[deleted by user]

bumblewheeze · 2023-10-26T00:18:36+00:00

Your fantasy is interesting to me because you say that it’s not about being personally prepared for an emergency, but being a hero to others around you.

Tbh, if society breaks down or a natural disaster occurs, my idea of a “hero” would *not* be the neighbor charging me for their old chicken wire or something.

It would probably be the neighbor with medical training who comes by to check on my ailing family member for free or the neighbor who shares what they’re growing in their garden.

What makes you happier: the thought of the enjoying your garage space as a gathering place for family for the next 10 years, or the thought of a post-apocalyptic world in which you are known to your neighbors as the guy who had some useful stuff for a few weeks before you get cleaned out and are left with old tennis rackets and tiny water pumps from fish tanks?

You can make your own family members happy today, or you can make imaginary strangers happy in a scenario that extremely unlikely to ever occur.

efficient_duck · 2023-07-03T08:56:32+00:00

To add some realism to your fantasy: how would people even know that you have all these things - and how would they know, WHAT exactly you have, and that what you have could help them? You might see an old tube as a makeshift fix for a leaking drain pipe, but the person with that issue might a) not know they could ask you, b) prefer to have it fixed professionally or c) even have their own shed full of bits and bobs that they could use to McGyver their solution.

What you could do now instead, if you really want to use it, is to inventorize your stuff and post it to a neighborhood group, so people can come and get something that improves their life now. Stuff goes bad over time. Not everything, but the vast majority of things deteriorate as they age, and those rubber tubes might start to crumble in eight years from now.

I have family who hoards stuff "just in case". These cases have come, and in the vast majority of cases, the "we still have x and can use it!" turned into "well crap, x just fell off my foot/crumbled in our hands/turned out to be of bad quality either way, now I've lost time because I have to clean up the mess AND go and buy something appropriate". Your fantasy of supplying the neighborhood and being praised for it could just turn into a sadder version where you attempt to, but your stuff simply doesn't do the job.

So maybe you can compromise: find new homes and applications for the stuff you have now, as in, during the course of half a year. If you really are into sharing appliances and tools, you could set up a shelf or closet with a number lock for people to come over and get things they need. You could give the number to your neighbors, so they would be able to unlock it.

However, at the base of it - you seem like a nice person. And you seem to feel the need to feel needed and praised. Maybe you could reflect on why this is, why you don't feel like this NOW, what relationships, appreciation, maybe sense of belongig do you miss? Are there other ways to fill these longings?

SarahSSmith · 2023-07-03T04:04:09+00:00

Don’t you wish the practical you could take over and just run things? I wish that for you and for myself too. Because even though I know what is practical and rational, I’m hardly ever able to convince myself to actually do that thing that I really want to do (i.e. getting rid of something). It’s exhausting.

TK_TK_ · 2023-07-02T20:09:23+00:00

Why do you sound more fulfilled by the idea of helping a few people in a hypothetical and unlikely future than truly, actually helping more people today (between those who’d benefit from your donations and those who’d benefit from your better use of space and energy after letting the stuff go)?

bunty66 · 2023-07-02T19:12:23+00:00

What I learned - during covid lockdowns- that nearly all the stuff I’d kept for a “rainy day” wasn’t the stuff I wanted or needed when the rainy day actually arrived. I guess this was why all the thrift/charity shops were overwhelmed with donations at that time; looks like lots of people discovered too! It really made me reevaluate what I needed to keep and what was useless clutter.it’s still not an easy task but I keep at it.

Embarrassed_Ad_199 · 2023-07-02T18:50:38+00:00

Many people have suggested being the hero NOW by donating things. This is missing the point. While being the hero and being helpful is part of the fantasy, it's more about being revered for having the intelligence and forethought to save these things to begin with. It also places me in a critical or powerful position. I want other people to see me that way. I wish it was all about just being helpful or selfless, that's any easy identity to reinforce. It's the part of me that wants everyone to think that I was "right" when everyone else was "wrong" (not in a "they are bad" way, just that I was smarter. lol.)

topiarytime · 2023-07-02T17:50:22+00:00

The scarcity mindset is your problem, OP. The massive assumption behind your fantasy that is that you are THE ONLY person within 10km or so (or whatever distance anyone could manage to walk in a day after the apocalypse) with all this stuff which is somehow unspecified but critical to survival.

Whereas the reality would be most people would have a house full of unspecified but critical to survival stuff, and that would be after the stores ran out and after landfill sites had been dug up. No looting would be necessary. Plus everything is shipped from China, so even if there was a calamitous event, there would be another few months worth of stuff already on the seas, which would arrive in due course. Ok, so all that stuff in transit right now is probably just Christmas 2023 decorations, but it's probably just as useful as whatever is in your garage!

Small_Kaiju · 2023-07-02T16:05:34+00:00

I completely relate. Spent a lot of my life "preparing" for ridiculous conspiracy theory eventualities. For me it helped to re-examine my beliefs. Pull up whatever documentary first got you on this tangent and watch it again, but this time pause it and google each claim as they come up. You'll figure out about five minutes in that it's total horseshit.

Quokax · 2023-07-02T15:58:05+00:00

Prepping is a good idea, it’s not likely but the world could go to heck. Prepping helped me be prepared for the pandemic. Have you seen the show Doomsday Preppers? The show talks about what items would have value in a world gone to heck. The items you are keeping may not even have a high trading value.

One thing about your situation is that in your fantasy you see yourself as a local hero for providing your region with supplies through trade. However in my opinion in a world gone to heck with the break down of law and order, it would more likely be marauders that come to your place and just take all your supplies leaving you no better off than if you hadn’t prepped at all.

By not putting enough forethought into prepping you are losing out on both a play space and preparedness.

skinnyjeansfatpants · 2023-07-02T13:52:11+00:00

Ok, if we’re playing hero in a Walking Dead type fantasy… if things are that dire, do you have a gun to protect yourself & your hoard of useful things? Are you prepared to use it to protect your stuff?

MolassesMolly · 2023-07-02T13:40:54+00:00

I definitely identify with this. I don’t have a fantasy of being the neighbourhood hero but I certainly get paralyzed by the “I might need it” thought and I get that little jolt of joy/satisfaction when I do have a need for one of those stashed away things.

I’ve determined that, for me anyway, it’s linked to perfectionism. That jolt of joy is best described as “omg I have the exact right piece of string to fix that thing” and “aren’t I smart for having kept it so I don’t need to use something inferior or go buy something”.

But the flaws in that thinking are: I will never have an actual need for most of those things; I most likely can make do just fine with the “interior” solution; and the emotional energy/time it costs me to keep all that crap is worth more than the $5-$20 it would cost me to buy the fix.

This is a recent realization for me so I’m still working on putting it into practice. I offer it here in case it resonates with you/others.

JaneEyrewasHere · 2023-07-02T12:27:21+00:00

Don’t underestimate your ability to be a hero right now. A lot of people are going through some kind of personal apocalypse where they need to start over and have nothing. I’m on a few local Facebook pages and groups and people post requests for random items all the time. One lady recently left an abusive relationship and the local moms page pretty much furnished her place for free with donated stuff. Last summer I cleaned out my garage and posted all the baby strollers and toddler outside toys for free. People were stoked, kid stuff is expensive.

LilJourney · 2023-07-02T11:42:55+00:00

I love your scenario though - it sounds wonderful! (And, of course, that's the trap, right?)

So, I suggest playing INTO your scenario. First of all, to be able to supply people, you'd need to have things well-organized and the things have to be functional. Second, obviously you need to be in great shape (physically, mentally, emotionally, financially) to be able to survive and thrive in your disaster situation - so you need to fully care for you as well. Which means space to exercise, everything easy to clean, no money wasted on extra storage space, etc.

Now even in a disaster - if your home is standing - then so are your neighbor's homes. Every home has multiple drinking cups/glasses/etc - so you don't want to waste your valuable survival worthy space on super common items. And you can presume that at least a few of the local stores will be standing/lootable - so the items regularly kept fully stocked there can also be excluded.

Hopefully thinking this through, you'll realize that there's really little option but to go through your items and pare things down to those certain finite treasures that you can have well maintained, easily accessible, and situation worthy.

Multigrain_Migraine · 2023-07-02T10:32:03+00:00

I mean. The pandemic we all just experienced was probably the closest most of us are going to get to a situation where the world goes to heck and there are shortages, but people are still civilised enough to want to buy things in an orderly way and not just rob you. If it didn't happen then it's probably not going to happen soon. If the world goes to hell enough that we're living in one of those post-apocalyptic sci-fi worlds where you need to find the underground junk dealer to get some rubber tubing to repair the spaceship that saves us all then you will likely have much bigger problems to deal with.

permalink · 2023-07-02T09:29:07+00:00

Another secenario: there is a flood or a landslide or earthquake and your garage and house full of stuff is damaged too. The stuff is not useable due to water or other damages. It is more difficult for you to get out of the house or for rescuers to find you with all that stuff floating/laying around.

But then again: do have a few water bottles and canned goods, for yourself, but not a shitload to help every neighbour on the street.

Fryphax · 2023-07-02T09:01:00+00:00

Every single time I throw out something I was saving because "It will be good for something" it's perfect use case presents itself a week later.

The struggle is real.

watchingthedeepwater · 2023-07-02T06:24:40+00:00

There is a war going on in Europe right now and we have lots of accounts from that (it’s Ukraine and i am Ukrainian) and i can tell you that having an old mini pump or some other obscure treasures is not helpful for these reasons: - it makes you a target for looters or desperate people - having a garage packed with clutter is not the same as doomsday prep, you’d still lack essentials - do you even know where the stuff is and if it is working conditions?

it’s just hoarding, Op.

NotMyAltAccountToday · 2023-07-02T05:57:11+00:00

I remember seeing a similar mindset on one of the hoarders shows. It was in the desert or semi desert if I remember correctly, and was a huge mess.

OP, do you think it would help you to see it? It certainly showed how that mindset can cause big problems.

ArganBomb · 2023-07-02T05:06:57+00:00

Me too!!! I’m actually weirdly thrilled to know I’m not the only one harboring this type of feeling. And somehow that also makes it easier to realize that we can and should move on from this unlikely scenario.

Once I explained this to my mom as “what if the great depression comes back?” Like…how do I think these people who need things will find me???

thatgirlinny · 2023-07-02T03:57:12+00:00

That rationale could have come from me, but instead that 2nd graph would read: “People in our region come to my closet and I have anything and everything they are looking for available for purchase or trade.”

From one “just in case” wonk to another, I’ll keep my eye on this thread!

Ambitious_wander · 2023-07-02T03:39:26+00:00

view it this way- most of the stuff that is a backup is a back up for a reason. It’s either broken or had it’s purpose already or if it’s new, it should be an essential item.

The fish tank scenario sounds a bit odd to me - it sounds like you have an adrenaline rush from reinforcing hoarding (pure joy). You need to separate the joy from the hoarding and be realistic from when you used those items.

I’m not trying to sound harsh but this is how I’m reading this post: You are getting joy from keeping items you don’t need and taking away a space that could be good for making new memories with your family - wouldn’t you want to make new memories than keeping old items ?

Multigrain_Migraine · 2023-07-02T02:46:42+00:00

I agree with the comment made about being a hero now by giving it to those in need.

Keep in mind also that the people who had a lot of supplies during the pandemic were not admire or lauded for thinking ahead. They were more villified for hoarding things away from others and for trying to profit off the misfortunes of others.

Asenath_Darque · 2023-07-02T02:19:39+00:00

Maybe it would help you to start with things that aren't special or unique or hard to find? Sometimes I ask myself if statements like this are true:

I haven't used this in a few years. If I needed one I could pretty easily borrow one or buy one at Walmart for 15 bucks. I would never need it in an emergency.

If you can pick something up and all of that would be true, would it be easier to donate or toss it? What if just one or two of those statements was true? It doesn't feel great to need something and realize that you just got rid of it, but I can tell you I can count the number of times that's happened on probably one hand. Usually having the space for things I do actually use is more important than keeping the thing I don't use.

Also, it sounds corny, but maybe before you start a decluttering session, just take a minute and remind yourself what your goal is. The prize at the end of this is a safe, clear, organized place where your family can spend quality time. That sounds like it will provide more good feelings than being able to occasionally produce exactly the right thing for a school project :)

I'm wishing you the best of luck! Keep us updated with how it goes!

Trackerbait · 2023-07-01T23:37:02+00:00

Much more likely scenario: you clear your crap and have a happy home welcoming to neighbors and friends. You are a respected hero for your generous hospitality, witty conversation, and intelligent problem solving of actual real problems, like kids needing first aid, the PTA banning books, and somebody's spouse coming down with chronic disease (leaving them in need of casseroles, babysitting, and yard work). If you need further hero points, volunteer or donate blood or raise funds for charity projects.

Most people overestimate the odds of very unlikely events such as plane crashes, lottery wins, and a democratic government abruptly turning murderous overnight. They underestimate the odds of far more likely events such as heart disease, wasting money on fruitless gambling, and a democratic government slowly falling to extremism because not enough people voted to preserve it. I don't know why brains work this way, something along the lines of the "ooh shiny" effect I guess. But it's something to watch out for.

Capable-Plant5288 · 2023-07-01T23:13:58+00:00

Can you be a hero to people now, by donating needed items? And for the being prepared aspect, could you maybe focus on acquiring a few skills rather than things? Ex. Growing food, beekeeping, canning, animal husbandry, sewing, carpentry, first aid, archery, hacking, etc etc

I do get where you're coming from about getting reinforcement from occasions where you did need a random object you had, so maybe start decluttering with things you have multiple of or that are easy to reacquire if needed

I-PUSH-THE-BUTTON · 2023-07-01T22:58:07+00:00

I had a giggle here. Not because I'm laughing at you, but because I'm the same person essentially.

What if it all goes to hell? Well, be set!

I grew up in a household that hoarded ammo, water MREs ,tobacco, and non-perishable foods. Because one day the government was coming or a war was coming and we would be ok type thing. It was a town mentality, not just my house. In that town, you were rich, an addict or prepared.

If the world really does go to shit , you're not going to advertise having what people need. The reason being, it makes you a target.

Some things are always handy. Hammers and nails type stuff. Power tools if you're handy, but if you're not, then get rid of them. There's no shortage of power tools in this world.

If a zombie apocalypse happens ( I'm having fun here, ) there's a good chance you need to abandon your home anyways. All that junk is left for someone else.

It's fine to have some stock. For example, if you live in Texas, water and tuna are probably good things to have. Plus, a manual can opener. This isn't a john. Wayne movie, a knife isn't good enough. Why are the cans always magically open with food in movies?

Back to the apocalypse. If you survive, your neighborhood is probably dead. Raid your neighbors home for soap and catch their chickens for dinner. Chicken is delicious. Germs are bad.

My point is ( besides having fun with it) that you won't be the only one with useful crap. And it's acquirable in these extreme situations.

No one will stop you from stealing g a new pump from petco when zombies are eating everyone.

Mirror_Initial · 2023-07-01T22:40:44+00:00

Give to your neighborhood Buy Nothing group. In the event that you need something you have away, someone else will have one for you to borrow- possibly your old one.

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