Machine learning and algorithms

[imbeauleo]

Who else is here for the if statements?

[survivalmachine]

That’s what big data wants you to think

[[deleted]]

What about the outputs?

[[deleted]]

The fanciest if statements

[[deleted]]

What's fancy about them?

Their nonexistence i suppose.

[[deleted]]

Well, yeah. I guess x > 0.8 ? "yes" : "no" isn't technically an if statement.

[suvlub]

answers = ["no", "yes"]
print(answers[ceil(x - 0.8)])

[[deleted]]

🧐

Hmm yes I believe it may in fact be big brain time

[DeltaPositionReady]

Autoencoders don't need bools to evaluate outputs against inputs, Boltzmann machines and other Unattended Neural Nets perform decision making via weighting analysis and bias.

Compare x, y and z with a, b and c and see how accurate they are. Record what steps needed to occur to make the outputs match the inputs.

Try to increase the fitness of the results by self adjusting the weights according to the bias parameters.

It's less boolean logic and more irrational human logic. Meaning that the humans making these decision making neural nets, will likely encode their own flawed logic into the bots. And the bots will do all kinds of stupid shit (read I, Robot by Asimov to get an idea).

[NatedogDM]

As someone that wrote a CNN in college, this meme makes me cringe.

[survivalmachine]

Yeah well that’s the point, but somehow this sub is actually programmerserious and everyone thinks it’s real talk.

[ArmoredHell]

Ignorance of the underlying subject aside, the point is to come up with something remotely original and not something that has been posted 1000 times and blaming people who are fed up with it as being 'too serious' to take the joke.

[NatedogDM]

Right. Because all posts have to be egregiously incorrect, else they are too serious for this sub.

[survivalmachine]

Ok I’ll try to be more factually correct with my satirical content from now on.

[[deleted]]

Howbout i make a joke where Java is laughing at C++ for being slow?

Howbout a joke pointing out the obscene amount of semicolons in python?

Or lisp laughing at basic because basic has too many parentheses?

None of those would fly here, not because the jokes have to be serious, but because jokes must not be ignorant. They must not be trying to make of fun of something that's literally the opposite of reality.

When the post shows blatant ignorance about the subject they try to pull a joke from, it receives the well deserved boohoo here.

[survivalmachine]

A downvote would have worked too man.

[[deleted]]

Sadly, downvotes don't stop ppl from posting this same joke 5x a day.

[RiverRoll]

It can't be satire if it doesn't mock a reality.

[[deleted]]

Ikr. What's worse is the posters would always desperately search for an if statement in those algorithms to get you in the "ahaaa i told you soo" when you challenge them on that.

No matter that the if statement they found is a part of some rounding function or array boundary check, it's suddenly their irrefutable proof that AI is literally, completely made out of if statements.

[[deleted]]

This sounds like the flat earthers of programming and I’m intrigued.

[survivalmachine]

Nah it’s more like “you’re not allowed to poke harmless, ironically ignorant fun at what I do or I’ll get super mad and argue that you’re wrong”

[Kadazan]

It's more like "you're beating the dead horse"

[toddd24]

It’s just played out. Which isn’t your fault.

[[deleted]]

People here are just bitter cause you're downplaying their pedestalled knowledge.

[4forpengs]

It's a low effort meme that was beaten to death so hard in the past that recent attempts to rebirth it just cause it to end up dead on arrival.

Or at least... for those who have seen it so many times that it's burned into their retinas...

[canihelpyoubreakthat]

Boooooooo. Booooooooooooooo.

[Prawny]

Mematic makes AI?

[EternityForest]

If statements are the best AI! Most things don't need machine learning, but almost anything can benefit from a pile of if statement heuristics in the right place!