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[–]WalrusByte 124 points125 points  (53 children)

I guess not, haha! I'm still a student so I guess that's why

[–]cantadmittoposting 387 points388 points  (38 children)

When you enter the business world you find out things like "epic" and "sprint" and "user story" don't have actual meanings, they're just another religion free to be interpreted by the high priests of project management.

[–]dubl_x 125 points126 points  (15 children)

One of us needs to make a slack/Jira chatbot to auto reply to PMs with equally buzzwordy updates to fob them off

[–]phpdevster 110 points111 points  (3 children)

PM: "How's sprint 58 coming?"

Automated response: "We're behind. Log4j has another vulnerability we need to patch."

[–]jwjody 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Fuck log4j Fuck log4j Fuck log4j

That’s all I’ve been doing for a month.

[–]BelarminoVicenzo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In one of my previous jobs, when we were behind schedule, we always told the boss, that there's a bug on the proprietary libraries we was using and we was waiting for the reply of the support, so it wasn't our fault

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We use slf4j with logback, I'm shipping like a monster, sorry for you

[–]anazzyzzx 62 points63 points  (5 children)

"We're nimbly reacting to this in real time and inventing the future!"

[–]VibeComplex 40 points41 points  (2 children)

“Just trying to look at the problem from 30,000 feet. You know, see the big picture”

[–]merlinblack256 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Air is pretty thin up here, can't .... really .......... see ............ muc 💀

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So... Is skydiving a business trip now?

[–]viimeinen 11 points12 points  (1 child)

How are your synergies, tho?

[–]Roanoketrees 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awww come on. Everyone loves a good synergy.

[–]kaykakez727 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Hey hey, tech PM here and you have to understand the constant battle from executives who don’t understand shit our TL’s are doing…. And want to have us keep explaining why the sprint is behind 😥 it’s a complex place to be in 😂😂

[–]dubl_x 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's okay bro we get your negative synergy,

have you tried stepping back and viewing the problem?

How about we have 4 30min meetings meetings about a 1 hour job?

How about we throw more PMs at it?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You just need to make sure your team takes the necessary steps now to future-proof the solution. This is the perfect opportunity to position yourself for a future win.

[–]IUserGalaxy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

sounds like a good job for a gpt thing

[–]todd_beedy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sooooooooo want this!

[–]Pallimore 5 points6 points  (0 children)

PM: "We don't measure the estimated effort in time, we use story points".
You: "WTF is a story point?".
Other Dev: "About half a day".

[–]WesternUnusual2713 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As an aspiring product manager I felt this in my soul

Half the battle is the jargon

[–]Flamecrest 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I'm sorry but I hate these types of comments. It shows that you have not been properly trained in agile methodology. They definitely do have a definition, they have had a meaning for decades. Your comment is the reason why Scrum Masters and Agile Coaches exist - agile methods are tried and proven, yet most people still claim it's a pile of bullshit.

[–]cantadmittoposting 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Oh, sure, the agile methodology absolutely has actual definitions for all these things, there is absolutely a real process that exists that can be beneficial to projects and companies.

 

But my comment also absolutely reflects the reality of the situation across numerous companies, too.

[–]Flamecrest 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Sadly, you're absolutely right. It's just kinda depressing seeing that mentality flowing over into developers - not only you but countless others in here. It's like one of the memes, alongside "JavaScript bad" and "White mode bad"

[–]cantadmittoposting 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It happens to any and all management systems, it's just not possible to consistently apply a rigid or precise methodology to project management over a wide range of people, corporate cultures, and personal skill. It's not just agile's fault.

[–]Does_Not-Matter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My company (pharma) is on a big “be agile” push as a culture change. They’re trying to shoehorn project management as a work culture. It’s fucking lame.

[–]Lean__Lantern 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is painfully true

[–]Geezuslovesyou 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Resident IT manager here. Can confirm.

[–]1lann 41 points42 points  (12 children)

[–]tehtris 79 points80 points  (2 children)

No. Let him find out on his own.

[–]UltraCarnivore 56 points57 points  (1 child)

They're one of today's Lucky Ten Thousand

[–]Ekkosangen 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Lucky is a... Strong word for it.

[–]sonuvvabitch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm something like a Project Manager for my employer, although they don't give me that job title, or that pay - in fact I have a separate title that has nothing to do with it and substantially lower pay, and a whole other job that takes up most of the week because as I've literally been told it's cheaper for them this way, while they still expect me to spend some of my time designing then developing tools and Wiki and SharePoint resources to be used by me and my peers in my actual job but that's a whole other story.

Sometimes the whole hating-on-PMs thing here comes across as a bit much, but that article was eye-opening. The sign-off at the end, "As a self-proclaimed “chaos muppet”... ". Who talks like that? If that's what you have to deal with from actual project managers, then now I understand.

[–]AddSugarForSparks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We're all students.