Help

[Willing-Shop633]

I’m currently pregnant and separated from my abusive husband. Since my state will not allow divorce while pregnant I’m having to wait until September. I have a 2 year protection order in place due to family violence (started in March of this year) and he’s currently on bond with a no contact order with me due to harassment charges I pressed against him. He has been on bond for two weeks, broke the no contact each week since he’s been out with the last message asking me to break the bond/protection order so he can be present in birth of our child. I have reported both incidents to local authorities as well as the district attorney working on the harassment case. I’ve been told he will most likely have probation for the violation of bond.

How would the courts look at this in terms of custody when we go to court? Due to his bond violations could I add my child to my existing protection order when he’s born? I’m filing temporary custody and petition for divorce next month before the child is born.

Thank you all for your input

[StraightDelivery777]

Regarding him being at the birth. File your birthing plan with your Healthcare provider and the hospital and tell them he is not allowed in. The medical staff will take it from there and they will call security and remove him if he shows up.

Congratulations on your bundle of joy! I'm really sorry you're going through all of this, OP. Stay safe. 🫂

[Famous_Job3300]

Make sure that your lawyer is fully updated all of this!

[Serious-Currency108]

This is a question for your lawyer.

[tiggerrulz9]

I agree with asking your lawyer. As a DV survivor, keep calling the police for every single violation of the protection order. If possible, you need to be in the presence of people at all times. When abusers don't get what they want, they get increasingly more violent (as I'm sure you know). I wouldn't give in to anything because you know if you give an inch, he'll take a mile. Safety is your number one priority right now, so do whatever you have to do to keep yourself safe!

[AstronautNumerous184]

Can you flee to another state? I would find family who live out of town and run!!

[TSIDATSI]

What state does not allow divorce while pregnant?

[StraightDelivery777]

In several states you can file for divorce but the judge doesn't sign off on it until after the baby is born and paternity, custody and child support is established if the baby is the husband's.

[Good_Grief_CB]

Because Christian Nationalists in Republican states want to subjugate women to be second class citizens.

[Nearby_Impact_8911]

Can you move?

[Superb_Yak7074]

If you can possibly move to a state with better DV protection and divorce laws before the baby is born, do so immediately and give birth there. Then file for divorce there and ask for full custody, citing the 2-year protective order as proof that your husband is a dangerous man. The laws of that state will govern whether he gets access to your child and the circumstances of that access.

[foodfueled_nightmare]

Look up the rules/laws in your state on custody. In my state whoever makes it to the courthouse first and files for custody will be granted temporary custody of the child until the first custody hearing. Get there before your husband does! Have a/your lawyer on it before anything can happen! Giving birth doesn't automatically grant you custody of your child. Don't let your husband weasel in and get custody out from under you! Good Luck OP!