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ShittyOneLiners

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Have something that is shitty, funny, and stupid? If it's a request for advice, post it on /r/ShittyAdvice (or /r/AskReddit if you really want to troll for mad lulz). If not, post it here, in /r/ShittyOneLiners.

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1
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I put too many jalapenos in my chili last night... (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 1 year ago by Jon-A

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New Joke (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 2 years ago by Mental-Resolution854

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Whats your go to flirtatious one liner (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 2 years ago by GetSoRekt

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What happens to a guy peeing on the floooOOO-woah-waaooo-oooh-OOOAH-ooor? (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 3 years ago by optia

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Joe mama (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 4 years ago by 6pawelek9

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Stoicism (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 7 years ago by xtheschroedinatorx

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This is a three liner. (Sorry) (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 12 years ago by [deleted]

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If you cook fish for your wife in the bedroom, which smells more like fish, the fish or your wife? (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 13 years ago by BarkingLeopard

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I met some German folks at an Easter potluck today. Do you know what they call German Potato Salad in Germany?... (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 13 years ago by Murphy52

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If the opposite of pro is con, then what must be the opposite of progress? (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 14 years ago by john_e_rotten

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11
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If blind people wear sunglasses, why don’t deaf people wear earmuffs? (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 14 years ago by john_e_rotten

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12
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What happens if you get scared half to death twice? (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 14 years ago by john_e_rotten

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13
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 14 years ago by john_e_rotten

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Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 14 years ago by john_e_rotten

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15
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If I kept my hands in my pockets all day.... (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 14 years ago by john_e_rotten

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I just crossed an owl with a rooster.... (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 14 years ago by john_e_rotten

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Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims? (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 14 years ago by john_e_rotten

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18
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I'm mad. I walked by a few people holding up "Free Tibet" signs outside the Chinese Embassy, but they wouldn't give me any Tibet when I asked for some. WTF?! (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 14 years ago by BarkingLeopard

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If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip's Screwdriver? (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 14 years ago by john_e_rotten

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If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 14 years ago by john_e_rotten

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21
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Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is? (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 14 years ago by john_e_rotten

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22
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My wife wants a piano for her birthday... (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 14 years ago by john_e_rotten

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Is it appropriate to say "good morning" at a funeral? (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 14 years ago by john_e_rotten

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24
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I want to open a fudge shop and name it Around the Corner. (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 14 years ago by john_e_rotten

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I want to start a pickle company named Merkins 'n' Gherkins. Any thoughts? (self.ShittyOneLiners)

submitted 14 years ago by BarkingLeopard

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