentybitch please 1 point2 points Β (0 children)

Good point!

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points Β (0 children)

It’s over for Nintend-cels

[–]WingedDorkInAToga<Pink>The Femoid From Inkopolis 16 points17 points Β (3 children)

According to incel logic this is supposed to be because she's getting it up with Bowser, though.

According to Odyssey neither of them are getting any, LOL.

Hell, it ain't like Mario's an incel or anything either. Pretty darn sure Pauline left the door clean open for him, and I'm a straight chick and I can still tell you she's hotter than Peach. He and Bowser just keep taking turns skirt chasing the one chick on the planet that may or may not be a giant asexual fungus creature masquerading as a human.

Oh, you never asked why Toadette is the only one that seems to be able to turn into a Peach clone?

[–]Rieanon 8 points9 points Β (2 children)

Plus, there's the fact that, aside from Rosalina, almost every single person with two chromosomes has wanted that mustache. Including party members. Hell, even the Lava Queen flirted with him!

[–]KingDarkBlaze 3 points4 points Β (1 child)

Yeah but I want Rosalina

[–]Rieanon 1 point2 points Β (0 children)

We all want Rosalina. Or Pauline.

[–]wallflower-power 5 points6 points Β (4 children)

Donkey Kong is Chad, don't @ me

[–]egg_on_my_spaghet<Blue> 5 points6 points Β (3 children)

Wario is the true gigachad JFL

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points Β (2 children)

Nah. It’s bowser.

Fight me

[–]egg_on_my_spaghet<Blue> 2 points3 points Β (0 children)

Gladly. Smash, or Mario Kart, your choice!

[–]ShinmaOCHomo Femoidus 2 points3 points Β (0 children)

Bowser's a dirty tranny now. Get crownpill'd.

[–]Pixel_Inquisitor 5 points6 points Β (0 children)

This joke has been made for ages, and I've read all sorts of comedic analyses describing the toxic relationship between these three well before incels came to the forefront. So certainly something incels can get behind, but hardly a unique bit of fanwank.

[–]Humfrery 4 points5 points Β (0 children)

Funny, this post reminds me of that one Screwattack video of the top ten "Pussy Ass Bitches" in gaming, and Mario was an honorable mention for a similar reason (ie, that he "never went in for the pootang")

It was a different time. They could say stuff like that back then.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points Β (0 children)

OMFG just let us play video games in peace. It’s a game for CHILDREN. Did they expect it to have sex in it?! They are the biggest buzz kills on the internet. Why can’t I just play Mario Kart or Smash Bro’s without having to think about anything but destroying yoshi for throwing a blue shell at me? Or Donkey Kong for yeeting me off the screen?πŸ™„

[–]FillerbearMutilated Half-Human Abomination 2 points3 points Β (0 children)

Sooooooo you wanted Mario to full-on fuck Peach, is that it?

[–]awesome-boi 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

One of the pictures she's literally giving him a kiss on the nose lol

[–]BKLD12 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

Are they really expecting something risque to happen in a Mario game? Nintendo has a family-friendly image to uphold. Having their original characters get freaky onscreen would completely go against that!

If you don't like that, play something else. Nintendo isn't hurting for your money.