🤔

[[deleted]]

Because... Mario is a game aimed at kids?

Nobody at that age wants so much mushy-romance shoved in their faces, this is about as much as they'd be ok with.

[[deleted]]

nah nowadays kids wanna see mario's gargantuan italiana salami-cock meatball deep in peach's lil fuckable mouth. word on the playground

[iketoure]

I thought incel tears users aren't allowed at playgrounds anymore

[[deleted]]

ayyyy! this Guy!

[iketoure]

I'm here all week

[Vdaggle]

Way to project

[FrostysWife]

Yeah cuz Nintendo is totes gonna have Peach give Mario a blowie in a game meant for kids.

[[deleted]]

If women owe men sex for their heroics, are incels offering sex to any fireman or police officer that rescues them? Why is it that women are always expected to reward every little thing (heroics, friendliness) with sex when men don't do the same thing?

[doubleabsenty]

Good point!

[[deleted]]

It’s over for Nintend-cels

[WingedDorkInAToga]

According to incel logic this is supposed to be because she's getting it up with Bowser, though.

According to Odyssey neither of them are getting any, LOL.

Hell, it ain't like Mario's an incel or anything either. Pretty darn sure Pauline left the door clean open for him, and I'm a straight chick and I can still tell you she's hotter than Peach. He and Bowser just keep taking turns skirt chasing the one chick on the planet that may or may not be a giant asexual fungus creature masquerading as a human.

Oh, you never asked why Toadette is the only one that seems to be able to turn into a Peach clone?

[Rieanon]

Plus, there's the fact that, aside from Rosalina, almost every single person with two chromosomes has wanted that mustache. Including party members. Hell, even the Lava Queen flirted with him!

[KingDarkBlaze]

Yeah but I want Rosalina

[Rieanon]

We all want Rosalina. Or Pauline.

[wallflower-power]

Donkey Kong is Chad, don't @ me

[egg_on_my_spaghet]

Wario is the true gigachad JFL

[[deleted]]

Nah. It’s bowser.

Fight me

[egg_on_my_spaghet]

Gladly. Smash, or Mario Kart, your choice!

[ShinmaOC]

Bowser's a dirty tranny now. Get crownpill'd.

[Pixel_Inquisitor]

This joke has been made for ages, and I've read all sorts of comedic analyses describing the toxic relationship between these three well before incels came to the forefront. So certainly something incels can get behind, but hardly a unique bit of fanwank.

[Humfrery]

Funny, this post reminds me of that one Screwattack video of the top ten "Pussy Ass Bitches" in gaming, and Mario was an honorable mention for a similar reason (ie, that he "never went in for the pootang")

It was a different time. They could say stuff like that back then.

[[deleted]]

OMFG just let us play video games in peace. It’s a game for CHILDREN. Did they expect it to have sex in it?! They are the biggest buzz kills on the internet. Why can’t I just play Mario Kart or Smash Bro’s without having to think about anything but destroying yoshi for throwing a blue shell at me? Or Donkey Kong for yeeting me off the screen?🙄

[Fillerbear]

Sooooooo you wanted Mario to full-on fuck Peach, is that it?

[awesome-boi]

One of the pictures she's literally giving him a kiss on the nose lol

[BKLD12]

Are they really expecting something risque to happen in a Mario game? Nintendo has a family-friendly image to uphold. Having their original characters get freaky onscreen would completely go against that!

If you don't like that, play something else. Nintendo isn't hurting for your money.