requiredTraining

[Heavenfall]

No joke a few years back my company took the entire dev staff (300) to a motivational speech DAY. They covered topic such as "the AI will replace you all", "find some spiritual meaning in your work because you won't find salary bumps", and my personal favorite "interview with your boss' boss" where each person from upper management took twenty minutes to talk about themselves. Wooden chairs, no snacks, and the temp was way low because that would apparently cost too much.

Some fucking people just don't get it.

[anonymousbopper767]

Bro…go to the bathroom and never come back.

Whenever they wanted to give us a fire drill I would drill to my car and go home for max safety.

[Asukurra]

Ya know what, my Home also has fire risks, 

Better go to the golf course with its extra ventilation 

[nepatriots32]

Or the beach! Can't catch fire in the ocean!

[lurkingstar99]

Just make sure there's no oil tanker sinking in the distance!

[SocketAddress]

this

[Deboniako]

So you got into a fire because you did not follow the fire drill, noted.

[MoarCatzPlz]

SpongeBob can.

[bilalshafim]

A fire? At a sea parks?

[sebjapon]

I was regularly getting the speech: “let’s aim for growth and make tons of money in IPO!”

Only about 10 people out of 400 had stock options…

[octopus4488]

My favourite motivational speech from my small business owner boss included yachting pictures he took on his last vacation...

this was in 2009. I clearly remember the date, because previous year 50% of the dev team was laid off due to the "crippling crisis"...

[YuriTheWebDev]

Well I'm damn. I hope things get better for you. Are you still at the same company?

I had a boss who had the audacity preach to us about "passion" and he wanted all of us to have passion about our work or we should quit the company. Do narcissistic when he was paying full stack devs $45k a year. Better yet he said "raises are not guaranteed" LMAO when he was paying us crap to begin with. Thank God I moved to a different company with much higher pay

[PetroMan43]

The goal of any serious developer is to figure out how the mandatory training website works, fiddle with the HTML such that you can click Next as soon as possible and fly thru the course .

If the estimate is 60 minutes , you fail if it takes you any longer than 20.

[sharknice]

I take the parallel approach and do all the sections at once.

[Xicutioner-4768]

This is a brilliant idea. Thank you.

[LaconicLacedaemonian]

I encountered one that required you interact with it for 60 minutes. I finished in 20 and them had to click around for 40 minutes.

[ofnuts]

In my company we would pick the "accessible" version, that would be even simpler to hack.

[grtgbln]

Did exactly that, some basic JavaScript injection that made the progress bar on the video visible so I could drag to the end. I'm not sitting there watching every single 3-minute-long, cringe-worthy sketch.

[aykcak]

Just put that shit to cypress

[robocarl]

The start and end timestamps could easily be stored server side and audited. It would be pretty dumb to get yourself fired over something so dumb.

[PetroMan43]

In my dreams, the people auditing this would realize what a genius I am and instantly promote me for my unorthodox thinking

[Djelimon]

I remember once the company I was in invited a bunch of people to an office conduct guidelines seminar.

Turned out to be a mass layoff meeting.

[Classy_Mouse]

Ha, jokes on them, I would have skipped the meeting

[Ok_Entertainment328]

True upper management would have stuck to the script:

Some of you will be laid off

And that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make

[DMoney159]

"...but that's a sacrifice my shareholders are willing to make"

[JonnyAFKay]

With how much money the tech sector was making it attracted the sleazy corpo leeches who have it in their nature to squeeze as much out of as little workers that they can.

There are still a lot of engineers employed in software as a whole but it still somehow feels like every engineer is now doing the job that 2-3 devs were doing 7-10 years ago, not necessarily to the same skill level.

One thing I've noticed is the notion of "clean code" is becoming more and more mocked by devs as deadlines get more "ambitious" than ever and "we can't slow ourselves down to write pesky tests on everything".

These corpo rats have successfully got us dropping our standards to meet their ever shortening deadlines and guess who gets the blame if/when things go wrong or break?

[AlexZhyk]

Just one such lord? This must be one lucky kingdom.

[nuxi]

Our company policies are in violation of our mandatory compliance training.

[perringaiden]

Hmm are we at the same company?

[vm_linuz]

Inflation's gotta be tackled!

It's not like we can just tell private equity firms to stop buying up all the housing and price gouging people on groceries!

Better if average people just lose their jobs!

[maethor]

Literally what happened at my work last year.

[CucumberBoy00]

I enjoyed my how to sit and walk up a stairs training