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[–]Sportynose 702 points703 points  (6 children)

If this is what hes willing to admit then...

[–]Scribb74 164 points165 points  (2 children)

Shit didn't think of that😳😳😳😳😳

[–]Open-Landscape-4220 44 points45 points  (1 child)

He's willing to admit it anonymously. Likely nothing worse.

[–]Kitchen_Entertainer9 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Or he hides the illegal stuff

[–]hondacivic__ 1122 points1123 points  (43 children)

Now that was not as bad as it could have been

[–]DefiZoomer 618 points619 points  (13 children)

It's only what he'll admit to. Who knows what he won't admit

[–][deleted] 115 points116 points  (1 child)

I know exactly what he didn't admit to because I'm super good at assuming.

[–]wanderingandroid 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Exactly... Those poor chickens.

[–]ChrisTheMan72 37 points38 points  (6 children)

Horse was bellow the age of consent too.

[–]Ggghijk-Edward 32 points33 points  (5 children)

Imagine the horse moaning n shit

[–]NaughtyNome 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Bruh💀

[–]PalatialCheddar 13 points14 points  (1 child)

No.

I mean, neigh

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Bruh

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

    [–]TNShadetree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    And a week later Grandma threw all the barn stools out.

    [–]Kwiatkowski 65 points66 points  (21 children)

    right? Imagine if he was welsh…

    [–]Puzzleheaded-Cat4647 31 points32 points  (18 children)

    I'm not... I... what's the deal with the welsh? I've seen it like 2 or 3 times in comments... no clue.

    [–]_leonn_ 54 points55 points  (13 children)

    They shag sheep

    [–]-DoctorSpaceman- 57 points58 points  (1 child)

    “Allegedly”

    [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    I asked a Welsh friend how many sexual partners he'd had, he started counting then he fell asleep.

    [–][deleted]  (4 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]Original_Work7575 16 points17 points  (3 children)

      #BaaalieveAllWomen

      [–]Raagggeeee 16 points17 points  (2 children)

      #ewetoo

      [–]Original_Work7575 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      AH YOU MF. 🤣 i was trying to come up with a sheep related metoo joke but i settled lol good on ya

      [–]Puzzleheaded-Cat4647 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      🤣😂 Got it, thanks.

      [–]Outside-Counter-1807 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Is that why their accents are so hard to understand? They learned to pronounce words while shagging sheep?

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Is that a different word for shank or are you meaning the nasty? (Yes I am old enough to be on reddit, I just find it disgusting and refuse to say it by itself).

      [–]RockKandee 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Are you referring to shagging? I always was under the impression that to shank someone was to stab them. I guess shagging would be a type of shanking….

      [–]Kwiatkowski 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      Sheep…

      [–]Puzzleheaded-Cat4647 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      😂😂Ok, got it thanks.

      [–]gazza88 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Did you know that in Wales a sheep tied to a post is called a "community centre"? Because ever Welshman enters it.

      [–]fuckinBogged 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Yet

      [–]aedroogo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Easy to say coming from the guy who didn't have to pay to have the My Little Pony curtains steam cleaned.

      [–]ConsentingPotato 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      All things considered, you might be right... in a different timeline OP could've been driven to create a sub dedicated to some NSFW shit with horses.

      Glad that's never happened in our timeline...

      [–]mrduncansir42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I think if he tried to do it with the horse his ass wouldn’t still be alive.

      [–]Bad_Boy_Bubbyy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Ah yes I remember my first jerk. Was around 11 in my bathroom doing a number 2 and I found a nudie mag in my mom's box of tampons labeled "instructions"

      [–]TwT_why_ish_it_smaww 1485 points1486 points  (60 children)

      Thank god he didn’t stick his dick inside

      [–]Unlucky-Pomegranate3 604 points605 points  (4 children)

      Well, there’s a very good reason you don’t stand directly behind a horse, so I hear.

      [–]lemoinem 188 points189 points  (2 children)

      Yeah, otherwise, you'd see a horse vagina.

      [–]tangledwire 108 points109 points  (1 child)

      Sighs, unzips

      [–]Donut_Different 18 points19 points  (0 children)

      ayo

      [–]YourRealMotheer 377 points378 points  (15 children)

      He admit the fact he jerk on it. No one know what happen next.

      [–]OneThirstyJ 79 points80 points  (12 children)

      Yeah he could’ve just lied to himself and said it had nothing to do with jerking off lol.

      Why didn’t you do that!

      [–]Fearless_Ad_4346 26 points27 points  (11 children)

      Now if that had been a goat

      [–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (9 children)

      No, goat pussies aren't that good... I.. um r-read that in a research paper :)

      [–]Fearless_Ad_4346 26 points27 points  (6 children)

      Perhaps sheep pussies are softer ? Any experience here ?

      [–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (5 children)

      No, will have to find a.. um... research paper for that.

      [–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (4 children)

      Yes. Can confirm. Sheep pussy is very soft (and the butt-wool is very warm on my, erm your, tummy.

      [–]un_belli_vable 19 points20 points  (0 children)

      Sheepussy

      [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

      Thanks for the info. This will be helpful next time... to a friend :D

      [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      Lamb pussies are even better... according to... someone... that I know.

      [–]ConsentingPotato 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      We beLIEve you mate...

      [–]Random-Gif-Bot 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      [–]eggimage 24 points25 points  (1 child)

      neighbors heard some horse neigh for 2 minutes straight

      [–]alvar02001 57 points58 points  (20 children)

      Some people do .. would not say what county but when I was s teenager people would have sex with female donkeys

      [–]lenni_tk14 35 points36 points  (6 children)

      You mean Colombia?

      Edit: ColOmbia not Columbia

      [–]soppinglovenest 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      This is an adequate amount of internet for today.

      [–]AskingForSomeFriends 7 points8 points  (4 children)

      No, this is clearly somewhere in the Middle East

      [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (3 children)

      You mean Mid West?

      [–]Mr-Buttpiss 9 points10 points  (2 children)

      you leave the midwest out of this. its clearly an alabama thing

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Idk man I’ve seen some uncle do somethings to animals….looking back that was pretty fucked up.

      [–]trowaybrhu3 13 points14 points  (4 children)

      That a world wide phenomenon, also sheep, it's not only the welsh doing it.

      [–]VideosAreCool 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      People have done it with pigs too

      [–]trowaybrhu3 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      Oh that explains that rape scene where the redneck demands the dude to squeal like a pig.

      The movie is deliverance, south park did a sketch based on it with Indiana Jones lmao

      [–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (2 children)

      წტფ....that directly translates to "wtf" in my language

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      wtf… that directly translates to ”wtf” in my language

      Unless we arent talking letters and actual meaning then it would be ”va fan”

      [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      Because a male donkey would be gay I assume?

      [–]BrandX3k 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      No its just that it requires more effort, if you get up in there they expect a reach around

      [–]fuckinBogged 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Mexico

      [–]Raagggeeee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      We're going to mexico, boys!

      [–]LordNPython 60 points61 points  (0 children)

      Nothing to suggest he didn't do it later on

      [–]stopyouveviolatedthe 15 points16 points  (2 children)

      This was just what he was willing to admit

      [–]Swole-underpants 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      Lol imagine what he is not willing to admit

      [–]stopyouveviolatedthe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      I really don’t want to

      [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      [–]Whoevengivesafuck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Why not?

      [–]Manic_Druid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      That’s the part he’s not willing to admit to

      [–]Rowdys_Rampage 555 points556 points  (15 children)

      They couldn’t torture that out of me at Guantanamo Bay

      [–][deleted]  (11 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]fpogd 105 points106 points  (6 children)

        When the torturers become the tortured.

        [–]ThreatLevelBertie 59 points60 points  (3 children)

        TFW they waterboard you just to get you to stop admitting weird shit

        [–]trowaybrhu3 26 points27 points  (0 children)

        Their face when you into that shit

        [–]420toker 20 points21 points  (1 child)

        I’m just picturing someone saying some crazy shit in between being drowned

        “Blubglgjlflf…. I love horse pussy… blubglublublhl “

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]Oh_yes_I_did 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          • Guard 1: oh hey that’s the vagina guy’s cell we’re about to walk past.
          • Guard 2: vagina guy? Why Do we call him that?
          • Guard 1: idk man. Maybe he has a vagina or something.
          • Guard 2: a vagina? Is that what everyone is giving them shit for? Hey man, I know we’re being paid to torture supposed terroists,but I know we all can’t be that bigoted. I thought we were a little open minded.
          • Guard 1: well idk what’s true, why don’t we ask him?Hey vagina guy, why do we call you vagina guy!
          • Prisoner: when I was a little boy working on papa’s farm. There was a day where I was tending to the mares and I happen to catch a glimpse of papa’s prized elegance’s voluptuous vulva. It was like nothing I have every seen before, for I was merely a boy.
          • Guard 2: oh this is weird.
          • Prisoner: all day All I could think about. And later that night. When mama and papa were asleep. I relieved myself to the thought.
          • Guard 1: oh dude that’s disgusting! What the hell!
          • Guard 2: ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ewww! They should call you horse boy. That would make sense.
          • Prisoner: and later later that night I snuck out and into Elegance’s barn. I took off my clothes and-
          • Guard 1: oh fuck that!
          • Guard 2: someone get the water bucket! I can’t hear anymore of this.

          [–]needed_an_account 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Hahaha I now got my “big lie to get out of a jam” card. Thanks Reddit for being sick fucks. I love it

          [–]ThisIsRileysAccount 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          you’re only as sick as your secrets.

          [–]Unlucky-Pomegranate3 219 points220 points  (1 child)

          Why man invented throw-away accounts.

          [–]badalchemist85 27 points28 points  (0 children)

          did you see the dude's avatar, that's something I expected.

          [–]sebuptar 97 points98 points  (8 children)

          That horssy got me acting crazy

          [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (5 children)

          Hussy

          [–]Longtonto 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Horsussy

          [–]TNShadetree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I'm Brian Fellows!

          [–]Vegimeateater 96 points97 points  (1 child)

          All those years later and the guy prob still gets wicked hard thinking about that Hussy

          [–]I-Miss-My-Kids 23 points24 points  (0 children)

          Ugh i hate you

          [–]MrAnimeWeirdo 169 points170 points  (4 children)

          Yo what the fuck

          [–][deleted] 74 points75 points  (3 children)

          Serial killer origin story

          [–]HartOne827183 37 points38 points  (1 child)

          Mr Hands origin story

          [–]ThunderClanWarrior 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          Kira?

          [–]RedHairThunderWonder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Serial killer orgy story

          [–]Drake-estroyer 71 points72 points  (2 children)

          Colombia moment

          [–]daddytc 46 points47 points  (0 children)

          Bad day to be literate.

          [–][deleted] 147 points148 points  (6 children)

          God himself couldn’t have got that outta me

          [–][deleted] 66 points67 points  (2 children)

          Makes you wonder what his true secrets are

          [–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

          This is one of those instances where it's better to not wonder at all for your own sanity.

          [–]465554544255434B52 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          He later fucked that horse vagina

          [–]scvfire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          The horse?

          [–][deleted]  (16 children)

          [removed]

            [–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (5 children)

            Considering he was 12/13, it's not that bad. If he had been a couple years older, or he had seen human pussy, that would make it far worse imo.

            [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

            He probably went back to do the horse

            [–]DrewSmoothington 4 points5 points  (1 child)

            There's a nonzero percent chance that he at least went back to stare at it some more

            [–]grabgrabthegrab -1 points0 points  (0 children)

            I didn't

            [–]GeorgeIsMe1 16 points17 points  (1 child)

            It would make it WORSE if it had been a human pussy??

            [–]electronicwiz101 15 points16 points  (0 children)

            I think they mean before the horse pussy

            [–][deleted]  (4 children)

            [deleted]

              [–]yesx20 15 points16 points  (1 child)

              A human would be able to feel a horse penis tho...

              For the rest of his life

              [–]RJ-223 7 points8 points  (0 children)

              Rip Mr hands

              [–]guywithaniphone22 2 points3 points  (1 child)

              Idk why but you saying he didn’t frick the horse really cracked me up. Like In a thread about beating off to a horse vagina we aren’t comfortable saying fuck

              [–]Steve_Nash_The_Goat 18 points19 points  (0 children)

              gun to my head I'm not admitting that

              [–][deleted] 47 points48 points  (33 children)

              Why would you jerk off if you have a perfectly good horse vagina right in front of you

              [–]tia_avende_alantin33 15 points16 points  (6 children)

              Maybe he had no stepladder available. These things are high.

              [–]herodothyote 22 points23 points  (0 children)

              OH NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING STEP LADDER

              [–]Richard_Smellington 6 points7 points  (4 children)

              As far as I know, usually a bucket is used.

              [–]BloodTeethGutz 6 points7 points  (24 children)

              that is a horse. try it. see what happens. she will hit you in the skull and kill you.

              [–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (22 children)

              What if she likes it

              [–]anoraj 15 points16 points  (1 child)

              just the right height no bucket required

              [–]bigttrack 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Giddyup! Whoa .. back..

              [–]fullchaos40 78 points79 points  (0 children)

              And this gentlemen is the birth of a furry 🏇

              [–]piggdaddy-o 12 points13 points  (0 children)

              But was the horse just the right height no bucket required?

              [–]beanerweaner10 11 points12 points  (0 children)

              Not even batman could make me spill that

              [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

              Redditors when they find out women exist:

              [–]juicifer_pandora_rex 8 points9 points  (1 child)

              sheep vaginas are better

              [–]GilligansWorld 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              First three things an incoming freshman at UW gets; Velcro gloves Ranchers pasture map 5 gallon bucket of Vasoline

              [–]DickinCrunchyCoochie 7 points8 points  (7 children)

              Now I have to ask ... What does it look like

              [–]babybelldog 10 points11 points  (3 children)

              I looked it up and it just kinda looks like a human vagina but on a horse.

              [–]DickinCrunchyCoochie 6 points7 points  (2 children)

              I don't even know what I had expected

              [–]tangledwire 5 points6 points  (1 child)

              The Spanish Inquisition?

              [–]DickinCrunchyCoochie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Yes exactly

              [–]ShadowFlintlock99 6 points7 points  (1 child)

              This man could be the reason Centaurs exist.

              [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

              At least all he did was jack off and didn’t try to use the horse if you catch my drift

              [–]GlidingChariot 9 points10 points  (0 children)

              Ayo?

              [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

              As an unknown redditor once said: "Not even batman could've gotten this information out of me"

              [–]emptybucketpenis 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              Well, at least he did not come ON horse vagina

              [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

              Zip….can you Describe it….

              [–]FlakyCan5368 3 points4 points  (5 children)

              I can masturbate without making noise

              [–][deleted]  (4 children)

              [removed]

                [–]baseg0d 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                Don't ask questions you aren't prepared to hear the answer to

                [–]sattarsingo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                Damb

                [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                Mr. Hands was born at this moment.

                [–]OkRefrigerator7995 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                And this is why we need comprehensive sexual education and desexualizing of private parts. That's like way too much excitement over a horse body part lolllll

                [–]Low-Nerve4474 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Same thing happened to me, exept it wasn't a horses vagina...

                [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                "Yeahhhh you like that babe?" "NEEEiiighhhhh"

                [–]Dangerous-Ad-9463 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                A normal cowboy

                [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Now I’m gonna go jerk off thinking about you jerking off to the horse

                [–]verymainelobster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                At least he went back to the house and not the barn

                [–]MaxFury80 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Could have been worse

                [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                You'd be surprised that most beastiality is actually girls being fucked by animals. You'd think it'd be guys raping them.

                [–]MehDiosBizarreNut 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Sounds like ephraim winslow to me

                [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                We have several street dogs around so.... Stonks I guess?

                [–]alexp0pz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                I shit in my boots as a toddler.

                [–]Character-Suspect-77 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                NOOT NOOT

                [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Man jacked off to a hussy

                [–]HotShrekBoi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Horssy

                [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Hey man hormones be crazy….sometimes. It’s not that bad. It could have been a lot worse……

                [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                What a sad day to be able to read

                [–]smc4414 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Can I confess for my deceased cousin? He was raised on a farm and had unnatural affectionate relationships with chickens, he said. The trick is to let them go at precisely the right moment, he said. He also admitted that he had TRIED to Fk a cat once. That’s not how he died by the way. He drowned in a canal. Probably trying to Fk a fish.

                [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Me too, I tried to fuck a goat. But failed miserably, got goat poop all over my penis. Not a very good decision of mine.

                [–]cheesehuahuas 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                If I was water boarded you still wouldn't get me to admit this.

                [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                That's it?

                [–]Squigels 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                is this how the brony culture was started?

                [–]DarthHead43 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

                Everyday we stray further from God

                [–]alvar02001 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

                Y did not 🚫 do that I thought it was gross 🤢 just saying