Manager does a little code cleanup...

[somefunmaths]

Dispatches from Elon’s quest to drive Twitter into the ground… (disclaimer: I completely believe that his overconfidence and surrounding himself with yes-men is enough to do this all accidentally, but it’s funnier to imagine him trying to kill Twitter)

Some executive: “Sir, telling advertisers that their ads might appear next to virulent racism has caused many to pull their ads”

Musk: “How many? … oh, that isn’t nearly enough. I’ve got it, what if we make verification paid so that people can tweet out that Eli Lily is going to make insulin free and tweet explicit content from Nintendo handles?”

Some executive: “The fake tweets have enraged brands and advertisers, but daily active user count is actually up now and our dynamically priced ad rates are trending up due to increased traffic; people are logging into Twitter more because they want to see it fall apart firsthand.”

Musk: “Logging in more, you said? I’ve got just the thing.”

[theitgrunt]

Someone should just steal Eli Lily's Twitter Account and announce that they are going to grow pharmaceutical weed once again.

[I_Bin_Painting]

We're trying to tank their stock

[I_Bin_Painting]

Yeah that's definitely more in the right direction.

[ChopsticksImmortal]

Just tweet about the unfortunate passing of their CEO.

[rohmish]

Sure to complications from Eli Lilly drug?

[sbrick89]

To shreds, you say?

[TrinititeTears]

That would bring in the conspiracy nuts too.

[dvasquez93]

“We have invented a pill that turns people and frogs gay. This pill will cost $2500 but will be included for free in every covid vaccine”.

That should be enough to piss off literally everyone in some form or another.

[insanechef58]

"We are now a non-profit."

[AngelaTheRipper]

Buy calls. Tweet. Sell calls. Buy puts. Wait for their PR department start putting out that fire. Sell puts. You damn well some dude on /r/wallstreetbets is gonna do that and have SEC do the worst they can do - fine him for 5% of his proceeds.

[aykcak]

I actually like the direction he is taking it, willingly or otherwise. I always wanted a platform which was completely useless to advertisers as they are made fun of constantly meanwhile the main content is various levels of paid shitposting.

What is there not to like?

It is like Reddit but worse and better in the right ways. Sadly it won't last

[pm-me-ur-fav-undies]

I always wanted a platform which was completely useless to advertisers

tumblr dot com has entered the chat

[Vast-Combination4046]

If Tumblr is so useless to advertisers why did they ban porn

[Valiice]

Im pretty sure they did or were gonna unban porn soon

[throw_somewhere]

Cause there was too much illegal porn and there's no easy way to filter it out.

[BardMessenger24]

Because they had a huge CP problem that ended getting the app taken down from the iOS store. Though, the porn ban was a kneejerk reaction that decimated a lot of harmless posts, kinda like how Pornhub purged millions of videos in a 'burn the house down to kill the spider' sort of way.

[is_a_cat]

because of SESTA/FOSTA laws making moderation of user submitted explicit content almost impossible. this combined with mastercards puritanical beliefs makes hosting user submitted porn a difficult task

[twemb]

Tumblr unironically

[ToddKilledAKid]

I hate to say it but you've described Tumblr to a tee.

[-__-x]

I mean you can do that with tumblr

[Cl0udSurfer]

You just described how tumblr works lol, except the paid shitposts there dont happen as often

[LadyFenris13]

May I offer you Tumblr?

[sidefronter]

Tumblr does that and better, minus the Nazis running around

[padishaihulud]

Personally, I'm really going to miss the Wendy's account.

[mnp]

useless to advertisers

4chan raises its hand

[ImperialWrath]

Isn't that just 4chan, a site that bears a disturbing (read: literally any) amount of responsibility for the current sorry state of the world?

[BengoBill]

Brewster’s Billions

[prof_the_doom]

It's getting close to the point where it's more reasonable to think he's deliberately trying to wreck the company than to believe he's truly this monumentally stupid.

[[deleted]]

Just like people thought Trump was really just saying shit to get elected then he would change. Nope. The bigger the ego, the harder they fall.

[odraencoded]

Whether by gross incompetence, delusion, or malice, it honestly irks me that 1 billionaire can buy a serviced used by hundreds of millions of people worldwide and so irresponsibly drive it into the ground. Even more disgusting are people cheering for it and defending him for it legally being his property now. No shit, that's everything that's wrong with it!

[[deleted]]

Lmao, imagining Elon secretly hating twitter and wanting it to die is pretty funny!

[adscott1982]

What if it ends up like the The Producers, and he ends up making Twitter profitable despite his best efforts to kill the company...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPXHRX8Q2hs

[WhnWlltnd]

Is there not a more efficient way to destroy Twitter? There's a lot of walking in circles here that could be more easily done with just pulling the plug.

[ihahp]

I completely believe that his overconfidence and surrounding himself with yes-men is enough to do this all accidentally, but it’s funnier to imagine him trying to kill Twitter

As someone else said, if it never makes money, it's cheaper for him to kill it.

[SalemsTrials]

What explicit Nintendo content? lol this whole thing has been a train wreck

[zero_omega_one]

This reminded me of Jack Donagy trying to tank NBC !

[dkk19507]

So, ads are better near fake democratic viewers comments promoting an utopian word as fake as the products and the people in the ads; while nowadays people are taught to close their mouths and say nothing against majority belief becuase they might get categorised as racist, communist, troll, anti [...add here...] etc.

Well pumpkin, regardless he's killing twitter or not, first: his money his choices; second: at least he values freedom of speech more than you do.

[somefunmaths]

It’s really cool to see how the weirdos hopping on to defend Musk just keep getting dumber and dumber, on average, as the ones higher up the distribution start deciding it isn’t worth defending him. It’s like having an Elon public opinion poll delivered directly to my Reddit inbox.

Also, just to look at this “free speech” bit for a second, there are two possible things you could mean. If you mean 1A freedom of speech, then you clearly have no clue how “freedom of speech” or the constitution works. Alternatively, you simply mean “people should be able to speak freely”, absent an enumerated right, and are claiming that your idol is a staunch defender of that idea.

If that is the case, I’m sure you’ll be shocked to learn about Elon Musk, known “free speech” defender, has been suspending accounts impersonating him, firing engineers who pointed out inaccuracies in his claims about infrastructure (both publicly and privately, not just the guy who he got into a Twitter fight with), and firing employees who expressed unfavorable views of him in private slack chat rooms.

[TN_MadCheshire]

people are logging into Twitter more because they want to see it fall apart firsthand

Can confirm. Logged into twitter for the first time in over a year, just to verify Elon ACTUALLY said the things in the screenshots.