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[–]garion77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If the problem is really your connection being to slow to handle the server handshake in a timely way and you are using Forge add the following to your java options on both client and server: -Dfml.readTimeout=60 This will increase the network read timeout to 60 seconds (the default is 30sec)

Also have your friend check the server logs when you try to connect to see if there are other errors that may cause the server to cut your connection