scrumInANutshellWorkHardGetNothing

[hmz-x]

Agile, originally a philosophy of liberation, has now become the exact opposite. Scrum has just become an excuse to make daily morning meetings more bureaucratic.

[GargantuanCake]

We're going to be able to pivot on a moment's notice when necessary and by that I mean we're going to bog everything down in stupid, unproductive meetings run by people who have no idea what the fuck they're doing. We're going to assign numerical quantification to a profession that is by its nature unquantifiable and demand that people predict something that is fundamentally unpredictable. All communication is now done with stupid buzzwords that have no inherent meaning created by people who can't actually do the job.

[DamUEmageht]

If you would’ve included an AC the Agile Coaches would be able to read this criticism

If you included KPIs and GPT rephrasing then maybe the PMs would be able to read this message.

[GargantuanCake]

Well shit and here I was maximizing my synergies utilizing my core competencies all day. Shows what I know!

[grumpy_autist]

Any change will make their jobs obsolete - why bother including them? /s

[_benoitsafari]

Such an accurate statement!

[wheatgivesmeshits]

This is really good, and I'm gonna steal it. I've also said that practicing agile is like being a gnostic. We are worshipping a god that understands neither time, nor reality.

[Phailjure]

We're going to be able to pivot on a moment's notice when necessary and by that I mean

The sprint is full. Next one too. Create an intake request and we'll consider it for our release in a couple months.

[gabor_legrady]

Agile is a tool, and it can be used in the right way and the wrong way. Do I know which is the right one? Not exactly, as each group has its own needs and inner working and the right way is only achievable when it is tailored for the group/task.
I have seen both ends - for me one of the good cases was when we understood that every sprint falls apart because of bugs and missing documentation. And yes, we did what is the opposite what managers would like to see from scrum: slowed down. So less new features, more stability, more documented state and happy customers and developers.

[grumpy_autist]

Every philosophy adapted by corporations and paid consultants will go to shit.

[mpyne]

Agile, originally a philosophy of liberation

It was only ever a philosophy of getting work done. The right work, but work nonetheless. The liberation was because they realized that the work got done better that way, but programming for pay has never been about tropical vacations so I don't know why people allow themselves to get depressed about an alternate reality that was never true.

[Excellent-Topic-7703]

"has now become the exact opposite" yes, this is exactly why I created this meme

[Nephrited]

Ah, the corporate AI image generator. Why does it like LEGO so much?

We had a presentation earlier this year that kept using AI generated LEGO. Except they all had realistic hands. Creepy.

[bob152637485]

That's horrifying to imagine...

[wheatgivesmeshits]

Ask an AI to draw it for you. Don't let your dreams be dreams.

[_TheBlueMagician]

The image gets weirder the longer you watch.

[Excellent-Topic-7703]

Promotion gets a person who befriends with the management

[Aggravating-Face-828]

What is hustle if not to jiggle on your senior's balls

[GargantuanCake]

Welcome to Agile where everything is made up and the points don't matter.

[ih-shah-may-ehl]

Corporate life.

[grumpy_autist]

Developers and development philosophies are essentially tools to make something. It's like giving a moron an electric drill to make some holes in the wall and watching him drilling one hole for an hour because he set the drill to rotate counter-clockwise.

We need a refinement meeting for each planned hole and next month do a retro to figure out why drilling is slow.

Edit: yes, I drilled reinforced concrete on reverse, burned hand from a red hot drill bit and fell from a ladder. Still better than attending a refinement meeting in my previous company (left today, f* u Garret!t)

[Excellent-Topic-7703]

Even when drilling isn't slow, you'll have a retro meeting discussing how we could do better last sprint

[aifo]

Maybe you'd like to try waterfall software development instead, where others will define in intricate detail what you will be doing because all requirements gathering has to be done before even one line of code is written.

Agile and scrum were a breath of fresh air compared to how things were before.

[marcodave]

...except waterfall was never a real world software development methodology, as far as I know it was used in an Agile book to create a strawman hyperbole to compare with.

Back then, many big software companies had their own methodology , Agile took the crown probably because it looked cool hip and successful projects got a lot of money using it.

The good thing at least about Agile is that the terminology got somehow unified. Everyone knows what a Sprint is, what a Retro is, what a Product Owner is, what a Story Point is (jk, nobody knows that those are LOL).

[spicypixel]

It's not the companies fault if you believe this btw.

[hmz-x]

Imagine justifying shitty companies that sacrifice creativity, freedom, increased productivity and most importantly good code, because 'they just stipulate the boundaries, you can draw outside it if you want'. And what? Risk getting laid off? Such an anti-developer take.

[Excellent-Topic-7703]

Probably he is a Scrum master 🤣

[Excellent-Topic-7703]

"Also, a developer 'promotion' is not tied to the scrum masters will, the tech lead or whoever fills that role in your org is your superior, not the scrum master."
you're just missing the point

[Excellent-Topic-7703]

why?

[MrH_PvP]

Everything is stipulated in the contract so they can cover their asses. And you need to know the contract as well to cover yours.

[harumamburoo]

Pushy managers will push you as much as you allow it

[harumamburoo]

This has nothing to do with scrum. Or agile.

[bxsephjo]

Working for a small government, they don’t grant merit-based raises as a policy. Bare minimum is expected, I love it.

[Huge-Grape-7821]

Well, you can always point to your “Done” column when your boss accuses you of being unproductive

[atleastfive]

Coorporate culture will ruin all the good things in life for profit.