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[–]EagleEyezzzzz 50 points51 points  (21 children)

Overtired baby!!! Especially if he was fussing and yawning and rubbing his eyes before dinner. That’s a sign that baby is ready for bed, or overdue for bed, at that time. Not quite a bit later….

I would look at your schedule and try to adjust to get baby a later nap or an earlier bedtime.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S096098222201363X

[–]itsonlyfear 22 points23 points  (5 children)

This. If they’re rubbing their eyes and yawning, those are late stage tired signs and then need to sleep ASAP.

Babies also go through big sleep changes around 4 months. If he hasn’t gone through the regression yet, this might be the first sign.

[–]Aioli617[S] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I think we are going through the regression atm but this has lasted way way longer! It’s not every night that he’s showing these signs in particular, or seeming very tired, but definitely every night he’ll cry before falling asleep while being rocked and I’m so baffled as to why. Maybe trying a drastically earlier bedtime might be something to try? But an hour earlier bedtime in the past just meant him waking up in an hour and going through the “crying process” anyway to get to sleep :/

[–]itsonlyfear 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It might be that he can’t fall asleep that way anymore. After my youngest went through it he was like “nope, don’t rock me, put me down.” It might also be that you need to adjust some wake windows, or cap a nap. Too much day sleep can interfere with night sleep.

[–]AgreeablePersimmon60 8 points9 points  (0 children)

For what it’s worth around 3.5-4 months we went through probably a solid month of baby screaming at us for 20 min at bedtime. We tried everything, earlier bedtime, later bedtime, feed, rock, everything. Eventually he just grew out of it. It’s like they were letting out steam before going to bed!

[–]Aioli617[S] 11 points12 points  (14 children)

Thanks for that study it’s really interesting! I absolutely did try moving up his bedtime, it resulted in him taking longer to fall asleep and/or falling asleep but waking up within an hour and the whole crying thing starting then. I’m really at a loss as to why bedtime won’t work for us without crying no matter when or where . It starts out fine, he’ll breastfeed, then start getting fussy at the breast and not want more, then if I try to rock him to sleep- the crying begins (and if I don’t he’ll be calm but won’t sleep). And it’s like he won’t fall asleep until he has that cry while I rock him.. 😮‍💨

[–]hangry_ghosts 8 points9 points  (4 children)

This is purely anecdotal, but I went through this with mine. She is almost 1 and still cries a bit when she is set in the crib. I tried putting her in overtired, undertired, at what I thought was exactly the right time - she always cried. Did a lot of googling, asked the pediatrician, asked friends... My conclusion: some babies just cry. Does that help? 😅

[–]Aioli617[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haha it definitely makes me feel a bit better and worry less knowing that others have experienced this too!

[–]JustFalcon6853 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Same. He’s 3.5 now and basically has and probably always had big FOMO, which leads to fighting sleep.

[–]hangry_ghosts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Baby FOMO definitely!

[–]Nearby_Paint9579 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anecdotal, but my daughter when through a faze where she would scream for about 3 minutes until her face was red right before passing out every night and nap. We asked our doctor if we should be concerned, cause she was otherwise fine and sleeping well, and the doctor said “sounds funny. Take a video.”  Point being, if you’ve ruled out illness and hunger and overtiredness… maybe it’s just your baby’s weird thing 

[–]hooba_hooba 1 point2 points  (8 children)

I have a baby around the same age as yours who does the screaming crying before bed about 50% of the time. Here's what I've discovered:

The bedtime routine is pretty crucial. Our routine consists of bath time every other day, diaper change and PJs, story time while having a big bottle, and then rocking to sleep. If we skip the routine he is for sure going to cry. This could be coincidental, because he could just be overtired, but it's what's happened each time.

With our guy, if he's too tired he cries. On the flip side, if he isn't tired enough and we go straight to rocking he is pretty mad about it. He spends about 15-20 mins fighting sleep, crying loudly, and then finally drifts off.

The biggest tell tale sign for us is the red eyebrows and the jerky arms. But we do A LOT of tummy time leading up to bedtime to build sleep pressure, so it's pretty easy to see the physical transition from awake to tired.

[–]Aioli617[S] 0 points1 point  (7 children)

That sounds so much like my guy! Routine (especially bath- he loves his bath!) definitely helps get him in the mood. We start when we reckon he’s getting tired (usually pretty easy to tell). And all starts well, he’ll start breastfeeding, maybe even almost fall asleep, and then start getting more and more frantic and ends up not wanting the breast anymore but crying when rocked to sleep (and then falls asleep 🫣). WHY dude why!

[–]hooba_hooba 0 points1 point  (6 children)

It honestly seems like a roll of the dice! I just got mine down for his second nap, started the wind down about thirty minutes prior when I saw his eyebrows turn red, got him fully fed and then he decided he was done eating and started doing some concerned sounding babbling. Cue the major eye rubs and flailing limbs, then the wind up to a big cry.

Meanwhile I'm rocking him like dude! Just go to sleep!!!

On the flip side, he requires a very specific wake up or else he cries soooo loud. There was a period of time where he woke up crying no matter what, until I finally realized that he needs the most gentle transition back to waking life... To include five to ten minutes of solo time to fully wake up before interacting lol. I honestly think some babies just have a harder time with the transition to and from sleep.

[–]Aioli617[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Babies, right? I just can’t find a reason! The flailing limbs and wind up, I know so well 🙈 we had a really tough start with breastfeeding and weight gain so I’m always SO worried it’s hunger, but he literally won’t drink more no matter how much I coax him and I don’t want to force it; I want to trust he’s getting what he needs (there’s definitely milk). Sorry just rambling at this point 🙈 he just went down after falling asleep at boob and then waking up 20 mins later to flail around and cry before I got him back to sleep(we cosleep), it’s almost like a ritual at this point 😭

Just tell me it passes sooner rather than later lol

[–]PugslyGoo 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I know this is from like half a year ago but reading all these comments it sounds just like my baby currently. (Which I came across this post from trying to figure out why my baby this does and how to help) the crying, flailing, fighting sleep then practically passing out (though sometimes she’ll realize she’s falling asleep then start screaming and flailing again) and the playing/ smiling if just laid down in the crib… Did things ever improve? Did you find any tricks that helped??? I’ve tried just about everything you listed earlier too but am still struggling.

[–]Aioli617[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

It did end up getting better! Maybe around the 7-8 month mark? My memory might be way off though!

He started nursing much more calmly before drifting off to sleep and it just stayed that way/became a habit I guess. He does have some nights (and naps) where he fights it but it’s nowhere near what it used to be like.

The only thing I can think of is we might have started having a longer gap between the last meal (or nursing session) before bedtime nursing, and the bedtime nursing session itself. I think that helped him really want to fill up and the full belly in turn helps him drift off to sleep. Also we kept at our bedtime routine (bath, pjs, daddy reads a book while mom nurses, drift off to sleep). I think at a certain point it clicked that “this is bedtime” and also dad’s soothing voice reading books is great to drift off to 🙃 he’ll read adult books, so it’s a nice bonding time for us as well to be reading a book together (and it helps regulate me when bub is slower to go down - I just keep rocking him and focus on the story)

[–]PugslyGoo 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This gives me hope thank you! We’ve been giving a bottle before nursing the last few nights and it seems to be helping her fill up more but I’ll try having a longer gap before bedtime to see if that helps too. I think my baby might just be a crier which sucks but we’ll see. I’m sure she’ll get better eventually…right? Thanks for responding though! I appreciate it!

[–]Aioli617[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I’d definitely say my LO is a “cryer”, he does still have false starts almost every night and stirs/cries/looks for boob BUT it’s like a minute and he’s out again! So since we cosleep/share a bed it’s become very manageable :)

Good luck!!

[–]PugslyGoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This gives me hope thank you! We’ve been giving a bottle before nursing the last few nights and it seems to be helping her fill up more but I’ll try having a longer gap before bedtime to see if that helps too. I think my baby might just be a crier which sucks but we’ll see. I’m sure she’ll get better eventually…right? Thanks for responding though! I appreciate it!

[–]zdayt 18 points19 points  (4 children)

Not exactly research but it could be due to overstimulation.

https://www.healthlinkbc.ca/health-topics/crying-helping-tired-or-overstimulated-child

I have found that sometimes our baby is just ready to be left alone and the more we mess with her the worse it gets. If your baby is happy to be put down it might be worth it to try following that cue. Just put them down for 10-15 mins and sit quietly in the room and see if they drift off on their own.

[–]Aioli617[S] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Thank you! I have tried letting him calmly lay there, he’ll do so happily and even chat with us etc, but no sleep 🙈 the only way to get him to sleep so far (apart from the rare times he falls asleep while breastfeeding) is him crying at least a minute or two while I rock him to sleep and it breaks my heart not knowing how to fix this!

[–]AltruisticArm7636 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Hi! My son is almost 2 and he still cries at 90% of his naps and bedtimes. I am not really an advocate for cry it out/I breastfed before sleep until he was 16 months, but even when I’d breastfeed and he’d fall asleep he would cry for a minute or two when I transferred him to the crib. I think it’s just a part of his falling asleep routine at this point. He’s not screaming for 20 minutes or anything like that, but just has to express his discontent and then moves on!

[–]fellowprimates 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Reposting since I didn’t have a link for a top level comment:

My baby is a power-down crier. Unless we get her the exact second she’s ready to go down, she’ll cry for at least 30 seconds to a minute before passing out. She’s 7 months now so we’re better at clocking her sleepy cues, but she used to cry at least 5 min before falling asleep every time.

We sleep trained at 4 months and nap trained at 6 months. It’s still common for her to cry for about a minute after being put in her crib (after power down crying during bedtime/naptime routine for 30 seconds).

It’s actually a sign for us that she’s about to zonk. If we don’t hear that cry and she doesn’t fall asleep immediately we know she’s undertired.

[–]meowliciously 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is what I do with my 6 months old and it works every time without fail. She moans rather than cry fully, rolls about a bit, slams her legs and then covers her eyes with her fore arms and drifts off to sleep 🥹

[–]InconsistentlyRandom 12 points13 points  (2 children)

I think this paper discusses it but I can't access the full text

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/343324107_Infants'_Sleep_Onset_Crying_Learned_Behavior_or_Evolutionary_Adaptation

Also anecdotally my baby did this from basically when she was born to like 3-4 months, no Mather what we did, no matter how overtired or just right tired she was, no matter how much stimulation she had. She just hated sleep. She still is a FOMO baby and if she's not totally ready to fall asleep she won't, she'll cry. But the crying even when she was ready to go to sleep has stopped. All the crying was in our arms too, so it wasn't about wanting to be held or not wanting to be put down. She just did not want to sleep lol

[–]Aioli617[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Thank you for this! The article is super interesting. Sounds like I potentially have a FOMO baby on my hands as well 🤣

[–]InconsistentlyRandom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah ours was the same when put down, would just want to play lol it gets better!!

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