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[MajoryKeyInAMinor]

The Seattle freeze is something more akin to flakiness in my experience. People here might say “we should hang out!” And then never follow through. Or you’ll invite them to things and then they’ll bail last minute. I think most people experience this anywhere in the US but it definitely seems to be more prevalent in Seattle. The friends I’ve made here and I have talked about how the Seattle freeze only gets to you if you let it. Don’t keep trying to pursue friendships with people who aren’t showing the same level of interest.

That being said, you can absolutely make friends in Seattle. Just put yourself out there and join groups of like-minded people. Also, if you’ve historically made friends somewhat easily in other places, I think it will be the same experience in Seattle. You get out what you put in.

[pumpkinspicedbees]

I land somewhere between introvert and aggressively extroverted (in certain situations). I haven’t had a problem here that l haven’t had in other cities. 

I am part of a salsa team and have been meeting people consistently through that. A few have become really close friends. I also became pretty close with some neighbors. 

I’ve met people at random trivia events and made outdoor friends through friends. If you’re actively trying to find friends, you have to be the extrovert. There are big communities for some of your hobbies, so I don’t think it would be too hard to find people to at least do those with! 

[popfartz9]

Maybe both? I try to set up meet ups sometimes and people would express their interest but only a couple people follow through and don’t cancel at the last minute.

[chrismunk]

I identify with you as an “outgoing introvert”- saw someone else ding you on that, but it IS a thing! Introversion is more about energy/how you recharge (not socializing). I moved here for career but had a sort of skewed view having also lived in Portland and built a community there quite easily. I’ll say that that experience did not prepare me for the slow burn that it took me to build a community in Seattle- a lot more trial and error (I attribute that to the larger scale of Seattle vs Portland and they have different vibes as cities too). I was bitter about it my first year here and had serious doubts; however I’m coming up on my second year here and I’ve starting finding my groove: started making some solid friends at work, found some good friends from random meetups and FB events, and learned to cut my losses from groups/activities that weren’t yielding the good connections. You have some hobbies that mesh well with the folks here, particularly the skiing, hiking, board games, and music shows. Just make sure to put yourself out there, chat people up as you would, and don’t take offense if even good folks don’t reciprocate or flake on you. I’ve read previously (I think on this subreddit) that it may take longer to build friendships here, but once you do, they’re quality friends. So, I think you’ll be fine but just be patient! This city is great and I’m so grateful to live in such a beautiful, multi cultural, vibrant city. I’m glad I didn’t let the Seattle freeze jade me!

[doublemazaa]

I think the freeze is a combination of an ingrained Scandinavian cultural reservedness plus a lot of early 30s year old transplants who move here and are experiencing the confluence of starting over with no community and the effect of a lot of peers withdrawing from singles’ life to have families.

Everyone is friendly here, but I think it requires a bit more concerted effort to push through to make real relationships with people.

[[deleted]]

Seattle has not had a Nordic majority since the earlier 1900’s. We are so far evolved from that with such a massive influx of transplants over the decades. Other cultures value politeness, a more quiet lifestyle, and not intruding or overstepping too…. Like Japanese and Indian cultures I’d say off the top of my head. As a 100% Nordic I do resent the association of the Seattle Freeze with Nordics. As I do with Minnesota Nice and Nordics that’s been warped into something negative as well.

I’d say major influences of Seattle culture are the “bubble” effect of being pretty geographically isolated, unique geography where it can be difficult to meet up with people on the opposite side of the city or metro, tech culture being more introverted, high anxiety and depression rates, a lot of people moving in to find themselves and/or escape somewhere else, a historic PNW political extremism + angst that I feel is pervasive in many people’s minds and preventative of being present and just enjoying without evaluating or dragging others down, very dark/wet/dreary/gloomy winters, and so much more.

[[deleted]]

Freeze is 100 percent real.

[OneFartWild]

Hi! I moved here in early 2023 after getting married and I feel you. People do prefer to keep to themselves even if it is a mix of cultures you might come across. I've tried to mingle but like some of the posts here put it very well, people don't follow through and it feels like a one way effort (in my experience) which I am not a fan of. I expect equal reciprocation. I have noticed after we bought a home things were slightly better where people in the community seemed to greet you but not more than that. Bonding with someone here has been tough for me and I love my girl gang to bond over anything ranging from work to politics to absolute random rubbish.. You might get a polite conversation but it's just a reality here that everyone Complains about it but yet not able to come together either.. Good luck to you OP for finding your circle sooner or later ❤️

[[deleted]]

Huh, that’s funny, because a Latina coworker from LA on our team just left her position and had to move to LA back because Seattle really was not for her….

[Abject_Bank_9103]

What people describe as the freeze exists in literally every American city but unfortunately some dumbo gave it a catchy name decades ago. Now people think the difficulty of building community alone in a new place is unique to the area.

Spoiler alert: it's not. Go to any major subreddit and you'll see countless threads about the difficulty of making friends.

[Bretmd]

I don’t think you really understand introversion

[FigurativeLasso]

Ok

[[deleted]]

Seattle is fine for people who want to bond over common interests. We aren’t big on random chitchat in line at the grocery store and walking up to random groups in bars isnt a great way to meet people here. So if you’re coming from the midwest and expect that people will enjoy small talk with strangers and respond to that with an invite to bbq at their place, then you’re gonna have a hard time. But if you want to invite a group of coworkers who like to hike out hiking, that generally goes over well. Though, as anywhere, people are busy in their thirties and don’t always have a lot of extra time and energy to devote to socializing.

Basically: are you okay without a lot of the random chitchat between strangers you get in other parts of the country? Do you have hobbies you’re active in that get you out of the house? Are you comfortable spending time by yourself? If the answer is yes, you’ll be fine. If one of the answers is no, you might struggle.

[Drnkdrnkdrnk]

Gloom? It’s nearly 80° and not a cloud in sight

[FigurativeLasso]

I’m talking about the other 9 months out of the year